Para22 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Hi I love my partner very much but I have had a gut feeling for a while now that something is not quite right. I have the feeling she is texting someone when at work but deleting the texts. She had a bit of a wild time before she met me a marriage split at 39 and then party time from 40 til now 48 we are moved in together and she had a lot of male friends who would text dirty jokes which I wasn't keen on and said. These don't arrive when she's with me but I now know she gets them and text back when she's at work but deletes them and doesn't say anything it makes me feel like she's hiding something .
YellowShark Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 People with nothing to hide... Hide nothing. Dirty texts that are deleted so you can't see them is a HUGE red flag. BEWARE. You must set a boundary with her ASAP and let her know that flirty sexual texts are a big problem for you and unacceptable if you two are going to be exclusive. Or would she be happy if you were flirting with other women, deleting the texts, and then hiding said texts from her. Would she like that?
SomedayDig Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Easiest way to confront an issue like this is if you share the same wireless carrier, you can see the number of texts and the phone number it was sent to/from. If you notice a ton of them, I would just inquire but not be overzealous unless there's a real reason to be. Shark is right, having text messages and deleting them is a big red flag and nothing to take lightly. If someone is willing to hide a text, what else would they be willing to hide? 1
Author Para22 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Thanks for the response yes your right she would go bonkers if she found out I was doing the same , I have tried talking to her but the answer is always the same either she hasn't had any texts or it was just a joke I forgot to tell you. I caught her in a lie recently when I asked if since she had been seeing me she had spoken to her ex she said no but her mobile bill says different I confronted her she got upset and said it was just he asked how she was and she text back in a new relationship moving in but should this have taken 4 replies from her to him to say this? As for the jokes she says that they will die off and she doesn't want them but they are not and she won't do anything to stop it what am I to do.
Author Para22 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 How do you mean wireless carrier what do I do
SomedayDig Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 How do you mean wireless carrier what do I do For example, our cell phone carrier is Verizon. At any time I can go online and look at my current bill. It will show the phone number and time of any text sent or received as well as the phone number of any phone calls made. All of these have time and date stamps as well.
standtall Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I agree with the other posters...she is deceiving you. Start digging deeper. Perhaps you can give some more info as to the nature of your relationship such as if you're living together, how long have you been dating, how long you've been exclusive, did she have close male friends prior to you dating her, etc..
BetrayedH Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Also check the internet history on her computer to see what sites she has been going to. And also check the deleted messages or trash on her email/computer. Sometimes you can also retrieve deleted messages off of a phone's SIM card but I haven't done that so I can't tell you how personally. Someone here can. Discovering infidelity almost always starts with something in your "gut" telling you things are off. I eventually put a GPS in my wife's car and discovered her at a hotel when she was supposed to be at work. That may be extreme at the moment but you do have two huge red flags with her deceiving you about her ex and flirty texts with other men. You should investigate, stop asking about it (or she can take it further underground), and never reveal your sources if/when you do decide to confront her. Once she knows what you are looking at, she'll never use that method again.
Bellechica Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You might also want to see if she has a separate text app on her phone and check her email to see if she has a separate phone such as a tracphone.
Megwwood Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 always go with your gut! just curious, if you haven't seen the cell phone account or the amount of text messages, how do you know that she is getting several texts at work and deleting them? I log on to our cell phone account on line and go under my husbands number and it shows the amount of texts along with the number that are to or from. I go to spokeo.com and check the cell numbers to see who they are. does she have facebook and twitter also? if you have access to her computer or she has the apps on her phone you might get her user name and check out the accounts.
Ninja'sHusband Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Yeah get that online wireless profile going with your company. I'm with ATT and I can see who texts her and who she texts. I learned she hadn't quit talking to OM that way. Couldn't read the messages...so it won't be proof for you. My big proof came from Facebook, I read her message log of a chat that was proof of hotels and the whole 9 yards.
2sunny Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You can actually tap into her phone and read past text messages and know which sites she visits and what email messages she gets or sends. She receives them most likely because she participates by responding. If she didn't WANT to receive any messages SHE WOULD tell the sender to STOP - but she hasn't! So since SHE keeps participating - she still receives them - and most likely responds. She feeding it - therefore its staying active and alive. She's also lying. That tells you enough to not trust her. Little lies mean bigger issues. Find out more info before presenting anything to her - do this without allowing her to understand you're paying attention to what she's DOING. What she's doing will tell you everything you need to know and how you should proceed. Collect EVIDENCE... You have a right to understand what is REAL and what is not. You are finding out her truth - then seeing if she's willing to be honest about it. It will show you her character (whether she's honest with YOU - or not).
g450 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 For example, our cell phone carrier is Verizon. At any time I can go online and look at my current bill. It will show the phone number and time of any text sent or received as well as the phone number of any phone calls made. All of these have time and date stamps as well. I have verizon as well. Its a great feature. I pay for both mine and my GFs account on there. I will be switching to sprint once my contract is over because they are cheaper. I was also told that Sprint gives you the option of actually reading txts on their web page even if my GF erases them off her phone. Is that correct? If you had that option I would have piece of mind. Buy her a new phone for her birthday or something.
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