Chrisal23 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 It's been tough coming home after each long day to remember that me and my ex are no longer together. I really love this girl to the point where I had no problem having her by my side always. I know I messed up but I want to know if this breakup was in my hands to be prevented in the first place. Ok so me and my ex went out for 2 years on and off but mostly together the majority of the time. I've posted the majority of the story already. But when do you know that you have to stop? Does the man always come back to the girl he loves? I've done this after each breakup and honestly it felt good to have her back but we still had fights and she didn't trust me. It just sucks when I think of another man being with her and making love to her, it KILLS ME. So i lost her trust when I asked another girl for advice with our relationship. At the time my ex asked for time and i was devastated because i didn't want to loose her. She would ask for a break and the next day i would ask her out for lunch and we made up. This happened several times but when after she found out that I was talking to this girl she was schocked. She said that she didn't know who I was like I was doing things behind her back. Of course I was sorry and begged her not to break up but it was inevitable. It was a long week and eventually we made up, but since then she dosen't trust me. A couple of months later she went out with another boy, but not just any boy. This boy has been in the picture for awhile and till this day she pretends like she won't go out with him. When I found out that she left alone with I felt terrible! but i tried to forgive to be happy with her. We still fought and last time we broke up ( a couple of months ago) she went to the movies with this boy. She confessed that he tried to kiss her but she didnt let him. My question is why go with him when she knew he had intentions with her , he probably wanted to do more than kissing I'm sure. I was also upset when she confessed this to me. What i did when we broke up the first time was go drink with my friends (which was stupid of me). The second time I also did the same, but girls were there ( I didn't even do anything with them). She accused me of being an alcoholic but I'm really not. I don't drink at all since then and I'm perfectly fine. These are the reason of why she can't trust me and how she judged me. I also sometimes lost my temper and yelled at her and was a little aggressive (something I dislike about myself). Never hit her though (not to that extreme) Now I just came back from work and I feel like contacting her :/ I don't even feel right doing it but I also don't want to loose her. She always broke up with me except for one time when I did. The only reason why I even did it was because she broke up with me and said she didn't mean it. Like I'm supposed to know she didn't mean it. Ugh it's frustrating since I see no solution that could cheer me up right now. I haven't contacted my ex since 2 weeks ago when i broke NC. We only exchanged a couple of texts in the morning and that was it. Since then it's been a month since the breakup. Someone tell me what you think? I've admitted my mistakes and there's probably other small ones but I can't explain everything. I apologize for the long post. Thanks
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