rosie72 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) Its been a while since i posted on here. In the last few months my ex and i have started to become 'friends' again. (We were together 10 years and have a child. He left me, a mid-life crisis for sure. And he cheated on me.) But its not doing me any good. I dont know whether he still feels for me or not. He hangs out here with our kid, he doesnt take him to his new place, i cook him dinner sometimes. We all went out for the day and he bought us all a meal. He asked me for lunch, has started putting kisses on his texts. He phones me up for advice, and wants to discuss his life and plans. But we dont ever mention 'us', or the break up. Now i am being naive to think he wants me back, he probably doesnt. But the thing is, all this niceness from him and 'friendship' is doing me in. Its making me move backwards, and start hoping we'll get back together. It makes me so sad. The tears and playing of adele songs has started up again! (yeah i know, its terrible lol) What should i do? I wonder if i should just tell him how i feel, basically be honest, and tell him its all or nothing, that i still love him, but if he doesnt want me then he can't have me in this weird friend limbo. I would take him back if he wanted to try again. I feel like ive forgiven him. But Its like he's just hanging on to the security of being with me, but he doesnt know how badly its hurting me. I dont WANT to stop seeing him and hanging out, as i do feel for him a lot still and we still enjoy each others company, but would it be best to cut him off? It would be the hardest thing ever to say that to him. We would still have to communicate because of our child, but it could be a LOT more minimal. It will be a very hard thing to tell him but should i do it? Please help, im really tying myself up in knots about this EDIT: also.. my pride would make it hard to tell him to stay away - i kind of dont want him to know that i want him still. I also dont want to get back 'into' all of that stuff.. hmm i dunno.. Edited May 1, 2012 by rosie72
Chacha8 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Wow, this sounds like a tough situation. I feel for you. I noticed that you said a couple of different times that it feels like the situation is setting you back and making you sad. Love shouldn't feel like that. It should make you feel good and help you grow as a person. It sounds as if he may be giving you mixed signals too. It may be necessary to have the 'all or nothing' talk with him, for your own emotional well being and be prepared that he may not give you the answer your heart wants. It may not be what you want, but it may be what you need. I hope things get better. I can really sense the hurt you are feeling in your post. 1
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