ohmygoshistalk Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 i like a guy whos never been in a relationship..i did some google research and some people saying that they have experience with someone like that and they would never do it again. in my experience i have dated people w/ no previous girlfriends but this was back when i was 17 or 18, so its more understandable, but if someone is past 24 and never had kissed /gf much more sex..what does it mean? especially if the person isnt bad looking and has a lot of people flirting w/ them?
ThatDudeXO Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Could be shy, career-focused, preserved, waiting for someone special or religious.
gaius Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It means the guy doesn't have much of an urge to be in a relationship, which means you will have to do most of the heavy lifting. Maybe even drag him kicking and screaming into your bed. Which doesn't appeal to many women.
Mr Coach Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It probably doesn't mean anything at all. If you really like him, why don't you just ask him why he hasn't had any girlfriends in the past? If he's really good looking and got lots of people flirting with him, I'd say that he's a man with high standards.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It means he does not have any bagage that can come with having been in relationships before. He's never been hurt by a evil witch of a B____h. He's never learned unhealthy relationship habits (other that whatever his parents showed in their relationships.) etc.
Andy_K Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 If the guy is attractive and frequently flirted with, but has never been in a relationship, nor kissed or had sex, it basically boils down to one of the following: Chronically shy, religious zealot, asexual, micropenis.
mtber75 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 He probably wasn't interested in relationships. He's a shy interovert who likes to keep to himself. You just have to work harder to bring him out of the shell.
Radu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Could be shy, career-focused, preserved, waiting for someone special or religious. This, from experience. I was that guy ... it was shyness.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Most likely he's a bit on the shy side. Women should not hesitate to date these type of guys. Unfortunately far too many look at it as a red flag.
dasein Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It means the guy doesn't have much of an urge to be in a relationship, which means you will have to do most of the heavy lifting. Maybe even drag him kicking and screaming into your bed. Which doesn't appeal to many women. I disagree thoroughly with the above, and agree with other posters who say it's NBD. There are all kinds of people in the world and all kinds of circumstances. Finding a relationship as a man in the early 20s can be daunting in competition with men who are more established, and in light of many women's preference for men who are a few years (3-5 on average) older than she is. A 22-25 y.o. man would be socially stigmatized for dating teenagers, and to a lesser degree for cruising college campuses looking for GFs as recent threads here demonstrate. You can look at it half empty or half full. A person who hasn't had LTRs has not -failed- at relationships, and IMO would be a better bet than someone who has had several relationships end unhappily by that age. Good luck. 2
irc333 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Could be shy, career-focused, preserved, waiting for someone special or religious. These are pretty good reasons, with society being so sexually crazed lately....some people just don't go with the flow of being sexually loose and holding off on someone special to come into their life as opposed to someone to experiment with. Some people prefer to preserve themselves for someone special,esp. with all these friggin' diseases going around.
Radu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 To add to what 49322 said, most of the times it's shyness but it depends on the cultural background of the person or the way he was raised. I have a friend who was indoctrinated by his mom and dad about the evils that women do, and that he needs a huge bank account to date a woman. Needless to say they are all excuses as he is afraid. His personality is a killer too (not in the good way), and it is too bad because i know for a fact women would like him if not for the social programming his mommy did to him. The man won't even eat unless it's cooked by her. I knew another guy who's mother left his father and left him behind. He ended up hugely resentfull towards women and is messed up for life. Makes a ton of money, is very driven and he is a blast to talk to. He lost his virginity so he's not a newbie, but he is incapable of having a normal relationship with a woman as he simply overreacts to any ****test or little game that woman might play. My highschool IT teacher lost his virginity at 25. He was a blast to talk to, the kind of guy that looks good, feels young even now at 40 and who just plain enjoys life. He was incredibly shy and his wife popped his cherry, he was not afraid to say that he was a virgin untill 25 to our class. He was also very well read, you could have a chat with him on any subject. Another highschool guy that was in my class has both parents artists. Mother is a choreographer and father is ... i have no ideea what. He studied architecture and graduated very well. He is someone who is very passionate about literature, art, architecture, philosophy and psychology. Sounds like a catch, right ? Well, i happened to be friends with him for a while and i can tell you that he looks down upon all of those that are not artistic, that do not live for art or understand art. I (and others), considered him our friend and he backstabbed everyone, women run from him after initially being charmed. There are many reasons as to why a guy would be virgin at 25, how he looks doesn't play a part in this as he may view himself as lacking. Give them a shot and give them enough rope to hang themselves, ppl usually tend to do it. The comments you have read about ppl talking like this either come from insensitive women (not to call them bitches) who do not understand what a guy might go through and are on their 'wild' period of their lives. Deciding who to date on 'approval' of others can't end up good if you let it dominate your life. 2
Mrlonelyone Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Deciding who to date on 'approval' of others can't end up good if you let it dominate your life. That's exactly what many younger and /or emotionally immature women do. It's so much easier to let other people do the hard thinking for you. After all if a guy has dated some high status woman then he must be a catch right? (It's the same reason a married man looks more attractive to some women.)
Radu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I remember reading in a women's magazine about some tests they gave to young female celebs who were supposed to write down what the most important thing a guy should have if they are to date them, 'approval of my friends' was at the top of it. It changes after 25-30 in most women. 1
somedude81 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 He could just be shy, quiet, or simply not that smooth. It's no reason not to date him.
gaius Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I disagree thoroughly with the above, and agree with other posters who say it's NBD. There are all kinds of people in the world and all kinds of circumstances. Finding a relationship as a man in the early 20s can be daunting in competition with men who are more established, and in light of many women's preference for men who are a few years (3-5 on average) older than she is. A 22-25 y.o. man would be socially stigmatized for dating teenagers, and to a lesser degree for cruising college campuses looking for GFs as recent threads here demonstrate. You can look at it half empty or half full. A person who hasn't had LTRs has not -failed- at relationships, and IMO would be a better bet than someone who has had several relationships end unhappily by that age. Good luck. You're right. It's so daunting to ask a girl on a date who's openly flirting with you. Especially when you're 25 and filled with testosterone.
ThaWholigan Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 You're right. It's so daunting to ask a girl on a date who's openly flirting with you. Especially when you're 25 and filled with testosterone. no need to be condescending lol, having been that guy (and still recovering), it's difficult when you are very sensitive to those things. It doesn't mean that they're damaged like people like to think though. 1
dasein Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 You're right. It's so daunting to ask a girl on a date who's openly flirting with you. Especially when you're 25 and filled with testosterone. OP says he hasn't had a relationship, not that he hasn't asked women out. She implies that he may also be a virgin, but it's unclear from OP whether she knows this as a fact or is just assuming this due to his disclosure that he hasn't had a relationship. If he had told her directly "I am a virgin," she would probably have mentioned that in the OP. He may be a bad bet, but the fact of his not having a "serious" relationship at 25 is not proof one way or the other, and certainly doesn't warrant the broad generalizations you made about having to drag him into bed, etc.
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