TheSingleGuy Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 My ex-wife divorced me 5 years ago. I was a horrible huband, but at the time didn't realize it. I have since gone through tons of self improvement with heavy emphasis on trying to understand what women want and expect from men. Also, and I think this is a tremendous part of it, but I've learned how to give women massive orgasms. Since the divorce, there have been 4 girlfriends. The first two lasted exactly 6 months and then they were dumped. The first two girls liked me but I wouldn't say they were madly in love with me. So now I've improved myself to this point, I don't even recognize myself from 5 years ago. The ex-girlfriend was madly in love with me. I've never had a girl fall that hard for me. Ever. Not even close. But I broke up with her anyway, due primarily to commitment-phobe issues. Now, I've been dating a new girl for 10 months and she's fallen for me just hard as the ex-girlfriend. The love I felt for the ex-girlfriend and this current girlfriend is way stronger than the way I felt for the first two girls, the ex-wife or any girlfriends prior. I think it's because of how hard they've fallen for me. This may sound really, really arrogant, but I think I could make the next girl fall just as hard for me as these last two. I don't think this has a friggin' thing to do with "fate" or "destiny" or any of that Disney bull$hit. It's strictly a function of me being a better man. I've behaved (more) the way women want men to behave, and that's why they've fallen so hard for me. I also think my ability to make them orgasm very strong has a lot to do with this. A huge part of me wants to attempt the next "challenge". But then I look at the current girlfriend, I don't want to hurt her and I think I could be perfectly happy with her forever. But that's the scary part. Forever is a long time. Right now, she says she gets butterflies in her tummy when she's around me. She says she gets wet just thinking about me. Same way with the ex-girlfriend. She says she's never felt this way before. What happens when these butterflies go away? So sometimes I think this is a function of me. Had I not done all this work to improve myself, there's no way these last two women would have fallen so hard for me. I'm perfectly happy with the girlfriend I have now, I love her to death. But there's such a huge part of me that just wants to move on to the next girl to see if it's a really function of me and my self improvement. I don't know what to do.
TigerCub Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I'm perfectly happy with the girlfriend I have now, I love her to death. But there's such a huge part of me that just wants to move on to the next girl to see if it's a really function of me and my self improvement. That's just your fear of commitment talking. Instead of admitting to yourself that you are afraid to actually pursue something serious with this girl and risk getting hurt, you're convincing yourself that it would be funner to see how many girls you can make fall for you. 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Fear of committment is actually a rational thing. Committment is to stay with someone through the toughest times. That includes if they cheat on you. Few people are willing to pledge themselves to committment. As a result, the majority of people who would scorn or deride you for being a "committment phobe" are hypocrites. 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 My ex-wife divorced me 5 years ago. I was a horrible huband, but at the time didn't realize it. I have since gone through tons of self improvement with heavy emphasis on trying to understand what women want and expect from men. Also, and I think this is a tremendous part of it, but I've learned how to give women massive orgasms. Since the divorce, there have been 4 girlfriends. The first two lasted exactly 6 months and then they were dumped. The first two girls liked me but I wouldn't say they were madly in love with me. So now I've improved myself to this point, I don't even recognize myself from 5 years ago. The ex-girlfriend was madly in love with me. I've never had a girl fall that hard for me. Ever. Not even close. But I broke up with her anyway, due primarily to commitment-phobe issues. Now, I've been dating a new girl for 10 months and she's fallen for me just hard as the ex-girlfriend. The love I felt for the ex-girlfriend and this current girlfriend is way stronger than the way I felt for the first two girls, the ex-wife or any girlfriends prior. I think it's because of how hard they've fallen for me. This may sound really, really arrogant, but I think I could make the next girl fall just as hard for me as these last two. I don't think this has a friggin' thing to do with "fate" or "destiny" or any of that Disney bull$hit. It's strictly a function of me being a better man. I've behaved (more) the way women want men to behave, and that's why they've fallen so hard for me. I also think my ability to make them orgasm very strong has a lot to do with this. A huge part of me wants to attempt the next "challenge". But then I look at the current girlfriend, I don't want to hurt her and I think I could be perfectly happy with her forever. But that's the scary part. Forever is a long time. Right now, she says she gets butterflies in her tummy when she's around me. She says she gets wet just thinking about me. Same way with the ex-girlfriend. She says she's never felt this way before. What happens when these butterflies go away? So sometimes I think this is a function of me. Had I not done all this work to improve myself, there's no way these last two women would have fallen so hard for me. I'm perfectly happy with the girlfriend I have now, I love her to death. But there's such a huge part of me that just wants to move on to the next girl to see if it's a really function of me and my self improvement. I don't know what to do. Someone bought The Sex God Method.......... I kid, I kid..... Honestly in what I have seen, I think that once you have accepted yourself flaws and all, and add improvements to yourself, it's easy for quite a few girls to fall for you in any capacity. The orgasms will most likely be a huge part of that too . However, as things stand, as much as you make these women feel good, you are scratching the surface of what you could feel if you allow yourself to connect with these women. At some point, you will have to take the plunge, why not with this girl? This is something you will have to reconcile alone I'd imagine. I'm just a young man so I am yet to reach your level of experience in life, but our growth is all different and stimulated differently. Try and figure out how to conquer your fear.
