usabreakup Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 So here is my story. Any advice would be great. Id been seeing this girl for around 3 weeks. Everything was going great, we got on well, our sex life was amazing and we had such fun. Then out of nowhere, she tells me that its not really working for her and she dosnt feel like there is a future for us?! I was a little shocked by this and didn't really see it coming as she gave no indication before hand and we have never argued. I found it hard to believe she was just walking away after we had shared so much. So I called her a couple of days ago to ask how she was and to see if she wanted to hang out. She said no and she seemed pretty off with me. I know it was stupid but I just broke down. I told her I loved her more then I had ever loved anyone before and begged her for another chance. She said no and said she was sorry. So yesterday I thought I would do something romantic for her and I turned up at her work to read her a poem that I wrote. I thought I would do it infront of her work colleague's so she felt special. She went crazy at me. Asked me what I was doing there and said it was completely inappropriate?!?! I went home feeling ridiculous but after I calmed down, I sent her the poem via text message. She hasn't replied yet. What can I do to get this girl back? I feel like I need a plan. Any idea's?
Philosoraptor Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You can't get this girl back. She has made the decision that you two are not a good match and is sticking with it. Of course she is upset that you showed up at her work... you embarassed her. She's just not interested anymore and anything further will just continue to make you look like a fool. Let her go and move on because she already has.
flitzanu Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 showing up at a girl's job and reading a poem to her after knowing her for 3 weeks seems...psychotic. that's why she was mad. i recommend not doing things like that unless you'd been dating like a year. 1
CaliBabe Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 3 weeks and you are telling her you love her more than you have loved anyone before? ...3 weeks? I mean, c'mon man. You probably scared the bejesus out of her. She could tell you were needy and smothering and decided to break it off. Furthermore, coming to her job and reading a poem in front of her co-workers and breaking down to her, then texting her the poem after she told you off, would only validate what she thought before about the neediness. She has already made her decision and women tend to think things through before they do it. It was a 3 week relationship, I would try your hardest to move forward with your dignity in tact. 1
geegirl Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 USA, put the poems down and step away from the phone. You were involved with her for only 3 weeks. I think you sealed the deal for yourself by serenading her with a poem at her work. I would be doing the same thing she's doing, running. There is no way to win her back. There are no plans. She made her decision and you have to respect it. Anything other than that is going to make her view you in a very negative way, and it's already bad.
Author usabreakup Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Ok so thanks for the comments. Iv thought a lot about it and all the stuff that you have all said. I really appreciate the comments. But I still don't want to give up. There has to be something romantic I can do. I was thinking, leave it for 1 week then ask her out on a date. On the date I could bring her a rose and even pay for dinner. Then after the date ill ask her to give me another chance. I know I can do better this time. Iv made a bit of a fool of myself, there is no doubt about that. But I can reel her back in I'm sure. Nothing is in possible. Everyone say it with me... NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!
Daniel Kaiser Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Man, you've got some serious growing up to do. Sorry to say it like this, but you have no chances WHAtSOEVER with that girl, after messing up so much. There's a lot you have to learn about women, and it just can't be typed here. golden suggestion: Go read about dating, what women want in a man, and stuff like that, and you will understand what happened to you.
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It might not be impossible but it is at the very least highly improbable. I think you should just count your losses on this one and learn from it. She already had a feeling that you two couldn't work and it only intensified incredibly when you embarassed her in front of her office. Romance won't fix this and you might even end up with a restraining order if you keep bothering this girl. Is this the first girl you've dated? I'm reading a very large lack of experience that will likely get you into a world of trouble, mostly pain. 1
geegirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) Ok so thanks for the comments. Iv thought a lot about it and all the stuff that you have all said. I really appreciate the comments. But I still don't want to give up. There has to be something romantic I can do. I was thinking, leave it for 1 week then ask her out on a date. On the date I could bring her a rose and even pay for dinner. Then after the date ill ask her to give me another chance. I know I can do better this time. Iv made a bit of a fool of myself, there is no doubt about that. But I can reel her back in I'm sure. Nothing is in possible. Everyone say it with me... NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! "Love" has made you delusional. It's not about "doing better" or acting different. She has no interest in you, period. If a man told me in 3 weeks he loved me more than anything in this world, I'd run. If he came to my job and serenaded me even after I said NO, I'd disappear. It's not normal behavior. No means no. There is no other meaning other than NO. You may have been a bit of a fool, anything more is going to just make you look psychotic. She does not want to be reeled in. And paying for dinner is not going to change her mind about how she feels for you. You've completely killed any emotion by behaving the way you did. There's no recovering from that. Your behavior is not attractive to a woman. Learn from this and "do better" for the future. Edited May 3, 2012 by geegirl 2
Chi townD Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 DUDE!!! You scared her away. It's a done deal. Move on! Hell, you're scaring me away from this thread!!! 1
Author usabreakup Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks for the comments again. I know some of you are being harsh to make me understand so that's cool, I get that. I'm just a believer in fate that's all. And I feel as though we are ment to be. There is a chance tomorrow I may bump into her anyway. She works right across the street from a pizza place I plan on getting my lunch from just outside my town. If I see her, ill just act natural and won't say anything stupid. At least if I look cool and leave without saying goodbye, she won't think I'm needy or anything.
