Pierre Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 This kit is indispensable for suspecting men. Semen Detection Test Semen Detection: [b-105] - $30.00 : Crime Scene, Forensic Supplies
Joaquin Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Didn't say that. What I'm disagreeing with is your reasoning for why men and women cheat and what's biologically "natural" to them. I didn't say biological. The use of the word natural was more in the context of inherent sense of right or wrong.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 Actually, some animal species mate for life, and only have one partner during their lifetime. True, but very few.
dasein Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I don't agree that one gender cheats more than the other. Seriously, how can you say that ... who do those ppl cheat with ? I don't know whether men or women cheat more, but just wanted to point out that if women did enter into harem type arrangements where they freely share the top quality roosters, pro athletes, celebs, rock stars, princes, superwealthy, it is completely conceivable that many could cheat with only a small percentage of others.
Pierre Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 True, but very few. If you are in love with a new partner. Are you OK with your mate having sex with others? I know quite well there is a swinging community, but this is generally in the later stages of the relationship.
Radu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Even in the swinging community they differentiate between cold/mechanical sex and feelings for spouse. In fact many spouses in that community claim to be thankfull they ended up with a partner that has the same interest. As weird as it may sound, they don't view it as cheating if it's within the rules established between themselves.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 If you are in love with a new partner. Are you OK with your mate having sex with others? I know quite well there is a swinging community, but this is generally in the later stages of the relationship. I'm not in a relationship so hard to say, but I am considering at the moment that polygomy is better for me at this point in time. In theory, i'd be fine with it. In practice, maybe not. I don't personally think sex and love are always connected. It's the deception that hurts the love, not necessarily outside sex.
KathyM Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 True, but very few. Well, I'd like to think humans are able to hold themselves to a higher standard than animals, and actually have thinking abilities and aspire to something more than animal behavior, but for some people, they don't aspire to anything more than giving in to any impulse they may have. 1
threebyfate Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 This kit is indispensable for suspecting men. Semen Detection Test Semen Detection: [b-105] - $30.00 : Crime Scene, Forensic SuppliesGood idea although this would only be significant if the real couple had stopped having sex for an extended length of time and laundered all their clothing, bed sheets and any linens, regularly. What is concerning is some guy getting evidence of his own semen since the test doesn't clearly explain what it's testing for, whether semen is live or dead, how long the semen has been on the piece of clothing or DNA evidence of who that semen might belong to. As an example: Couple has sex within a 24 - 72 hour period. The female partner sits on the bed where semen resides, whether live or dead and ends up with some semen on tested clothing or the female partner's vaginal secretions include SO's sperm from the prior 24 - 72 hour period.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 Well, I'd like to think humans are able to hold themselves to a higher standard than animals, and actually have thinking abilities and aspire to something more than animal behavior, but for some people, they don't aspire to anything more than giving in to any impulse they may have. Well that's why we have choices. Some choose monogamy, some polygamy and some choose the grey area of serial monogamy or having affairs or 'slip ups' or whatever you want to call it. We are all a mix of animal and evolved, so our behaviour can fall anywhere in between dependent on the person.
Woggle Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I know geese mate for life and I swear there is a cat couples by my house always walking with their kittens.
Radu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I had a cat couple like that. She was slightly older than him, and he died young ... eaten by dogs. But damn, they looked good together and they acted allright. They had nice kittens too. After he died, she continued to guard the territory they had (our house and the courtyard) and she became the scare of the entire street. She even beat up the neighbour's dog. The old male cats in the area still remember her, when she left with my parents and returned 3yrs later for vet appointment they literally all panicked and vacated the premises.
Woggle Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 They both live under the boardwalk and are very friendly since they are used to people. I have seen them eat right out of people's hands. If my cat wasn't so territorial I would adopt them.
manup Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Actually, some animal species mate for life, and only have one partner during their lifetime. Strict monogamy doesn't really exist in the animal world as many monogamous animals have flings. 1
manup Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I'm not in a relationship so hard to say, but I am considering at the moment that polygomy is better for me at this point in time. In theory, i'd be fine with it. In practice, maybe not. I don't personally think sex and love are always connected. It's the deception that hurts the love, not necessarily outside sex. Unless your brain is damages female and to a lesser extent male brains can't really separate the two. Unless you are a really high testosterone woman or have had so much sex with so many different people that your brain thinks all sex is loveless.
