I'm Devastated!! Ex got Pregnant!!

May 2, 2012

Having a baby with someone you barely know is a bad idea period! She must be in the honeymoon phase.

May 2, 2012

How is breaking up with someone selfish and immature?

Breaking up / ending a relationship when you no longer want to be with someone is mature, selfless and the right thing to do.

What's the alternative?

Stay with them even though you don't want too?

Breaking up and getting knocked up immediately after is immature and stupid.

There are emotions in each relationship, you live as one for a period of time and after you break up you need time first to detangle, to find yourself again and to heal regardless if dumper or a dumpee.

May 2, 2012

I'm 35 years old, ex-girlfriend (25 years old) of 5 years broke up with me in Jan. this year (2012). To protect myself I initiated N.C. I know I love her deeply, and hope we can get back together in the future. We had brief text exchanges since, saw her three times since breakup; all from her initiating the meeting. Now it's May, we meet again, and she dropped the bomb, "She's Pregnant" with a new guy that she just met. She wants to keep the baby and plan to married the guy....

I am devastated!! I feel like my life was robbed. In my mind, I'm suppose to be the guy marrying her and having kids with her. And now it all vanishes in the air. The worst part is that it happened so soon since our break up. I don't know how to cope with this now. Back in January when she first broke up with me, i cling on to a slight hope in my mind that perhaps in future things can work out again. It is that slight hope helped me to cope and carried me through these tough months. It is that slight hope that enable me to fall asleep at night. And now that slight of hope is completely gone. I don't know what to do... I don't want to do anything stupid like hurting myself to get out of misery...but i can't think of anything to make myself feel better... somebody please shed some lights...

I am hurt beyond any words. In my mind, I was suppose to be the one she's marrying. I feel like my life was robbed. Here I am working on our relationship for the last five years, and some jerk just walked in last minute and robbed it out of my hand. I hate myself for not popping the question early.... She tells me she still loves me, but can't goes through with aborting, she admits the jerk is a rebound...but too late now...helpless

May 2, 2012

I am hurt beyond any words. In my mind, I was suppose to be the one she's marrying. I feel like my life was robbed. Here I am working on our relationship for the last five years, and some jerk just walked in last minute and robbed it out of my hand. I hate myself for not popping the question early.... She tells me she still loves me, but can't goes through with aborting, she admits the jerk is a rebound...but too late now...helpless

Have you been in recent contact with her? If so it needs to cease. If she wants to get knocked up by some dude she doesn't even know and wants to marry him then tell her to focus on that and leave you to your wounds.

It's also pretty strange that this happened right around the time you two broken up. Most women out there are very conscious about what man they procreate with. Are you sure she wasn't seeing this dude while you two were still together? How was her behavior around that time? Did it suddenly change?

May 2, 2012

You see no fault in your own actions yet you are quick to point out fault in others and lay fault in all directions but your own. If you werent such a bitter ass clown throughout your marriage and afterwards you would be ok.

You knew better with your ex, you told yourself that, yet you were 32 and she was 21, you made a dumb mistake. Stop projecting your mistakes onto other people act like a 40 year old and focus on your own life and not calling others immature because of your resentment to your ex.

This guys ex is 25 and maybe at 25 she wants a kid. Most women at 25 I know want to settle down and have kids. Its in their DNA.

Now you are calling names to someone's ex that obviously the OP is still in love with. You show no empathy or compassion. You are nothing but a bitter old man. Grow up

how can anyone take you seriously man?

you are telling this guy he's a bitter old man and to grow up, yet in my thread the other day you flat out made up your own assumptions about me and my ex, that were completely and utterly inaccurate in an attempt to villify me. and what's best, is when i call you out on it, you are completely ghost and in hiding. who's the immature bitter old man again?

it's time ppl start calling you on your bullsh-t wilson.

