Breck Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I'm not saying crying all the time, but while dating, are women turned off if a man cries while telling a personal story? I believe it's important to open up and let your guard down, but what about showing an emotional side? What are a woman's thoughts on the topic?
fishtaco Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 No, it's NOT ok. I'm a guy BTW, and that's what I think. If you have to do it, wait until you have a strong relationship built up already. Say for example, like you two are married. While you're just dating, as in courting, don't bring up depressing stories, and for God's sake, don't cry, even if you get rocked in the nuts.
Ursa Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 In the early stages of dating, it's a turn off for either party to make themselves look weak or needy, IMO. Nobody wants to get deeply involved with an emotional basketcase, maintaining some emotional equilibrium is part of putting your best foot forward. Once you're on firmer ground, know that you're emotionally involved and committed to trying to take care of each other--well, to be at that point requires intimacy, which requires being yourself, warts, tears, and all. I like fishtaco but waiting until marriage to let a few tears fall is a little crazy, IMO. Of course as you said, crying all over the place at any provocation is too much--but sometimes life is hard and it should be okay to react to that like a human being. If you can't do that in front of your girlfriend, that should be a sign that she's not the right one to be your wife. 2
2sunny Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Yes. I dig REAL people. I don't want someone who pretends and lies by not showing me what's real. 1
gaius Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Women might forgive you for it depending on the circumstance but they will never enjoy watching you cry. Whenever John Boehner starts crying his wife just shuts her eyes and daydreams of the Washington parties she gets to attend for being married to the speaker to the house.
Mr Coach Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Oh boy! Of course it's "OK for a man to cry", but it's definitely not something you want to be doing TOO SOON with a woman you're dating, whom you don't know very well. She will probably be f-r-e-a-k-e-d out (except in some cases I guess... really depends on why you're crying - Nevertheless, it will most certainly not make the woman attracted to you) Once you've developed a solid relationship with a woman, it's only natural to share your feelings on a deeper level, and men have emotions to - so of course it would be OK to cry once in a while. (Uhm... try to keep it down though:)) Cheers, 1
waiting4u Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 The guy I just broke up with did this several times in the few short months we were together. It was a turn-off to say the least, and as someone said before, he did come across as an emotional basket case. I understand that the whole "boys don't cry" mindset is culturally imposed, but imo women want their men to be strong and stoic.
Ross MwcFan Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It's perfectly okay for a man to cry, but it's definatley not a good idea to do it while you're on a date with someone who you've just started dating.
El Brujo Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It's perfectly okay for a man to cry, but it's definatley not a good idea to do it while you're on a date with someone who you've just started dating. ^That.^ BTW I can understand crying if you're talking about some family member who died... but IMO any macho BSer who thinks he can laugh at a 350-lb monster who's crying without getting his head cracked, is better off dancing ballet.
pink_sugar Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Well definitely not okay during your first date, but as you gradually get to know the person, I think it's nice to see that a man has some sensitivity. Such as my husband opening up about one of his parents passing away when he was a teenager. That is understandable, especially if they were close.
samsungxoxo Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It's normal as long as he isn't crying for every single argument, at the drop of a hat. If he is crying every single day (ex: He lost a pencil and is already crying) then that's when it becomes a problem.
GravityMan Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Under certain (extreme) circumstances, sure it's OK for a man to cry. However, I'd probably hold off on telling such emotional, personal stories until the relationship is more established and serious. Keep the early stages of dating lighthearted, fun and positive.
Lil1 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 men cry?! j/k! I like 2sunny's take on this. If you're being real and feel like sharing something that impacted you deeply, I will not think any less of you regardless if we are dating. Just don't make a habit of it while we are on a date - dates are meant to be fun!
Mrlonelyone Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Maybe not as a first impression or a first date but yes it is ok. Depending on the story being told or the situation. i.e. Your telling about half your platoon being killed in Iraqanistan by an IED. It's ok to cry then. Your talking about how beautiful your favorite pair of dress shoes are... not ok to cry.
KathyM Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I think it can be very endearing to a woman to see a man cry. It shows he's human, and has a sensitivity that is sweet, and is not some cold, emotionless facade that has to put on an act and stifle his emotions. Assuming he's not overly sensitive, I like that quality in a man--the ability to be vulnerable and show his sensitive side. In fact, one of the things that made me fall in love with my husband was when he was talking lovingly about his grandparents, and he started to choke up about it. Although I like a strong, confident, assertive man, I also want him to be able to show emotion and be vulnerable sometimes. I think sometimes men are expected to stifle their emotions too much, and they become detached from them. I sometimes hear mothers telling their little boys that they should never cry, or even punish them if they cry, and that seems so wrong to me. When they are never allowed to express their emotions or feelings, or are taught that having emotions is a sign of weakness, they have a harder time having empathy for or being sensitive to the feelings of others.
ScienceGal Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I agree with the other posters in that it's ok for a man to cry in general, as it shows emotional depth and a sort of tenderness. But, it shouldn't be very early on because that level of investment in the relationship shouldn't be there. Meaning, if I am having a horrible day, I am going to cry to my girlfriend who has known me for years, not a guy I met last week. And if I couldn't keep the tears back for whatever reason, I wouldn't go out with the new guy until I could. It's too much too soon.
Professor X Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I cried during Lion King, when Mufasa got killed. I was a very sad panda 2
samsungxoxo Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I cried during Lion King, when Mufasa got killed. I was a very sad panda Yeah I still remembered those last deadly words: Mufasa: Scar, brother help me Scar: Long live the king I think that's even more sadder is when young Simba sees his father falling. Then he was pulling his dad's ear, thinking he would wake him up... then realize he was gone. Simba: Help, somebody, anybody help..... I gotta the very first time I saw it (think I was 6/7 then), I wasn't really paying too much attention and thought he was asleep or something. Years later, I watched it again and was happy Scar got the worst death ever (apart from being set on fire, being eaten alive is bad enough too).
Citizen Erased Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It depends on why they're crying. Because their parent died or because something reminds them of the time they ran out of beer, some things are worth crying over and some aren't. Goes for men and women.
january2011 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I'm not saying crying all the time, but while dating, are women turned off if a man cries while telling a personal story? I believe it's important to open up and let your guard down, but what about showing an emotional side? What are a woman's thoughts on the topic? Yes, it's okay. Especially when he's referring to an experience where it makes sense that he was deeply affected. For example, when talking about a traumatic experience or the death of a close relative or friend. If his eyes didn't tear up slightly, I'd probably be a little concerned. And it wouldn't matter if it was our first date. 1
pink_sugar Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I cried during Lion King, when Mufasa got killed. I was a very sad panda My brother also cried during the lion king, LOL.
wwwjd Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 real men don't have time to cry while beating the snot out of whatever was making them feel bad
irin Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 i hate when people say crying is a sign of weakness so stupid:mad: its just an emotional expression, like laughter, smile, frown. humans have emotions get over it! its natural.
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