Magda70 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 From the law's den: I know it's common to call FB users who check non-friends account stalkers. First of all, in Internet terms, imo, the right word should be lurkers as those who read this forum without intervening in the discussion. In addition, as far as I know, for the law, stalking means something completely different and is a real crime: among others, it means, passing by someone's house, monitoring movements, trying to get/stay in touch and to meet (emails, calls, letters). It's a crime for which one might obtain a restrain order. Can I conclude that FB improperly called stalking has nothing to do with the law and crimes and it is just a angry way to address lurkers who check after others FB users? First of all is unprovable as FB has a strict policy about it, but even when the lurking is confessed by the lurker himself in a situation like: Tom sees non-friend Tim FB post (publicly visible, of course) or Tim page and makes Tim a nasty remark about it (or a compliment, it does not matter) can Tim accuses Tom of stalking and warn Tom to call the cops if he does not stop it? Or can Tom accuses Tim of libelling (bringing this case) to the extreme...:-))) Just curious. Thanks Magda
Philosoraptor Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 If you don't want a stranger to have access to your facebook page you need to set the protection correctly and not add any strangers. It's that simple. You can't blame someone else for looking when you leave your account open for the world to see. 2
Author Magda70 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 You can't blame someone else for looking when you leave your account open for the world to see. Good. fully agree. However, the caution-less FB users (and libellers ;-)) object that you went there just because you knew there would have been something about them and they ask you: why did you go there? Exactly as a stalker would go at a certain address in order to hope to see their victim. I believe this is the sole common fact between FB "stalking" and offline stalking.
Philosoraptor Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You could google someone as well and find out a ton of information. The thing is that stalking is invading someone's privacy. Following someone around in the flesh is an issue... but there is no privacy on the internet.
Author Magda70 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 ... but there is no privacy on the internet. Right: there is no privacy if one does not or cannot set their privacy settings being them for a website (robots to avoid ndexing) or FB. Having said this, the query to the lurker still remains embarrasing: "why the hell did you look at my profile/google my name". What would you answer?
flitzanu Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 From the law's den: I know it's common to call FB users who check non-friends account stalkers. First of all, in Internet terms, imo, the right word should be lurkers as those who read this forum without intervening in the discussion. In addition, as far as I know, for the law, stalking means something completely different and is a real crime: among others, it means, passing by someone's house, monitoring movements, trying to get/stay in touch and to meet (emails, calls, letters). It's a crime for which one might obtain a restrain order. Can I conclude that FB improperly called stalking has nothing to do with the law and crimes and it is just a angry way to address lurkers who check after others FB users? First of all is unprovable as FB has a strict policy about it, but even when the lurking is confessed by the lurker himself in a situation like: Tom sees non-friend Tim FB post (publicly visible, of course) or Tim page and makes Tim a nasty remark about it (or a compliment, it does not matter) can Tim accuses Tom of stalking and warn Tom to call the cops if he does not stop it? Or can Tom accuses Tim of libelling (bringing this case) to the extreme...:-))) Just curious. Thanks Magda is an ex calling you a facebook stalker? 1
SilverBlueAndGold Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You could google someone as well and find out a ton of information. The thing is that stalking is invading someone's privacy. Following someone around in the flesh is an issue... but there is no privacy on the internet. Bingo. More people need to realize this. Never say anything on the internet that would not be willing shout in a crowded room. Seriously, nothing out there is private. And deleted does not mean it's gone. If the need ever arises there is a very good chance it can be dug up again. 1
Author Magda70 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 is an ex calling you a facebook stalker? Yes. I don;t really know what to answer besides what others have already answered here (which I did) but he keeps slandering around, now.
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Having said this, the query to the lurker still remains embarrasing: "why the hell did you look at my profile/google my name". What would you answer? There can be a ton of valid reasons. As simple as "I was bored and wanted to know a bit more about you" to as precise as "I wanted to know if you had a criminal history before I dated you". Yes. I don;t really know what to answer besides what others have already answered here (which I did) but he keeps slandering around, now. Why let it bother you what someone else thinks? People who know you will know better and people who don't really don't matter anyways. 1
stillafool Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Yes. I don;t really know what to answer besides what others have already answered here (which I did) but he keeps slandering around, now. I would forget about it if I were you and not go to his FB anymore. Can you do that?
Author Magda70 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Why let it bother you what someone else thinks? People who know you will know better and people who don't really don't matter anyways. It's not that simple: I am regular in the town where he lives and I now fear to meet someone in his network and to have to face giggles or some strange reactions...I know you have a point in saying "who cares?" but it still sucks instead.
Author Magda70 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 I would forget about it if I were you and not go to his FB anymore. Can you do that? Not sure...what i can do is not revealing him I have done it even if i did not see anything wrong as he set all public.
Author Magda70 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 There can be a ton of valid reasons. As simple as "I was bored and wanted to know a bit more about you" to as precise as "I wanted to know if you had a criminal history before I dated you". hahaha...you wont see anyone's criminal record online....as yet.
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It's not that simple: I am regular in the town where he lives and I now fear to meet someone in his network and to have to face giggles or some strange reactions...I know you have a point in saying "who cares?" but it still sucks instead. Yes it can suck. I've dealt with verbal lashings from people who were told very bold lies. You let it go and continue to be happy. Life's not long enough to sit in misery.
stillafool Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Not sure...what i can do is not revealing him I have done it even if i did not see anything wrong as he set all public. What do you mean you are "not sure" you can not check his FB? Just don't do it.
HollyBolly Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I don't feel checking someone's FB profile is stalking at all. If you're trying to hack into it, then that's a different story. The profile is out there for all to see! How is that stalking? He/She can always adjust his/her privacy settings. I used to look out my window to see if my ex was home or not. Am I a stalker?
Author Magda70 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 What do you mean you are "not sure" you can not check his FB? Just don't do it. From time to time I still check it. Not sure i can resist the temptation...I'm doing less and less; probably I wont do any longer when I will be totally over him.
Author Magda70 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 I used to look out my window to see if my ex was home or not. Am I a stalker? If your ex was an irascible trouble maker and if he noted what you do, you might have been warned as well. I do not know in your country how seriously consider the stalking and in the offline world is all different as a matter offact but I do not think that his case would have gone that far anyhow...
Emilia Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Not sure...what i can do is not revealing him I have done it even if i did not see anything wrong as he set all public. It's the same as you switching all the lights on in your house and opening all the courtains only to complain that people keep peering inside watching what you are doing. If it's in the public domain it's not stalking. 1
flitzanu Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It's not that simple: I am regular in the town where he lives and I now fear to meet someone in his network and to have to face giggles or some strange reactions...I know you have a point in saying "who cares?" but it still sucks instead. and those people obviously have nothing better going on in their lives other than staring at you as you walk down the street and calling you "a stalker".
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