ThaWholigan Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Fear of committment is actually a rational thing. Committment is to stay with someone through the toughest times. That includes if they cheat on you. Few people are willing to pledge themselves to committment. As a result, the majority of people who would scorn or deride you for being a "committment phobe" are hypocrites. TO an extent, yes. But honestly, don't you think some risks are worth taking?
xxoo Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Pretty arrogant, yes. But I also hear a lot of fear. Maybe false bravado to cover for the fear of being left again, after the butterflies wear off? We don't get infinite opportunities to partner with someone really wonderful. If you piss away the best relationships of your life, you will probably regret it.
TigerCub Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Fear of committment is actually a rational thing. Committment is to stay with someone through the toughest times. That includes if they cheat on you. Few people are willing to pledge themselves to committment. As a result, the majority of people who would scorn or deride you for being a "committment phobe" are hypocrites. Why would commitment be expected then? If person A cheats on person B - Person A already broke the commitment - therefore, person B isn't expected to carry on like the original commitment contract/expectation is valid.
verhrzn Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It is not impressive to make awesome girls fall for you over a span of less than a year over and over again. That's just lust and new-relationship hormones. It is much more impressive to get the same woman to feel consistent and deep love for you over a long period of time. THAT is a true sign that you have become a better man. 1
snug.bunny Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It is not impressive to make awesome girls fall for you over a span of less than a year over and over again. That's just lust and new-relationship hormones. It is much more impressive to get the same woman to feel consistent and deep love for you over a long period of time. THAT is a true sign that you have become a better man. Good point verhrzn, but, OP's version/idea of self improvement equates to the number of women who find him sexually desirable versus ONE woman he loves and is 100% committed to. Though, I don't see how going from a *****y husband to a shi*ty boyfriend, really qualifies as "self-improvement". Then again, each of us measure things differently. He's not in a commitment frame of mind it would seem, so, he should just be single and bed as many women as possible. 1
FitChick Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I'm perfectly happy with the girlfriend I have now, I love her to death. But there's such a huge part of me that just wants to move on to the next girl to see if it's a really function of me and my self improvement. What if it isn't? What if you end up like so many on here who complain they can't find a decent woman? You know that saying about "A bird in the hand...?"
Oxy Moronovich Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 TO an extent, yes. But honestly, don't you think some risks are worth taking? They are only worth taking if you're willing to see them all the way through. Why would commitment be expected then? If person A cheats on person B - Person A already broke the commitment - therefore, person B isn't expected to carry on like the original commitment contract/expectation is valid. Commitment does not=monogamy. You can be committed to your partner but still be polygamous. And you can be monogamous but not be committed. Thus, my argument still stands.
dasein Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 What if it isn't? What if you end up like so many on here who complain they can't find a decent woman? You know that saying about "A bird in the hand...?" Agree with the above. Don't play fast and loose with good opportunities, they are limited. Banking on "the next one" if you have one who is behaving well is risky business. I had one who behaved well several women back and none of the ones subsequent, about five of them, have lasted longer than a few months before the antics and bad behavior start. Good luck.