May 2, 2012

I am hurt beyond any words. In my mind, I was suppose to be the one she's marrying. I feel like my life was robbed. Here I am working on our relationship for the last five years, and some jerk just walked in last minute and robbed it out of my hand. I hate myself for not popping the question early.... She tells me she still loves me, but can't goes through with aborting, she admits the jerk is a rebound...but too late now...helpless

Dude, I know it hurts. But, this isn't your fault. NOT ONE BIT. This is the path she chosen for herself and whether it's right or wrong....it isn't your problem anymore. During your relationship with her she could have spoken up about what's bothering her. She could have asked where this relationship was going...having "the talk". You know, the laying all out there, from the heart kind of talk. She chosen not to and to walk away. Now, she finds herself in a pickle and its her OWN DOING!! You had nothing to do with her bad decisions.

But, here's the rub. She's going to have a family. SHe has to change her entire life. And do you know what? It's probably going to be very difficult for her as I don't see the relationship with her rebound working. She made this bed, now she has to lay in it. You can would have, should have, could have all day long....but, it's not going to change anything.

May 2, 2012

Have you been in recent contact with her? If so it needs to cease. If she wants to get knocked up by some dude she doesn't even know and wants to marry him then tell her to focus on that and leave you to your wounds.

It's also pretty strange that this happened right around the time you two broken up. Most women out there are very conscious about what man they procreate with. Are you sure she wasn't seeing this dude while you two were still together? How was her behavior around that time? Did it suddenly change?

the timing is too soon and close... but she said they first got together in Feb, we broke up begin of Jan.

May 3, 2012

I'm 35 years old, ex-girlfriend (25 years old) of 5 years broke up with me in Jan. this year (2012). To protect myself I initiated N.C. I know I love her deeply, and hope we can get back together in the future. We had brief text exchanges since, saw her three times since breakup; all from her initiating the meeting. Now it's May, we meet again, and she dropped the bomb, "She's Pregnant" with a new guy that she just met. She wants to keep the baby and plan to married the guy....

I am devastated!! I feel like my life was robbed. In my mind, I'm suppose to be the guy marrying her and having kids with her. And now it all vanishes in the air. The worst part is that it happened so soon since our break up. I don't know how to cope with this now. Back in January when she first broke up with me, i cling on to a slight hope in my mind that perhaps in future things can work out again. It is that slight hope helped me to cope and carried me through these tough months. It is that slight hope that enable me to fall asleep at night. And now that slight of hope is completely gone. I don't know what to do... I don't want to do anything stupid like hurting myself to get out of misery...but i can't think of anything to make myself feel better... somebody please shed some lights...

I feel my soul has left my body, I'm unable to feel anything. I walk around the streets feeling like a zombie. I'm unable to concentrate at work, I can't register anything I read. I can't fall asleep at night. I know I need to move on and forget about the whole thing and her, but I still have feelings, I can't just turn it off.

For now I just want to fall asleep, what can I do to fall asleep? night times are so terrible, the past few nights I laid in bed wide awake, flipping from side to side, it's driving me crazy!

May 3, 2012

To fall asleep I used valerian (herbal caps).

It is going to get better with time.

I know that feeling bro, it is like someone close died.

It is not your fault, you should solely do things for you now and do things you like. Pick up a new hobby, try to go out.

May 3, 2012

Damn I know how this feels, I have been through it twice. First was with my ex that brought me to loveshack back in 2005, second was with the ex that brought me back here in 2008.

Although both of them hurt like hell, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, because BOTH of them getting knocked up put the final nail in the coffin!! I knew I could no longer be with either of them, that we were no longer possible, plus I don't even date women with kids to begin with. So this actually made me lose feelings completely for both, because I don't see them as romantic interest anymore. At first it did hurt and it felt like someone had ripped my liver from my body, couldn't breathe right, but after 1 week I got over it, because I did know that I didn't want these women back, that my self-esteem and ego had only been hurt.

Now here is the thing, you know how sometimes a EX might finally come back around to wanting to get back together????? YOU GUESSED IT!! They both wanted me back, they both are single moms know. It's so stupid because it took them getting knocked up by another guy to see what we had was special???? Now things can never be the same.

So yes I did actually get the chance to get both ex's back but it was only when I no longer wanted them.

