xenomorph Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Has anyone heard this from friends and family members? Everyone I've confided in--this includes mutual friends too--seems to think that my stbxh will return. Some of my confidants say that 'he will be back' as a warning to prepare to shut him out when he does, while others feel that the chance of reconciliation is a high possibility. This frightens me because I've gotten to the point where I do not expect him to ever contact me again, but the idea that he will return keeps haunting me. I want to heal and be whole within myself before I ever entertain the idea of even *talking* to him, much less consider being in a relationship with him again. (BTW: I'm almost a month into NC)
Texsec Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 In the same shoes with my STBX w. Everyone says she will be back after she finds out not every guy will do for her what I did...But, will I want to try again? I will worry about that if and when it happens...until then, don't lose sleep over it....
marqueemoon4 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Seems like everyone loves to speculate about these things.. they see a loved one in pain and they want to see you healthy and happy again. In my experience, not one of the things my friends, family or even my therapist have said have actually happened. Maybe it will for you, that remains to be seen. Its not about him right now though, its about YOU. Don't forget that! ps- are you excited for Prometheus?? I know I am 1
Author xenomorph Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 I find myself not knowing how to respond to these "he'll be back, you'll see" reactions. If they sincerely know something I don't, I'd prefer if they just say so, but if they're just saying that to try and make me feel better--when it does the complete opposite--what should I say? A part of me likes to hear this glimmer of hope, but another part of me knows what it does to all the progress I've been making. ps- are you excited for Prometheus?? I know I am yes! very!
marqueemoon4 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I find myself not knowing how to respond to these "he'll be back, you'll see" reactions. If they sincerely know something I don't, I'd prefer if they just say so, but if they're just saying that to try and make me feel better--when it does the complete opposite--what should I say? A part of me likes to hear this glimmer of hope, but another part of me knows what it does to all the progress I've been making. yes! very! Just a little over a month away! So, yea.. I know exactly what you're talking about.. people see the situation (from your perspective) and try to formulate in their head whats going to happen in the future. Like its a mathematical equation. Well, its not.. and who knows what your ex is gonna do just like I have no idea what my exW is going to do. Knowing that means WE have to move on like they are gone for good. And who knows, it may be for the best!
sweetheart5381 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Just a little over a month away! So, yea.. I know exactly what you're talking about.. people see the situation (from your perspective) and try to formulate in their head whats going to happen in the future. Like its a mathematical equation. Well, its not.. and who knows what your ex is gonna do just like I have no idea what my exW is going to do. Knowing that means WE have to move on like they are gone for good. And who knows, it may be for the best! Exactly.. live for you and for now. My friends all said the same thing, he will be back, etc. Truthfully, he has never left. He made his presence known. My ex is still in my life everyday, that wont end anytime soon as a co-worker. Thing is, once you see that relationship as being over it will be very easy to just let it go... doesnt matter what anyone says, it will be YOU that decides what you want. When it's over, it's over. If they come back eventually..well, it's still over if you want it to be. If not, it's a helluva hurdle to undue the damage of a heartbreak. Your choice.
WildHorses Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Nobody really can predict if somebody will be back or not. People thought that in my situation my ex would return. He did not. And, now I don't want him back, especially now knowing what I know about him. If I were you, I would try to ignore those statements people are telling you. Focus on yourself. There are a lot of times an ex does contact after a period of time. Sometimes they do not. What matters is that you focus on yourself, what is important to you. Keep up with NC. That is KEY. If the ex wants to contact you, it will happen. NC also helps you heal.
Author xenomorph Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 Thanks for the input everyone, it really has helped me re-engineer how I react to the "he'll be back" responses. My sincere hope is that we can both most past the pain and be on friendly terms in the future. How far into the future remains to be seen. I'm leaving it well alone at the moment. Keeping up with NC, and I hope to stick to it. Every week is a victory What did you find out about your ex, WildHorses? (And forgive me if I'm prying, just curious. You don't have to respond if you don't want to). 1
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