Headintheclouds Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I've been in NC for 18 days now. I haven't seen her since we moved out of our apartment which was exactly 1 month ago. I'm still having my ups and downs. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I miss her so bad. I really don't think she will contact me. I am very tempted at times to contact her but there is something holding me back. I know I won't cave in, but the thought, the desire, and the day dream of what I would say and how I would say it runs through my head a lot. I was seeing someone shortly after we broke up and have since ended that relationship. I wasn't emotionally available and it felt like it just wasn't going anywhere. I didn't want to lead her on. Right now I would rather just be alone unless some great girl comes along and sweeps me off my feet. I'm not ready to be with anyone. That also makes me question my ex's behavior. Knowing how much I can't possibly be with someone else, I really wonder how she is doing it. She was seeing someone as we were breaking up. For those in NC, it does get easier after a couple weeks. I definitely have my moments where I am very sad, and still shed a few tears. I don't feel consumed by it anymore. I'm just getting used to my new life. Everything I knew 2 months ago is completely different for me. This is probably the biggest change I've ever been through. The feeling of being completely single and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want is pretty exciting. I do have some anxiety/re-occuring thoughts about what its going to be like if I run into her. Its inevitable. I guess I'll deal with it when it happens. Anyways, I just wanted to update. Back to NC, back to my life.
Philosoraptor Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It does get easier the more focus you start to take away from the ex and put on yourself. Good for you for ending things before you rebounded too hard. The last thing you want to do is extend your pain to another. Continue to work on yourself and good luck in whatever the future holds for you
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 The person who dumps you has an easier time moving on because they moved on while still with the dumpee. They knew it wasn't something they wanted and was able to just move on. It will get better; glad you're not caving in and calling.
Chacha8 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 NC has been the absolute hardest thing for me during my situation over the last 5 weeks (broken it a few times). My husband walked out of our lives and was with someone else within a week of leaving. I find myself thinking up random excuses to call, text or email him, but I must say I have done really well with resisting the urge to do it. As weird as it sounds, I actually feel much worse AFTER speaking to him than not speaking to him at all....I guess because when our conversation is finished, I'm still left with the reality that our relationship is over and there's no way to get it back. So, although its been extremely hard, I am getting through it each day. And I am SO SO SO glad to hear that it gets easier. I can't wait to get to that point.
Author Headintheclouds Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 Thanks for the replies So last night I was heading out with friends. I still know her schedule and I know that she works out at a certain time in the area where I was last night. I had this weird intuition that I was going to run into her. I felt sure that I was going to see her. Anyways, I finished dinner with my friends and was walking out of the restaurant. I was on the upper floor of the restaurant and guess what? As I was leaving she was there on the lower floor. The fact is, I didn't actually see her but both of my friends did and confirmed it 100%. They didn't say anything to me until we were a couple blocks away. I fought with the thought of going back but I didn't. I just felt it was ironic. I didn't tell them until after all of this that I had a feeling all night that I would run into her. I'm glad I didn't actually see her, but it still messed me up a bit thinking about it.
olivec Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 I've been in NC for 18 days now. I haven't seen her since we moved out of our apartment which was exactly 1 month ago. I'm still having my ups and downs. She's the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I go to sleep. I miss her so bad. I really don't think she will contact me. I am very tempted at times to contact her but there is something holding me back. I know I won't cave in, but the thought, the desire, and the day dream of what I would say and how I would say it runs through my head a lot. I was seeing someone shortly after we broke up and have since ended that relationship. I wasn't emotionally available and it felt like it just wasn't going anywhere. I didn't want to lead her on. Right now I would rather just be alone unless some great girl comes along and sweeps me off my feet. I'm not ready to be with anyone. That also makes me question my ex's behavior. Knowing how much I can't possibly be with someone else, I really wonder how she is doing it. She was seeing someone as we were breaking up. For those in NC, it does get easier after a couple weeks. I definitely have my moments where I am very sad, and still shed a few tears. I don't feel consumed by it anymore. I'm just getting used to my new life. Everything I knew 2 months ago is completely different for me. This is probably the biggest change I've ever been through. The feeling of being completely single and being able to do whatever I want whenever I want is pretty exciting. I do have some anxiety/re-occuring thoughts about what its going to be like if I run into her. Its inevitable. I guess I'll deal with it when it happens. Anyways, I just wanted to update. Back to NC, back to my life. I know what your going through man it was one year yesterday since my breakup with my ex and i just updated my status yesterday on how i'm doing. I can tell ya things will continue to get better for you. Just remember to stay focused on yourself and nobody else including your ex or any othe new women. i was like you to i was talking to a few women after my breakup but it was just too early and i had no feelings for any of them as my mind was still focused on my breakup with my ex. Staying NC is your best option. Do you really wanna know that your ex is hanging out with someone else? It'll make the healing process even that much harder and could drive you into a depression. Just stay focused on "you" and don't worry about your ex. Once you do that you'll continue to have things go in your favor. 1
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