Use these as fuel to get over them, come on, you want to start your own family don't ya?? You don't want her after this.

May 3, 2012

^^^^^^blahahaha!

Ya man, imagine if you did get her back. Would you really want to be banging that big ole baby body??

NO!

May 3, 2012

^^^^^^blahahaha!

Ya man, imagine if you did get her back. Would you really want to be banging that big ole baby body??

NO!

That's not very kind.

May 3, 2012

^^^^^^blahahaha!

Ya man, imagine if you did get her back. Would you really want to be banging that big ole baby body??

NO!

I'm losing faith in men.

May 3, 2012

EXACTLY MAN!!!! What the last 2 posters said.

Why get that old beat up car thats only gonna give you problems down the line, when you can get you a NEW, clean car, with no dents, lol.

I been on Loveshack since 2005, and till the day I can't say if NO-CONTACT ever really helped me get over a girl, why?? Because they both HELPED me get over them, if it wasn't for them getting knocked up (which I find the most unattractive thing in the world), I would probably still be in love with them.

And to me, I have nothing against women with kids, I will be there best friend, love them, take them out, but I want my OWN family, and take it a step further, she had the chance to have your kids but she choose to let another man have that.

Now granted, you are 35, and I'm 22, so I probably got a much better chance at finding a girl with no kids, but it's just the principle that she did have a chance to give you a kid, but she choose not to.

Which is why I turned down BOTH my exs, imagine if you guys were to get back together, every time you see that baby, everytime you have sex, see her, your gonna think and be reminded of how it took her getting knocked up to see what she really wants.

Why does it take all of that to see how great of a guy you are??? Well it took both my exs exactly "all that".

May 3, 2012

LasVegasGuy,

did both of your ex got knocked up soon after you broke up? In my case, I feel so obliterated because it happened so soon. If it was after some reasonable amount of time than I would probably be less destructed.

I can't believe that you're only 22 and this happened to you twice already. After the first time, did you though of some ways to prevent the same thing from happening. I know it's out of your control, but did you though about perhaps there are something you could of said or done? In my case, she was the one that broke up with me, I though to myself, during the talk, if only I tell her to "at least give it some time in between for the sake of respect before seeing anyone new". Maybe this can be done for future cases.

When you found out that they were pregnant, did you ever though of telling them to get rid of the kids? cause in that case they can still be with you without the baggage. I know this question will effected by personal believes.

When both of your ex were running back to you, were your heart at least partly moved or was it cold as stone? I'm afraid I'll be weak if it happens.

Edited May 3, 2012 by biscwa

May 3, 2012

LasVegasGuy,

did both of your ex got knocked up soon after you broke up? In my case, I feel so obliterated because it happened so soon. If it was after some reasonable amount of time than I would probably be less destructed.

I can't believe that you're only 22 and this happened to you twice already. After the first time, did you though of some ways to prevent the same thing from happening. I know it's out of your control, but did you though about perhaps there are something you could of said or done? In my case, she was the one that broke up with me, I though to myself, during the talk, if only I tell her to "at least give it some time in between for the sake of respect before seeing anyone new". Maybe this can be done for future cases.

When you found out that they were pregnant, did you ever though of telling them to get rid of the kids? cause in that case they can still be with you without the baggage. I know this question will effected by moral believes.

When both of your ex were running back to you, were your heart at least partly moved or was it cold as stone? I'm afraid I'll be weak if it happens.

The first ex that originally brought me to loveshack in 2005, got pregnant maybe a year after we had broken up, during this time my feeling were still FRESH, I was still plotting and planning on how I can make her love me again, and get back to her.

And BAM, a mutual friend of hers and mines told me she was pregnant, it did hurt at first the few 2 hours, and then I was over it, I was no longer hurt, no longer missing her. Later that year I began receiving facebook messages from her, text messages from her as she had gotten my "new number" from our mutual friend, and I did not want her back, I was cold as ice, I would not even respond to her.

My second ex that brought me back in 2008, got pregnant 2 years after we broke up, I was still in love with her, she still called me every few weeks to months to catch up, only giving me breadcrumbs.