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You're letting things get a little bit to your head yes, you kind of come off now like "you've got it all figured out" however you might not outright admit that but think "Well I don't think I'm perfect but I've come along way and think that women are highly into me..." to kind of give off the impression that you're not letting yourself get a big head over it, which in your writing is easy to detect. I've been down your road before, but like I tell everyone when it comes to love is that nobody escapes unscathed so be careful what you do to others...there is a certain karma about life, it knows how to hit you and humble you in a moments notice, so always keep that in mind. Could you make other women fall for you? I'm sure you can, in fact a lot of men out there do, is that because of your awesome ability? not as much as you think, It's more to do with how women perceive things and what they pick up as genuine and sincerity from a man, however If you read these forums you can tell that many have a hard time telling what's real from what's words, and that's normal as well. So what I'm basically saying Is if women weren't a certain way, then you still wouldn't be successful as you think you would...they're the ones that open the door to being in love and wanting a man and to be satisfied, the majority of the time that's all in a woman's head not that you're doing anything particularly extraordinary, these women are looking for men to complete their lives in a particular way and are looking for someone who looks close enough to doing that, so If they weren't like that then men wouldn't have it so easy. Also the fact that you give women orgasms is another way of tooting your own horn, for women it's very much also an emotional and psychological factor, not just physical. It's only after you..for example, of being with someone else who takes them to a bigger high do they realize that there is something more intense out there...what you give these women may be the best to their experience but there are men out there who can even take it to the level beyond that...however that is their experience, and their experience is satisfied and is that way because they are into you. They're not necessarily thinking in a comparative realm when they are with their current man if they're into him like men can and will more be aware and considerate of that mindset. The fact that you love this current woman and are completely satisfied with her should be enough for you...however I don't think you've matured and got "your fill" enough to settle on one woman right now...now that you think you have a handle on the situation of dating and having women fall in love you its become some sort of redemptive feeling associated with it and also you've feel like you've all around become a much better man...so you likely need to move forward from this relationship if that is something that plagues your mind...It is also until you end up on the losing end and hurt by someone you care about more than she cares about you (trust me she's out there) will you be humbled back (as they say the higher you climb, the harder the fall) and then you might want to turn back the clock and run back into the arms of one of these women who loved you...just remember the arms on the clock don't turn backwards, so make your decisions wisely, but also be honest with yourself, sometimes we need to get burned by the fire so our mind realizes that It's not who we want to be, what we really are, and shows us what we're really looking for and need.
Author TheSingleGuy Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 I appreciate everyone taking the time to read and comment and I do understand what you guys are saying. When I look back at the ex-girlfriend, at the times that I was trying to figure out, do I stay and marry her or do I go... I honestly thought I'd never meet another one as good as her. But I have. And now I'm going through the very same thoughts with this one. Yes, I was always the guy who, in high school and college, struggled massively with women. I married my ex-wife because, like a lot of guys, I didn't want to be alone and felt that if I didn't stick with her, it could be months or even years before I'd find another woman who'd be willing to sleep with me. Guess that makes me a pretty normal guy. Women in my past have done some really ****ty and hurtful things to me and prior to my divorce, I had only broken up with one girl. All the rest were them dumping me. And we won't count all the women I've pursued who were uninterested. So now all these self improvements come together like a perfect storm. I know that if I leave this girl, it won't be long before another comes along. That's a massive change in thinking from five years ago. So is this new "ability" of me being able to get women to fall madly in love with me a "skill", and they can be easily replaced, or is it chance & luck??? Women DEMAND a man who knows how to treat a woman. That's why 70 to 90 percent of all breakups and divorces are the desire of the woman. But we men aren't born knowing these things. In order to be better with women, we have to get experience somewhere. And I guess that means some women get hurt along the way. I look around at all these couples who look bored as hell with each other. They sit across from each other in restaurants and you can just tell there's nothing to talk about because they already live together and already know everything there is to know about each other. How can being married and living together possibly be as much fun as getting to know someone new? Would I choose a string of 9 to 15 month girlfriends over the next ten years or marriage? I guess that's the question I must answer for myself.
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