Divorced and Broken

[pattob]

Really havent had much time to read many other posts, but having a real hard time coping with a divorce. Its been over a year since weve divorced and two years since we separated. I feel as though it should not take so long, Ive tried many self formulated coping methods, and nothing seems to work. I got married young, made some stupid regrettable decisions, and my wife chose to leave the relationship, and nobody i meet, nothing i do fills that giant hole i feel i have in my heart. This **** sucks. Coping methods included therapy, exercise, and at my worst time... included drinking, gambling, drugs. Just would like some feedback on how people coped and healthy ways to cope with sucj loss.

Thanks ...

Pat

[health]

There are no quick fixes - and time alone does not heal wounds.

 

It's all about growth and improvement in all aspects of life I've learned.

 

It's been over 3 years since my break up.

 

Sometimes I still think of her - but it's just cause I recently

got triggered looking at her photos etc.

 

I say just keep health, and keep busy on projects.

 

Talk to people, write out feelings.

 

Pick up the book rebuilding after your relationship ends.

 

It's tough man. Just keep at it. Long term happiness can only ever be attained from within anyway.

[Bradly]

I'm no expert but... But, I know how you feel. The thing that worked for me is to force yourself to laugh. Watch as many funny TV shows and movies as you can.. It causes some sort of chemical positive energy in your brain.

 

Go out and make new friends, walk up to to a girl and offer her a drink... If she says yes, then deliver it and walk away... If she's into you then she will come and talk to you... Just saying good luck!

[brokendreamz]

The one single biggest thing for me was to get out of my comfort zone.

 

I found that nothing could be as painful as when she left, so I did things that in the past I wouldn't have dreamt of. I don't mean crazy stuff, but just like going out with a big group of people (I was a bit on the reclusive side before) or learning to box.

 

Whatever scares you confront it - then you'll find yourself thinking about that rather than them and when you overcome a fear or achieve something new, it kinda feels like another layer of pain is being stripped away and replaced with new life.

 

I also started to prcatice Mindful Meditation and wasprescribed anti depressants which seemed to really help.

 

This is a rubbish time mate but I am beginning to realise that pretty much everyone goes through it. I am a better and stronger person for it even if it does still hurt... Especially when I was told she'd marrying the guy she left me for after a year and a half (we were together 8 years!).

 

It's a big old mountain to climb and it will take time, just try to make each step count, don't get too down when a peice of news knocks you back a few steps and remember, the view from the top will be amazine.

[pattob]

Guys, thanks for the support, its been real hard, Ive been separated for two years today, and maybe thats got me a little sentimental, I screwed up my marriage, and had a chance to reconcile, but was too proud at the time to try to make it work, and thats why at times im full of regret and remorse, but Im doing alot better, but gots a ways to go. Brokendreamz I feel ya pain my ex left me and found someone about 6 months after and is getting married and is pregnant with a kid from that guy....im trying but its hard

[brokendreamz]

Pattob. I know I've got the whole kid thing coming too... She always wanted kids and I know she'll be an amazing Mum.

 

I'm trying too and you are right. It is hard.

 

Good luck

[pattob]

The whole kid coming was heartbreaking, and the no contact that ensued thereafter was tough, but its more manageable now. I havent had contact for about 3 months and it helps, but thoughts of how she is doing always creep on my mind... guess this is part of the process though , right?