Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 (edited) Animals do SUCH things. The spotted leopard and red wolf-the males-are KNOWN for sticking with their female partner and sharing the risks in raising their young. You are making ignorant assumptions based on very populist research for the reasons against monogamy. Frankly, monogamy is the norm and has been since humans started. If it wasn't we(males) would have scales on our penis to fight invaders sperm in the female. But we don't. And why? Because humans are monogamous creatures. Lack of character does not mean everyone lacks character. Also, not being monogamous does not mean you lack character. Cheating and deception means you lack character. Being open and honest with a partner about a desire for more sexual partners is not deceptive and is not an afront on your character. This is how we find partners that are compatable to our own unique needs. But anyway we are getting off topic with our lil convo....the original topic was, do people agree or disagree that women are 'better' cheaters? Edited May 2, 2012 by Nikki Sahagin
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Women are better than men at hiding cheating with one very notable exception. PLAYERS ARE MASTERS AT HIDING CHEATING. They can have several relationships at once and each lady assumes they are exclusive. Very true. Some people never even know they have been cheated on.
threebyfate Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Well I swing between introversion and extroversion depending on who i'm around and if i'm comfortable. I don't see myself as detatched at all. In sex particularly i'm very involved but it doesn't mean in the morning the feeling will be there. With my first bf it was, but then I had a strong emotional bond to him prior to sex. With my second, there was amazing sex, but no emotional bond...weirdly, because he was emotionally bonded to me and wanted to cuddle etc, but I just didn't. With the third, amazing sex, but again...no strong need to be anything long term after the sex. I just enjoyed it for what it was. I think a lot of bonding that goes on during sex depends on the bonding before the sex i.e. if you feel strongly attached/emotionally involved before you've had sex, chances are the sex will strengthen that. If you feel strong attraction but no strong emotional bond, the sex won't necessarily create that.Now that you've written out your pattern, don't you see what's going on? Classic defense mechanisms in action.
mesmerized Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I agree with this 100%. You can find out a woman's cheating easily by her behavior: her acting cold or quarrelsome toward you and trying to start fights over petty things. When guys are dating, they are not big on noticing their girl's behavior. However, when guys are married, they notice their wife's behavior a lot. They notice the drastic change in behavior and become much more aware. Why? Because now that he's paying for her in the marriage, he's keeping tab on her to make sure it is worth it. I've heard many stories about unfaithful wives and how they get caught real quick. I've heard an equal amount of stories about unfaithful husbands who cheat for years (even over a decade) without their wives knowing. I'd say women are easy to spot when their cheating. Cheating is an emotional experience for them and their behavior is too obvious. Her man will see it and only blind himself, so it may look like he never knew. On the other hand, guys can be hard to spot when they are cheating. Men cheat with detachment and still treat their women like they do when they are faithful. Spot on. I had a few friends recently who quickly got busted. I think they hide it better because people don't suspect it. Men always get the bad rap when it comes to cheating when in reality women are just as bad. They get away with it because women in many ways are still seen as innocent victims. Well, let's not lie to ourselves here. According to most people here, women can cheat much easier if they want (more options) and yet men manage to cheat more (any kind of statistics read). Imagine what would happen if men had the same options women supposedly have? So yeah, we're not exactly just as bad.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Spot on. I had a few friends recently who quickly got busted. Well, let's not lie to ourselves here. According to most people here, women can cheat much easier if they want (more options) and yet men manage to cheat more (any kind of statistics read). Imagine what would happen if men had the same options women supposedly have? So yeah, we're not exactly just as bad. The statistics are just a result of not being caught plus being in a relationship makes a man much more attractive to women. Women are no better than men when it comes to these issues but some just like going on and on about how men are dogs.
mesmerized Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 The statistics are just a result of not being caught plus being in a relationship makes a man much more attractive to women. Women are no better than men when it comes to these issues but some just like going on and on about how men are dogs. surveys ask the participants if they cheated or not and not their spouses! You can choose to ignore them but it is what it is.
Radu Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Animals do SUCH things. The spotted leopard and red wolf-the males-are KNOWN for sticking with their female partner and sharing the risks in raising their young. You are making ignorant assumptions based on very populist research for the reasons against monogamy. Frankly, monogamy is the norm and has been since humans started. If it wasn't we(males) would have scales on our penis to fight invaders sperm in the female. But we don't. And why? Because humans are monogamous creatures. Lack of character does not mean everyone lacks character. Monogamy has not been the norm, it just became the norm. In many ways and for many ppl it can be better. It means there are 2 ppl interested in the wellbeing of the child, it means that you can grow deeper emotions. And the shape of our penis is designed to pull out the other man's sperm and insert our own. One very interesting aspect many of the cheating wives have noticed is that after they came clean (or were found out), their man quite frankly wanted to ravish them.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 surveys ask the participants if they cheated or not and not their spouses! You can choose to ignore them but it is what it is. Like most women will admit to it. Many will never give up the moral high ground on this issue because then they can't be so quick to call men dogs. I am not even saying that all women cheat or even most but when you add it all up they are no more loyal than men in general.