I then go to her FACEBOOK one day and found out that she was pregnant. I got over it in a week.

Now I still do miss her as a friend (we were friends for 5 years before we dated), as I have been making threads about lately, but I don't want her back as a life partner.

I was pretty blatant with her also, I had no interest in getting back together with her, I was like it took you all of this to want me back???

I took this as a blessing man, It made me lose all hope, plus all attraction for these women.

May 3, 2012

LasVegasGuy,

did both of your ex got knocked up soon after you broke up? In my case, I feel so obliterated because it happened so soon. If it was after some reasonable amount of time than I would probably be less destructed.

I can't believe that you're only 22 and this happened to you twice already. After the first time, did you though of some ways to prevent the same thing from happening. I know it's out of your control, but did you though about perhaps there are something you could of said or done? In my case, she was the one that broke up with me, I though to myself, during the talk, if only I tell her to "at least give it some time in between for the sake of respect before seeing anyone new". Maybe this can be done for future cases.

When you found out that they were pregnant, did you ever though of telling them to get rid of the kids? cause in that case they can still be with you without the baggage. I know this question will effected by personal believes.

When both of your ex were running back to you, were your heart at least partly moved or was it cold as stone? I'm afraid I'll be weak if it happens.

And no, I never told them to get rid of the kids, heck that killed all emotions that I had for them, so them getting rid of there kids was not gonna fix that, it was always gonna be in the back of my mind.

May 3, 2012

But dude I was plan heartless against the first one, it's just that she had the nerve to try running back to me after everything she had put me through, after all the times I tried to get back with her, and now she wanted me back??

I was at her job, she worked for Wal-Mart and she tried coming up to me and talking to me and I wouldn't respond to her, I ignored her like she was invisible.

So mines weren't as fresh as your breakups, but as you can tell by loveshack and personal life experiences, that it might take some people a few years to get over certain breakups, especially first loves.

May 3, 2012

I think if it was 1-2 years, I'll be able to accept it better. But it's only been months, she started being with him less than 2 months into our break up.

During the last few months (before knowing this news), I didn't even look at another women. Even just the thoughts of being close to another women was beyond me. I had absolute zero interest in another women. I guess this is why I feel so destroyed.

May 3, 2012

Dude, If you're having a hard time coping and sleeping, go see your Doctor to get you some meds to get you through this.

May 3, 2012

Do you have a family you can cry on? It helped me a lot when I talked to my older cousins about it.

May 3, 2012

I think if it was 1-2 years, I'll be able to accept it better. But it's only been months, she started being with him less than 2 months into our break up.

During the last few months (before knowing this news), I didn't even look at another women. Even just the thoughts of being close to another women was beyond me. I had absolute zero interest in another women. I guess this is why I feel so destroyed.

I think your situation is even better, you don't have to wait 2 years to move on, you can do it now!!! Right now your self esteem is hurt, "this guy seeded your women" you are feeling hurt and lost because your thinking why not me.

But trust me man, luckily you did find out about this within a short time.

Most of the time the pain we experience after a breakup, is not really the hurt of love, but the hurt of a blow being landed to our self esteem.

May 3, 2012

Seeded your woman? LOL! I never heard it put quiet like that....

But, see your Doctor for a sleep aid and antidepressants. They exist for a reason and there's no shame in it.

May 3, 2012

Seeded your woman? LOL! I never heard it put quiet like that....

But, see your Doctor for a sleep aid and antidepressants. They exist for a reason and there's no shame in it.

Lmao, hey, it doesn't sound so good, but it the truth.

May 3, 2012

I think your situation is even better, you don't have to wait 2 years to move on, you can do it now!!! Right now your self esteem is hurt, "this guy seeded your women" you are feeling hurt and lost because your thinking why not me.

But trust me man, luckily you did find out about this within a short time.

Most of the time the pain we experience after a breakup, is not really the hurt of love, but the hurt of a blow being landed to our self esteem.

Can't blame it all on the dude...She accepted the seeding, lOL

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