magicallydelicious Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 my boyfriend of almost a year and a half and I have been fighting a lot lately. things have been pretty strained, but we had a talk a few weeks ago and agreed we would be more open with communication with one another. last Saturday I saw him and he was really cranky, and Sunday when we woke up, he made a rude comment to me, which sparked another fight. he admitted to me that work is making him feel really unimportant (he's had multiple bosses in the past year), and he said he wasn't happy. I asked what makes him happy, and he said "you". he also finally admitted to me that he has about $3,000 in credit card debt, and he told me it was $1000 before (he lied about it). I asked him if he has anything saved, which he doesn't, despite making $53k/year for the past 4 years. when I asked him where he spends his money, he said he didn't know. i'm really concerned because: 1. he needs to be happy on his own before he can be happy with me. I don't want to be the only source of his happiness. I think I'd come to resent it. 2. he's been unhappy, but hasn't done anything to try to fix it. I'm a very assertive, and goal-oriented person, and this bothers me. 3. he has no idea where his money is going, and he's not responsible with it. I'm finishing my doctorate degree and will have about $100k in loans, so I want to be able to save money, while paying my debt off, and I'm terrified if we were to get married, he'd be so careless, and would spend my money without even thinking. i asked him if he had a plan to try and turn things around, and he said he didn't. we talked in circles for about three hours before I told him we each need to take a few days, and he really needs to think things over. I really think these are some things he needs to work through on his own. he told me how much he loves me and wants to be with me, and I really do love him, but things haven't been the same lately, and with all these issues, I feel like we've been growing apart. I just don't know what to do. any advice is appreciated, thanks.
Svet74 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It def seems like you guys talked about everything. He just needs some space. He is prob feeling pressure.
Philosoraptor Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Sounds like you are unhappy with him and you need him to be something that he isn't. If this is just the way he is then you need to make a decision regarding whether or not you see yourself happy with him, just the way he is, in the future.
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