Philosoraptor Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 If you believe in fate then believe that if you pursue this woman you will find continued humiliation and pain in your future. You never answered.. what is your dating history like?
Author usabreakup Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 My dating history varies- I'm 34 now and I had my first real girlfriend around the time my Dad walked out on us around 18. Him leaving had an impact on me so I got out of that relationship quick. My next girlfriend was when I was 23. I loved the girl but she cheated on me and left after around 3 years. I tried my hardest to win her back but she dosnt talk to me anymore. I had another relationship when I was 29 and got engaged after 2 months. She left after 8 months saying she didn't love me. Again I chased her and again, she won't talk to me anymore. Then - had a relationship when I was 31 which lasted 8 months. She left me one day without saying goodbye and wouldn't return any of my calls or texts. I don't know if she left for another guy or not but I never saw her again. This girl is different though, I can feel it.
Chi townD Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Fate isn't ambushing someone outside a pizza joint......that's a plan. 2
geegirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 My dating history varies- I'm 34 now and I had my first real girlfriend around the time my Dad walked out on us around 18. Him leaving had an impact on me so I got out of that relationship quick. My next girlfriend was when I was 23. I loved the girl but she cheated on me and left after around 3 years. I tried my hardest to win her back but she dosnt talk to me anymore. I had another relationship when I was 29 and got engaged after 2 months. She left after 8 months saying she didn't love me. Again I chased her and again, she won't talk to me anymore. Then - had a relationship when I was 31 which lasted 8 months. She left me one day without saying goodbye and wouldn't return any of my calls or texts. I don't know if she left for another guy or not but I never saw her again. This girl is different though, I can feel it. Notice the pattern. You chase and they all don't talk to you anymore. Yes, this woman tells you she does not want to be with you, that she doesn't see a future and gets mad that you act inappropriately at her job and you chase. She is different from the rest. Surely. You're supposed to be learning from your mistakes. Instead, you keep repeating the same patterns hoping for different results. The definition of insanity.
Author usabreakup Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks for the replies. I text her saying "hey, I'm having lunch at your pizza place across the street tomorrow. If I see you there don't worry, I won't try to talk to you :)" She replied "Why would you travel 10 miles just to get some pizza?" I havnt replied yet. What should I say? This is the first time iv had any proper conversation with her since we split. I want to keep it light hearted!
Mindfr3ak Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) Man,that is insanity what you're doing!I've read all of your and other posts and i think you really dont get the point dont you?There is no hope what-so-ever to win over that girl!She is gone for good!No fate will bring her back,and you even added to it when you did all those things.You didnt even learn from your previous relationships!Go and study from those,thats called gathering experience!All these mistakes you made are making me feel like you never even dated before.Thats just the result of you not learning from your previous mistakes. P.S. Why the hell didnt you think over your plan,now you look like a stalker.It would even scare me to death to be honest.Think!God gave you a brain with a good reason! Edited May 3, 2012 by Mindfr3ak
pteromom Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 !!!!!!!!! If I was her, I wouldn't even be going OUTSIDE around lunch time, in fear that I would run into you at the pizza place. And I would be creeped out that you were coming around my office to have lunch and texted me to let me know. I would be thinking you are a complete STALKER, and would be considering a restraining order. Seriously, there is no coming back from this. Let her go and leave her alone!!!
veggirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) Echoing the others because you really need to hear it over and over. Try to pay attention dude!!! She *does not* want you to do "romantic" things for her. BTW, what you consider romantic, she considers CREEPY. DUDE!!! You scared her away. It's a done deal. Move on! Hell, you're scaring me away from this thread!!! Read that over and over OP. And just so you know, she is probably showing her friends your texts and crap and they are all laughing at you. Thanks for the replies. I text her saying "hey, I'm having lunch at your pizza place across the street tomorrow. If I see you there don't worry, I won't try to talk to you :)" She replied "Why would you travel 10 miles just to get some pizza?" I havnt replied yet. What should I say? This is the first time iv had any proper conversation with her since we split. I want to keep it light hearted! DO NOT REPLY!! Are you crazy?! You look like a psycho stalker! "oh hey girl who dumped me, I am randomly going to be eating pizza 2 feet from your window tomorrow! cool huh!" DUDE!!! Get a grip! I bet in your relationship you were too clingy, too needy, and obessive. Cmon guy. She doesn't want to date you anymore. Sorry, yes we are being harsh but you are being dense! You need to CHILL. Why the hell were you ever engaged after only 2 mos of dating? When you date someone, you obsess don't you? They become your everything? NOT GOOD. For the love of god do not go eat pizza by her work. Edited May 3, 2012 by veggirl
blotter Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 I'm almost convinced the OP is a troll or something, trying to get people worked up about a fake story. If not, you have to be one of the most clueless and deranged people this poor girl could have given a chance to date. Restraining orders and visits from the police will be in your future.
geegirl Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks for the replies. I text her saying "hey, I'm having lunch at your pizza place across the street tomorrow. If I see you there don't worry, I won't try to talk to you :)" She replied "Why would you travel 10 miles just to get some pizza?" I havent replied yet. What should I say? This is the first time iv had any proper conversation with her since we split. I want to keep it light hearted! It's no wonder all your past girlfriends stayed away from you after the breakup. I can only imagine how you obsessed, stalked and drained them mentally and emotionally. You call this a proper conversation? She's gnawing on her fingernails wondering WTF you're driving all the way there for pizza. I wonder if you're just trolling because no one can be this delusional. In any case, I'd love to know what happens tomorrow.
Mindfr3ak Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 It's no wonder all your past girlfriends stayed away from you after the breakup. I can only imagine how you obsessed, stalked and drained them mentally and emotionally. You call this a proper conversation? She's gnawing on her fingernails wondering WTF you're driving all the way there for pizza. I wonder if you're just trolling because no one can be this delusional. In any case, I'd love to know what happens tomorrow. I agree with you,and to answer your question-she is probably gonna call the police on him if he continues like this.
Gulf-Delta Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Thanks for the replies. I text her saying "hey, I'm having lunch at your pizza place across the street tomorrow. If I see you there don't worry, I won't try to talk to you :)" She replied "Why would you travel 10 miles just to get some pizza?" I havnt replied yet. What should I say? This is the first time iv had any proper conversation with her since we split. I want to keep it light hearted! What the hell? O__o I know I post some sad **** here, but please, someone tell me I'm not that bad.
Eddie Edirol Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 My dating history varies- I'm 34 now and I had my first real girlfriend around the time my Dad walked out on us around 18. Him leaving had an impact on me so I got out of that relationship quick. My next girlfriend was when I was 23. I loved the girl but she cheated on me and left after around 3 years. I tried my hardest to win her back but she dosnt talk to me anymore. I had another relationship when I was 29 and got engaged after 2 months. She left after 8 months saying she didn't love me. Again I chased her and again, she won't talk to me anymore. Then - had a relationship when I was 31 which lasted 8 months. She left me one day without saying goodbye and wouldn't return any of my calls or texts. I don't know if she left for another guy or not but I never saw her again. This girl is different though, I can feel it. This girl is different to you, but you arent different to her. You believe in fate because you have no idea what you are doing to drive these women away from you. You need to do some research about dating dynamics and what women want, and only then you will find out why romantic gestures do not work on a woman that has lost all of her attraction to you. One of those dynamics is this : If you tell her you love her and she doesnt say it back, you already lost the game. Your best bet now, if she will still talk to you, is to stop trying to get back with her, and ask her what you did to lose her attraction so you can learn for your future relationships.
lalalandman Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 I just think it's funny that everyone is taking this dude seriously. I'm pretty sure his next log is going to read "You just got Punk'd!"
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