threebyfate Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Unless your brain is damages female and to a lesser extent male brains can't really separate the two. Unless you are a really high testosterone woman or have had so much sex with so many different people that your brain thinks all sex is loveless.These are aspects of socialization rather than biology, since biologically, male and female orgasms include the generation of oxytocin and dopamine. 1
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Unless your brain is damages female and to a lesser extent male brains can't really separate the two. Unless you are a really high testosterone woman or have had so much sex with so many different people that your brain thinks all sex is loveless. Hormones are released in both men and women that produce bonding, so men are not free from this either. You don't need to be damaged to be able to seperate love and sex. Sex for me always comes with 'like' but not necessarily love. I've only had 3 sexual partners so I've definitely not outdone myself there. Maybe it is testosterone...who knows? I've always thought I had a man brain.
persevere Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I think women are better at cheating. Far better. They have an inate ability to cover their tracks. They can be sweet, while coming up with some really believable excuses. I suppose, just like men, you have to watch for changes in the norm. Girls night out, getting home at 2am. No return to a text of two to see how they are doing? Out of town on business, and no call at all. No answer to your call later in the evening? Suspicious actions, lack of eye contact... I think we're about even now, with the cheating. Some "studies" show it is now more prevalent with women.
threebyfate Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I've only had 3 sexual partners so I've definitely not outdone myself there. Maybe it is testosterone...who knows? I've always thought I had a man brain.Different levels of testosterone impact on empathy but the book's still out on the full impacts of testosterone on pair bonding within women. As a guess, you're an introvert who uses detachment as a defense mechanism, whether it's linked to sex or not. Possibly a combination of nature and nurture, where introversion is the element of nature amongst other elements.
TheSingleGuy Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 It's definitely more prevalent with women. They are able to hide it better and often won't mention it to even their closest friends. Guys will almost always brag to at least someone. This thread hasn't even addressed the monthly cycle and how that effects women's sex drives.
FitChick Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I dated a divorced man who said he and his wife had been having problems for a while and had no sex for months. Suddenly she became very sexual and he thought, "Wow, this is great! Everything is finally getting better." She later confessed that she'd been having an affair and when she was really horny for the other guy, she had sex with him and pretended it was that guy.
persevere Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I dated a divorced man who said he and his wife had been having problems for a while and had no sex for months. Suddenly she became very sexual and he thought, "Wow, this is great! Everything is finally getting better." She later confessed that she'd been having an affair and when she was really horny for the other guy, she had sex with him and pretended it was that guy. Ooof! That had to hurt! Reminds me of that verse from that classic led zeppelin song "The way you called me another guys name...when I tried to make love to you..."
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Different levels of testosterone impact on empathy but the book's still out on the full impacts of testosterone on pair bonding within women. As a guess, you're an introvert who uses detachment as a defense mechanism, whether it's linked to sex or not. Possibly a combination of nature and nurture, where introversion is the element of nature amongst other elements. Well I swing between introversion and extroversion depending on who i'm around and if i'm comfortable. I don't see myself as detatched at all. In sex particularly i'm very involved but it doesn't mean in the morning the feeling will be there. With my first bf it was, but then I had a strong emotional bond to him prior to sex. With my second, there was amazing sex, but no emotional bond...weirdly, because he was emotionally bonded to me and wanted to cuddle etc, but I just didn't. With the third, amazing sex, but again...no strong need to be anything long term after the sex. I just enjoyed it for what it was. I think a lot of bonding that goes on during sex depends on the bonding before the sex i.e. if you feel strongly attached/emotionally involved before you've had sex, chances are the sex will strengthen that. If you feel strong attraction but no strong emotional bond, the sex won't necessarily create that.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 It's definitely more prevalent with women. They are able to hide it better and often won't mention it to even their closest friends. Guys will almost always brag to at least someone. This thread hasn't even addressed the monthly cycle and how that effects women's sex drives. Very true. Women are MUCH more sexually motivated just before their cycle. At least I think that's true. I know my sex drive shoots up massively around this time and I can't think about anything else but sex.
Author Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Animals do SUCH things. The spotted leopard and red wolf-the males-are KNOWN for sticking with their female partner and sharing the risks in raising their young. You are making ignorant assumptions based on very populist research for the reasons against monogamy. Frankly, monogamy is the norm and has been since humans started. If it wasn't we(males) would have scales on our penis to fight invaders sperm in the female. But we don't. And why? Because humans are monogamous creatures. Lack of character does not mean everyone lacks character. Most animals do NOT engage in monogamy the way that humans do. There are a few exceptions, but most animals are not monogamous and engaged in the human version of an affair or fling. There is nothing natural about monogamy. It is a construct and also a choice, and it benefits MANY people who are happy in monogamous relationship, but there is no natural construct surrounding sex. There is no universal law that governs how people have sex. Otherwise ALL human beings would be monogamous, and guess what? Many aren't. If monogamy were natural, there would be no cheating, no affairs, no boredom...the fact of the matter is, we make a choice to be monogamous or not, but no one or the other is more or less natural, but people seem to be so threatened by this.
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