ThaWholigan Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I've read a lot of funny threads recently and posted a lot in them, and I've been coming to some conclusions in my head. Now previously I had been encouraging guys to "improve" themselves and cultivate more "alpha" like traits and confidence. Now I still think that some attributes are good, but I've revised my understanding a little. I now have an understanding that some people have an innate style and way of communicating, of dating, and attributes that when expressed positively, make them attractive. The things that make them unique. So I've got a few questions: 1) How comfortable are you with the way you date? Your attributes, or attractiveness? 2) Do you think that you need to improve or augment some of the ways you attract people? How would you? 3) Do you feel your dating style attracts the people you want? Does it attract anyone at all?? How do you feel you can reconcile this?
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 1) How comfortable are you with the way you date? Your attributes, or attractiveness? I've always been comfortable with my attractiveness. I've never had the same anxiety over my looks like other guys. 2) Do you think that you need to improve or augment some of the ways you attract people? How would you? I think I might stand to be a little more patient with women. But I whenever I try to be patient with one woman, another woman with a quicker response will attract my attention. 3) Do you feel your dating style attracts the people you want? Does it attract anyone at all?? How do you feel you can reconcile this? My dating style doesn't attract every woman I want. It attracts enough women I want. I'm more easygoing about the women I meet than other guys. Comments in bold.
SmileFace Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 1) How comfortable are you with the way you date? Your attributes, or attractiveness? I am pretty content with my attractiveness and personality . I find myself more productive in my life when I am dating someone, which can be good and bad. 2) Do you think that you need to improve or augment some of the ways you attract people? How would you? I think I need to be more outgoing when it comes to guys. I don't come across as very friendly so that is usually off putting to guys. I need to work on being more approachable. 3) Do you feel your dating style attracts the people you want? Does it attract anyone at all?? How do you feel you can reconcile this? I don't think I attract the guys I need. I generally attract guys who are taken or generally busy. However I am attracted to go getters and guys who do their best to reach their goals so that is something I choose.
threebyfate Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 My responses are based on dating prior to marriage: 1) How comfortable are you with the way you date? Your attributes, or attractiveness? Very comfortable. 2) Do you think that you need to improve or augment some of the ways you attract people? How would you? Post cessation of first marriage, I went through a period of mistrusting my judgement but subsequently amended the problem by anchoring to my instincts. 3) Do you feel your dating style attracts the people you want? Does it attract anyone at all?? How do you feel you can reconcile this? It attracted both wanted and unwanted, where I dated the wanted.
Author ThaWholigan Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 1) How comfortable are you with the way you date? Your attributes, or attractiveness? 2) Do you think that you need to improve or augment some of the ways you attract people? How would you? 3) Do you feel your dating style attracts the people you want? Does it attract anyone at all?? How do you feel you can reconcile this? 1) I'm comfortable with my style of attraction after much introspection about how I go about it. I am also very much comfortable with my looks after a long time of being the opposite. I believe that my attributes are ideal for me now. 2) I could be fitter, I could also be a little bolder than normal in my interactions, and allow myself to express my sexuality more freely and appropriately. 3) Sometimes. Every now and then I attract someone who is attractive but rarely for long. I find it difficult to attract people at times, but that's more of a personal issue than is related to dating style. The only way to reconcile this is to become comfortable with my life situation.
joystickd Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 1. I am very comfortable with the way I date. I actually would recommend everyone to take a straight forward honest approach 2. No I think what I do works well a little too well in the sense I have no trouble in getting women that have boyfriends or are married 3. It attracts a wide range of women. I think I may just need to hone in on the type I want to be in an actual relationship with.
Anela Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I could write a book about this... and I almost did last night. Just bumping this for now.
jobaba Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 (edited) So I've got a few questions: 1) How comfortable are you with the way you date? Your attributes, or attractiveness? 2) Do you think that you need to improve or augment some of the ways you attract people? How would you? 3) Do you feel your dating style attracts the people you want? Does it attract anyone at all?? How do you feel you can reconcile this? 1) My dating style ... I'm looking for a woman who is non-shallow and who roots for the underdog/little guy ... just like me. I absolutely cannot date a shallow front runner type. I don't care about looks. My attributes are mostly internal and the most important ones are mentioned above. I expect/hope my mate to have the same. My looks shouldn't matter at all to the right person, but I think I'm pretty cute and some have agreed. I'm pretty proud of my dating style. 2) I can improve my communication and be less judgemental. But doing the latter would fundamentally alter my #1. 3) Finding someone who shares my dating style is difficult. Mostly everyone cares a lot about looks regardless of whether they are attractive or not. I've managed to attract a few women that has less to do with my dating style than just being aggressive and facing a lot of rejection. The women I've managed to date have been attractive in a consensus sense or at least squarely average. All have been hit on in public. The women I've managed to date don't have much in common, but the last one was closest to what I am looking for. So that is a good sign. Edited May 2, 2012 by jobaba
wwwjd Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 1. I'm very happy with what I do, but am bummed that it is not as respected or acceptable as players. But, not gonna change. I'm the guy that starts ONLY as friends and slowly grows the garden of desire over longer periods of time. 2. I enjoy being all I can be, so I am most of the time. Even in a relationship I don't like the: "honeymoon is over, time to slack part". Again, this causes issues with girls not understanding being used to the slack part. 3. Yes, does exactly what I feel is good and respectable for both sides. There have been marriage desires that, if I had a different life, would have been ideal. But no regrets
zengirl Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 1) How comfortable are you with the way you date? Your attributes, or attractiveness? Very comfortable. 2) Do you think that you need to improve or augment some of the ways you attract people? How would you? Already did. My attributes (non-physical) were developed over time, though --- I actively changed for the better and engaged in personal growth to get along with people better in general and be happier in general, which helped my romantic life immensely. I also actively changed the way I dated -- i.e. being more forward in order to go out with the men I wanted, clarifying my goals, making my intentions clear, etc. 3) Do you feel your dating style attracts the people you want? Does it attract anyone at all?? How do you feel you can reconcile this? It worked. I met Hubby. I also met many other men that were close to suitable and seemed to get better prospects with time and effort in that direction. Before I changed my style, I attracted people, but all the wrong people! Then, I tried to not attract those guys, but nothing worked to keep certain guys away. Oh, well. I realized that I didn't care if they approached - just as long as I could find the guys I wanted. So I just started being more assertive and proactive and taking the pursuing role for the guys I actually wanted. I also did more OLD, rather than just relying on men I met out and about.
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