Sammyboy Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 So here's the story in my senior year in highschool i met this girl in photo class (my gf). She was very sweet and mature which really attracted me. The only downfall was i thought she was a upperclassmen but she was a freshman. But the way this girl carried herself you would think she was a senior. So we became friends and i started to know her. I was hesitant to get in a relationship with her because she was younger than me but as time went by i thought about my parents who are 3 years apart and met each other at the same time why not give it a try. So we went out for a few months it was great, we loved each other, had the same goals and we had sex too. One week she started to get suspicious about me and my cousins girlfriend talking. So we argued about it and i said she is my cousins gf and shes just a friend. She perceived it her own way and said i don't want you talking to her looking at her don't even sit by her. I got so frustrated and at the time i was dealing with some heavy stuff at home that i couldn't handle it and i told her we need to break up. So we did and she took it harshly but I didn't want to be with someone when i was not being myself and full of anger from other things in life. So a few months went by and i met another girl in my school and we dated for a few months then broke up because her parents were racist. During that time my ex girlfriend by the way her names Amy went through a very dark road she got into drugs, weed, parties, she even got beat and raped by someone. So one night she prayed that she would finally get her one and only knight and soulmate and she wanted out of the life she was in. I do not know what caught me but the day after she prayed she just popped in my head so i went on facebook and looked at hers and noticed that she had made a comment about how guys are douche-bags or something. So i told look Amy if you want to bash me then why don't you text me and tell me. So she did and we talked and i told her i was thinking about her blah blah then i said you know what lets get back together let go of the past and make something new. So that night she dumped her bf who is a really bad guy from she told me and got back with me. Immediately when we got back together i was happy ecstatic and couldn't bear the thought that i got her back. So time went on and we fell in deep love i mean so deep that when youre around each other you feel butterflies. I did everything i could to make her happy and she also did everything for me. After a year though she really wanted to get serious. She told me she really wanted me to get into church and become a Christian and really get into school also she told me what she needed from me. There was something in her though that i know was hurting her but she didn't show it. Then things started to go up and down. we started to argue a lot about religion and she didn't mean to yell at me she was just so frustrated that i didn't understand where she was coming from. So time went on and she started to get suspicious of one of my co workers at work ( i worked at Hollister in the mall at the time). But the girl that she was suspicious about had a bf and me and her were just friends. My ex got so suspicious that she had her friends come into the store and see if we were talking. So one day my co worker messaged me on facebook and asked if i could cover her shift i said no im sorry im busy, then my co worker said well boo you sam! My gf saw that on my facebook and she got outraged she said do not talk to her she is trying to take you from me and i cant have her thinking shes prettier than me. I told her that we were just friends but she didn't care and immediately said do not talk to again and delete her off facebook. I said okay if that makes you feel better i'll do that. As time went on she got suspicious over my phone and facebook. I tried to prove everything to her but we got into a big fight. So i asked her Amy why are you like this? She went into tears and said well you cheated on me in high school and as much as you think you didn't you did. I asked how and she said you went out with that girl a few months later i said Amy we were broken up, She said it doesn't matter. I couldn't bear seeing the person i love cry so i put my pride down said im sorry and asked for her forgiveness. She cried more and said okay then we hugged kissed and i cuddled her and put her to sleep. After that things were perfect and how they were supposed to be. The only thing was as time went by she started to push for me to become a Christian and she would complain 3 times a month that she needed a Christian guy. I told her baby just wait it takes time and i will get there she said okay. To me a typical guy would of just left right then and there but i loved this girl so much that i looked past it and put my strength into becoming a Christian. She also loved me more than anything. During this time also she started to deal with alot of family troubles and she would call me at 3 in the morning asking her to pick her up. She would be crying and said i need to get out of there. I never let down once i always picked her even though i was angry and tired and every time i got her a movie from redbox, made her something to eat when we got to my house, and cuddled her and took all her pain away and the next morning i would make her breakfast and she would feel better. Doing all this for her made me see how much i love her and how much she loved and appreciated me. Then it happened she got back into touch with one of her old friends who is a selfish ignorant girl. They started to hangout and my gf changed. She became more needy and unappreciative of what i would do for her and she would always complain about how her friends bf kisses her ass and gets her everything she wants. It became so bad that we got into fights a lot and one weekend they were hanging out and my gf changed her facebook profile picture of her and me to her in a bikini. I got so frustrated with her i called 20 times and she finally answered then i asked about it and she said Sam i don't give a **** what you think i can do what i want. That same day my ex co worker from Hollister texted me and asked how i was doing. I said i was okay just fighting with my gf. She replied Oh. well me and my bf are going through a hard time im scared he broke up with me. i dont know what to do Sam please help me i know you're a good guy and know what to do. So i did what any friend would do and helped her we talked hungout at the gym got milkshakes and went to Chinatown. I gave her advice on how to help her bf really see your feelings and she gave me advice on how to help my gf with her issues. She really appreciated what i did for and a few weeks later she got back with her bf and there perfect now. The only bad thing was i never told my gf about any of this, i wanted to but i was too scared to mess anything up. So one night i went out with some friends and they were all playing a certain game on their phone, so i started to play too but i forgot i played that same game with my co worker and my gf saw it and flipped. On our way home she screamed and said i cant have this girl thinking shes prettier than me and she hit me on the way home and kept saying i thought you loved me i said i do sweeteheart i was just helping her with her bf i promise she finally came down and forgived me a few days later. I knew right there and then i should of told her that we hungout to not just played a game but i was too scared she would dump me. Well 4 weeks go by and her crazy friend thought itd be funny if she sent a text to my co worker saying Amy is going to mess up your car. My co worker said if she wants to talk then lets meet at Starbucks. So they did and my co worker said you know Sam's a good guy by not telling you he was bad but we are just friends Amy and he really helped me get back with my boyfriend please just forgive him he's a very special person and he really loves you. My girlfriend said no eff him he's a cheater and dumped me on facebook right there and then. I was clueless of what happend and on my way to see her i noticed on fb that she said she was single. I went nuts she didnt reply at all to my calls texts. So i called my co worker and talked to her and her bf and they told me what happend. The next day i went to my gf's house and left a teddy bear with candy and a bucket of m&ms and a big balloon that said i Love You. The next few days i got her flowers and even wrote her a 5 page letter about things. We talked and she said that she needed her space then she got angry and said im already talking to guys youre not getting off easy on this. 2 weeks went by i tried my best not to talk to her but did a few of those days but i also custom ordered her 18 roses which means im sorry and had them delivered on april 18th. She got the roses and said thank you and i asked if i could tell her what they mean and she said yes so i went there. I explained how a rose means love and pain and i told her that we can use this as a bridge for our gaps in our relationship. She said Sam just stop just let go. I know you love me more than anything i know you care, i know in my heart that if you had to die for me you would and i know you would keep your promise in becoming a doctor and raise a family together but i don't care Sam. She said you did this to me and i asked her do you think there really is another guy out there like me that will sacrifice and work there tail off for you. She said yeah theres someone out there i know there is as a matter of fact theres a lot of guys texting me that want to get into a serious relationship you can just wait for me and wait your turn thats your punishment. She also said that God told her that we will be together someday but not now. Then she got angry and called me a malicious piece of **** and told me im a cheater and yes Sam it's emotional cheating. Then she started to cry and i told her Amy your forcing yourself to do this please don't you're going to hurt yourself listen to your heart not your head. She then told me to get out of her house and leave so i did. That weekend she prank called me and i texted her the next morning and said please dont prank call me im trying my hardest to move on and walk again. Im also talking to people like you. Then i told her i offered you everything you need and more and you denied it i ended the text by saying God bless us both and i hope everything you do you think about what Jesus would do. She texted a few days later asking for her stuff back and telling me you denied all of that by breaking our trust. I texted her back a week later and said ill get your stuff back and told her it wasnt a trust issue you just don't feel appreciated and loved. Well today when i go to the gym a buddy of mine comes up to me and tells me that shes been at the gym with a guy a couple times and recently he had a hicky on his neck and my friend asked him about her and apparently they've been hanging out alot. I looked at her facebook tonight and saw that shes been partying with this guy. It really hurts me because i don't understand how she can just throw 2 years that gave my all to her and is already seeing someone. She has also been trying to communicate with my family telling my mom that she misses them and wants to know how theyre doing. Hearing her with someone else really hurt me i broke the rule and called her and told her i saw some nice tanks from a store she likes she answered the phone not knowing who i was and said oh is this Sam sorry i didnt know the number then she said oh ok cool and immediately asked when i was going to get her stuff back i told her soon im still collecting everything and she said ok well thanks for calling bye. Im lost on what to do, i really don't what shes thinking and it's killing me to know that she's already moving on only after 4 weeks. Please help me im clueless on what to do know i really love this girl and she knows that by heart and she loves me too shes forcing herself to do this. I want her back im trying to keep strong but i miss her so much and it seems like she has already forgotten about me