mesmerized Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Like most women will admit to it. Many will never give up the moral high ground on this issue because then they can't be so quick to call men dogs. I am not even saying that all women cheat or even most but when you add it all up they are no more loyal than men in general. Add what all up exactly? I think most women wouldn't refuse to admit it in an anonymous survey. Let me tell you this, every single woman I know who cheated was pretty much ok with her choice, they were hardly ashamed or felt really bad, I don't think admitting to something you even feel good about in an ananymous survey is something women wouldn't do.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Add what all up exactly? I think most women wouldn't refuse to admit it in an anonymous survey. Let me tell you this, every single woman I know who cheated was pretty much ok with her choice, they were hardly ashamed or felt really bad, I don't think admitting to something you even feel good about in an ananymous survey is something women wouldn't do. Female cheaters are either proud of it or it is a dirty little secret they have going. Any way you slice it they are no better than men. Why do women have such a hard time admitting that the male gender does not have a monopoly on being unfaithful?
mesmerized Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Female cheaters are either proud of it or it is a dirty little secret they have going. Any way you slice it they are no better than men. Why do women have such a hard time admitting that the male gender does not have a monopoly on being unfaithful? Don't put words in my mouth. I never said women don't cheat. A lot of women cheat. 40, 50 percent is still pretty damn high. BUT, men's tendency to cheat is certainly stronger or we wouldn't have more cheating men considering they have even less options.
persevere Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Very true. Some people never even know they have been cheated on. Ok. So how to nail down cheating? I suppose sometimes you just can't. I had an ex gf go on a business trip and not call for two days, because "she was tired". That was pretty obvious.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Don't put words in my mouth. I never said women don't cheat. A lot of women cheat. 40, 50 percent is still pretty damn high. BUT, men's tendency to cheat is certainly stronger or we wouldn't have more cheating men considering they have even less options. Any married man has options. You have no idea how easy it is for a married man to cheat. Some women will sleep with the most repulsive man you can find if he is taken. Anybody who wants to cheat can easily do so.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Ok. So how to nail down cheating? I suppose sometimes you just can't. I had an ex gf go on a business trip and not call for two days, because "she was tired". That was pretty obvious. When she starts distancing herself chances are there is sonebody else or she is eyeing somebody else.
DarkPrince Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I agree with this 100%. You can find out a woman's cheating easily by her behavior: her acting cold or quarrelsome toward you and trying to start fights over petty things. When guys are dating, they are not big on noticing their girl's behavior. However, when guys are married, they notice their wife's behavior a lot. They notice the drastic change in behavior and become much more aware. Why? Because now that he's paying for her in the marriage, he's keeping tab on her to make sure it is worth it. I've heard many stories about unfaithful wives and how they get caught real quick. I've heard an equal amount of stories about unfaithful husbands who cheat for years (even over a decade) without their wives knowing. I'd say women are easy to spot when their cheating. Cheating is an emotional experience for them and their behavior is too obvious. Her man will see it and only blind himself, so it may look like he never knew. On the other hand, guys can be hard to spot when they are cheating. Men cheat with detachment and still treat their women like they do when they are faithful. This is it right here. Women who cheat (unless they are moonlighting as prostitutes) have an emotional connection to the men they cheat with. In fact most women make it obvious as hell, which is why I get so pissed I allowed my wife's affair to happen. They talk about the guy non-stop, with a big ol smile plastered across their face whenever the guys name comes up. They get excited every time he comes around. They ignore you to be around him. I mean its so obvious that you'd have to be blind not to see it. Then when they finally have sex with the guy, they are an emotional roller coaster, and then they never want to talk about the guy. Cheating women make their guy feel like a 3rd wheel.
persevere Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 Female cheaters are either proud of it or it is a dirty little secret they have going. Any way you slice it they are no better than men. Why do women have such a hard time admitting that the male gender does not have a monopoly on being unfaithful? Exactly. A quick glance at a woman's publication or any other popular venue would have one believe it's dirtbag men doing all the cheating. Women are innocent flowers being taken for a ride. Bah.
snug.bunny Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 None of my female friends have cheated (at least, not that I am aware of). I have a family member who has, and she isn't shy to admit it. She told her then boyfriend she cheated on him after it happened. My experience as someone who has been cheated on, I was not told forthright, but instead after the woman called the house asking for my then boyfriend. Either he was extremely stupid, or, wanted me to find out. Who knows. So, those are some example statistics for you.
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