Ani Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 So my GF and i are going to move in together in 26 days. She's moving from a different state to mine since we're a long distance relationship. Lately, the closer the day comes the more we argue. She goes from being extremely happy, to getting moody all of a sudden. Is this normal? I'm thinking she's nervous, scared.
Author Ani Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Have you asked her directly what's up? Yes she's not closed to her mom and dad. She's close to her lil sister. You read my thread I made a while back ago. She's afraid of making things harder for her sister. Just wanted to tell you that you're a really kind person. 1
january2011 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Ah, just checked that thread again. I suspect that after living such a sheltered life, now that the possibility of moving out is real, she feels scared about the 'unknown': will it work out? Is she making the right decision? Etc. From experience, some older siblings do feel somewhat guilty when they leave the parental home, especially if they were very protective of their younger sibling(s). And if your girlfriend is scared about what will happen when she leaves, then that's probably feeding into her concern about whether she's doing the right thing or not. Thing is though, the circumstances surrounding her leaving are not ideal. But then they are never are. She cannot protect her sister all her life. And she cannot stay under her parents roof all her life. I know that in some cultures that emphasise community and the family, it can be difficult to strike out on your own, especially if you're female. However, I think that even those cultures are susceptible to outside influences that focus more on the individual. And many children use the opportunity to go to college as the point to breakaway. Your girlfriend has to accept that whatever happens, happens. Sometimes, we only get one opportunity to do something. This is her chance to live the life that she chooses. Rather than to live the one chosen for her by her parents. What you can do is continue to support her. Talk through her fears and concerns. Talk about the probability of the outcomes that she fears. How likely are they to happen? Would it really be that bad if they did happen? What are the positives? Sometimes we can let our fears make a potential outcome seem worse than it really is. Sometimes we are right, but most often, we are wrong and things don't turn out that badly. It is only with hindsight that we can evaluate outcomes with 100% certainty.
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