darkmoon Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) OP you wrote "So they did and my co worker said you know Sam's a good guy by not telling you he was bad but we are just friends Amy and he really helped me get back with my boyfriend please just forgive him he's a very special person and he really loves you. My girlfriend said no eff him he's a cheater and dumped me on facebook right there and then" who is this co-worker friend to talk down to your girlfriend (ex) like that? i'd be like your girl, as you and the friend seem so complicit - why should she trust the woman friend ffs the friend is sooo in control of the situation, you seem in her thrall when you should be in the girlfriend's thrall, sorry, but i can understand your girl and if antything you would have to drop the controller cuz in her saying of you "he's a very special person" that's excessive language from a co-worker, who does she think she is? miss fixit the perfect? i bet your ex and me would get on, two women who like to be put first, not the self-appointed controller thank you, she's a full-of-it queen bee, just work with her but do not expect your girl to understand why you need her friendship - controller is not that wonderful, is she? i think i maybe onto something here that's all... Edited May 1, 2012 by darkmoon
Author Sammyboy Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 I'm sorry darkmoon i meant to say that my co worker said he is bad for not telling you. My co worker looks up to me like a big brother that's why she said I'm a special person. She was trying to tell her she's sorry and let her see the good in me. I have always put my gf first in everything in my life I mean everything I even asked her to marry me and she said yes in a year when im out of school. We had plans to get a apartment this summer and start living together. As a guy i was lost into what she was becoming with her friend and didn't know how to change it. She became so full of what i should be based on what her friend said she totally forgot who i was as and it really hurt because i was trying so hard for her to make her happy. This was months before the incident. I needed advice from someone and I felt bad if i didn't help my friend. I don't know what i should do know I cant believe shes moving on so fast.
darkmoon Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) "My co worker looks up to me like a big brother that's why she said I'm a special person" this will in no way enchant your girlfriend, and if the co-worker has you so manipulated (or just nudged towards) saying and feeling this, it makes it worse - either you are a couple and put your girlfriend first or you don't, not neck and neck, but first - you are in enough trouble as it, refer the co-worker to her real family, note the lack of sex in this friendship does not mean lack of intimacy, you are not her real big brother but i know how mild, charming and deadly the "brother" tag is, wake up, she's subtly in the queue for you Edited May 3, 2012 by darkmoon
Chi townD Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 First off, next time use paragraphs...that was hard as hell to read. Second, you need to go complete NC (NO CONTACT) on this chick. She is hell bent to make you suffer for some damned reason. So I seriously think that is not God telling her to act this way. She wants her pound of flesh. Don't give it to her. It's not hers to have. First thing you need to do, is to talk to your family and tell them that you don't want to hear a damn thing about her. And tell your friends the same thing. If they're truely your friends, they'll understand. Block her from Facebook, and anyone associated with her on FB. Anything so you don't see her posts or her tagged in a photo. Have a friend drop off all her crap. YOU DO NOT DO THIS! Have a family member or a friend do this. Then ignore her. Don't answer any of her texts or e-mails or phonecalls. You don't text, e-mail or call her. If you get the urge, post here instead. People are here to walk you through this.
Chi townD Posted May 3, 2012 Posted May 3, 2012 (edited) She said yeah theres someone out there i know there is as a matter of fact theres a lot of guys texting me that want to get into a serious relationship you can just wait for me and wait your turn thats your punishment. She also said that God told her that we will be together someday but not now. She actually said this?!??! Wow!! She's kinda full of herself huh.... I would have said, " Well, Buddha told me I would be high as hell to go back to you....so, where does that leave us?" or "Did God say it was cool to be sucking on some dudes neck? Doesn't seem like a christian thing to do" See, I HATE when people say "God told me this or God told me that." God gave you only one important thing in situations like this, free will. When God speaks to us, it's subtle and you find him in places where you least expect him to be. "God told me we would be together? No sweety...that's Schizophrenia" Edited May 3, 2012 by Chi townD
Author Sammyboy Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 Yeah I do not understand the way she's thinking at all, it's not her. I went early in the morning dropped off her stuff and one of my t shirts plus a 8x10 photo of us on her birthday left it at her front door and left. Also sent this email You know Amy, I've been giving it some thought and i've come to realize that youre acting in ways that I don't want to have any part of you're behavior is reckless, careless and quite frankly embarrassing. I'm not angry with you or even hurt because i know that however you're acting is all in your head and has nothing to do with me. As a result i want you to know that I'm not going to have THAT as a part of my life. I have greater ambitions for my life than to act like you're acting and I'm not going to let you bring me down. So as long as you want to be this new cool girl that only cares about herself I wont have any part of it because I know a a different person one who has character and is honorable. Sincerely, Sam Haven't talked to her since. She tried texting but I ignored it she said my email was absurd and unapplicable.
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