Sugarkane Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I really liked a guy and the first date couldn't have gone better. But then all I got was an apology weeks later as he's been busy. I was like whatever. So I continued going on dates with others. I went out with another guy and everything has been going well. But i screwed up coz I wanted to take things slower and didn't. Then he asked me to be exclusive. He more or less said he knew what he wanted! But I'm scared of being burned over again.
darkmoon Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 what does he EXCACTLY mean by exclusive? i know he means neither of you go with others, but if he in love with you if he is and you want that, fine, he might want to prove he loves somehow, if you ask him to.
Radu Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I really liked a guy and the first date couldn't have gone better. But then all I got was an apology weeks later as he's been busy. I was like whatever. So I continued going on dates with others. I went out with another guy and everything has been going well. But i screwed up coz I wanted to take things slower and didn't. Then he asked me to be exclusive. He more or less said he knew what he wanted! But I'm scared of being burned over again. So you got burned, you have a few options : 1 - go for it again and focus on the positives. 'My life has been a string of failures.' Michael Jordan said this. I take it that many ppl become so afraid of losing that they would rather not take the chance to expose themselves. This is stupid and a self-defeating mentality. Stop thinking you will get your heart broken, just go out there with this guy and explore another human being. 2 - get a few cats and become a spinster that cries 40yrs from now at the 'lost time'. If you choose this, avoid madeleines as they can make you daydream about your childhood.
shayla Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 My current boyfriend asked me to be exclusive way early in our relationship. He also told me that he loved me and i admit it wigged me out at first. It seemed that he just had to get that out then our relationship went on at it's easy pace. We have been together for a year and a half now. It's all good. Maybe the man you are seeing is doing this as well. Because of the knowledge you gained from your past break up, take that lesson, throw out all the negative that came with it, and use the education in this relationship.
newmoon Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 exclusive can be a very good thing, and if you like the guy then definitely give it a chance. a lot of times it's women that want the exclusivity, so if a guy is willing to offer this up so early he must really like you a lot and want to spend his time getting to know you better. take it as a wonderful compliment and focus on being positive about this new chance :-) 1
Pierre Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Then he asked me to be exclusive. He more or less said he knew what he wanted! But I'm scared of being burned over again. It is difficult to truly know someone if you are dating a few other men and he is dating a few other women. Thoughts and feelings are diluted and there is also the issue of having to lie to accommodate all those extra dates. So exclusive is the way to go for an honest meaningful dating experience. 4
g450 Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I really liked a guy and the first date couldn't have gone better. But then all I got was an apology weeks later as he's been busy. I was like whatever. So I continued going on dates with others. I went out with another guy and everything has been going well. But i screwed up coz I wanted to take things slower and didn't. Then he asked me to be exclusive. He more or less said he knew what he wanted! But I'm scared of being burned over again. OK what you posted makes no sense to me. But maybe Im a bit slow. You do want a LTR and marriage right? If so then him wanting to be exclusive is not just good its a great sign. Means he is monogomous and ready to commit. How on earth is that bad? If you are that afraid of being burned again then dont date for crying out loud. Or are you saying you just want to play the field? If that is your true intention then leave him be so the man can find himself wife material, because your posting here indicates to me that you do not have that as a goal. What is it that you want exactly?
Author Sugarkane Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Well coz ive had other guys say that to me in The past, only to find out they already had a gf etc. I don't know if he just wants sex or not:/ 1
g450 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 Well coz ive had other guys say that to me in The past, only to find out they already had a gf etc. I don't know if he just wants sex or not:/ Well at the risk of sounding rude, you wont find that out by asking us. Its yours to decide if he is worth the risk. The signs are good though.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I really liked a guy and the first date couldn't have gone better. But then all I got was an apology weeks later as he's been busy. I was like whatever. So I continued going on dates with others. I went out with another guy and everything has been going well. But i screwed up coz I wanted to take things slower and didn't. Then he asked me to be exclusive. He more or less said he knew what he wanted! But I'm scared of being burned over again. A guy who asks you to be exclusive is a dinosaur patriarch from the 50s wanting tor restrict your freedom as a woman. Next thing you know, he's going to demand that you give up your voting rights and tie you to the stove.
g450 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 A guy who asks you to be exclusive is a dinosaur patriarch from the 50s wanting tor restrict your freedom as a woman. Next thing you know, he's going to demand that you give up your voting rights and tie you to the stove. Wow! So because the guy is NOT a player and doesnt want sloppy seconds and expects at least some level of commitment from a woman he is automatically a controlling and demanding neanderthal? I guess that would be me then. Back to my cave I go LOL. Good thing Im getting married next June. Now I dont have to play all these new age dating games.
Author Sugarkane Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 I'm not sure if he's telling me the truth though. I swear he said his job was only 9-5, but he worked today on a saturday. I asked him about this and he pretended he didn't hear me. He was texting on his phone last night and wouldn't tell me who it was.
Author Sugarkane Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 (edited) I also feel like he's being lazy. Instead of going on dates he just wants me to come over. That makes me feel like I'm being used. We also had a fight. He attacked me for not opening up enough. But he always interviews me like I'm at a job interview and always puts me on the spot. Very annoying. Edited May 5, 2012 by Sugarkane computer error
veggirl Posted May 5, 2012 Posted May 5, 2012 Umm with the additional info it sounds like he said he wants to be exclusive so you would sleep with him. Are you sleeping with him? Texting on your dates? Not cool and it's too soon for him to be doing shiz like that.
g450 Posted May 6, 2012 Posted May 6, 2012 I also feel like he's being lazy. Instead of going on dates he just wants me to come over. That makes me feel like I'm being used. We also had a fight. He attacked me for not opening up enough. But he always interviews me like I'm at a job interview and always puts me on the spot. Very annoying. OK read your last two posts and it looks like this one is DOA. He sounds like a player. Too bad because your first posting gave me high hopes you found a good honest man who wants commitment. If you decided to keep dating him I would suggest you NOT sleep with him for a good long while. If he is the real deal and wants exclusivity then he will wait for it. If he gets impatient then I feel like veggirl does. He was just giving you verbal candy to get you to give up your candy. Personally I would drop him just for the argument alone. You just met him. He has no right to ask that of you and that was incredibly rude of him and a bit controling.
Author Sugarkane Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 Wow! So because the guy is NOT a player and doesnt want sloppy seconds and expects at least some level of commitment from a woman he is automatically a controlling and demanding neanderthal? I guess that would be me then. Back to my cave I go LOL. Good thing Im getting married next June. Now I dont have to play all these new age dating games. Are you sure? He's been sleeping with me and he's still got his profile up.
Author Sugarkane Posted May 9, 2012 Author Posted May 9, 2012 I remember reading that most men would wait to sleep with their dream girl. Eg Jessica Biel. Even though she's mediocre and totally an over rated actress. Also engaged to a complete douche. Yet this guy told me waiting for me wasn't worth it. Not happy
veggirl Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 Are you sure? He's been sleeping with me and he's still got his profile up. You are "exclusive" but he has a dating profile up? UMMMM. Have you asked him about that?! I'd bail.
LittlePrince Posted May 9, 2012 Posted May 9, 2012 I really liked a guy and the first date couldn't have gone better. But then all I got was an apology weeks later as he's been busy. I was like whatever. So I continued going on dates with others. I went out with another guy and everything has been going well. But i screwed up coz I wanted to take things slower and didn't. Then he asked me to be exclusive. He more or less said he knew what he wanted! But I'm scared of being burned over again. You should have been exclusive at the beginning and date one person at a time.
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