Kinda Seperation

[Broken-N-VA]

My wife and I have been married for 20 years, 2 kids G17, S15. Wifes been saying for months/maybe longer that shes unhappy, confused and depressed. She cry's often and will occasionally jump in her car and take off for a hour or so. I sympathized with her but never really understood how bad it was until 2 weeks ago when she moved out (to parents).

 

from my perspective everything hit a head in late January when I caught her texting her boss. I suspected they had been talking more than just about work but she had been deleted text messages for some time. I had questioned her several times about her relationship with him (she would say I accused her, maybe I did) but she said it was strictly work. After I caught her in the midst of texting I was crushed, I was convinced my worst fears had come true. She denied anything physical had ever happened and that they are "just Friends", she said he listened to her problems and made her laughed. Without going through all the reasons I believe her. She appears to have reduced or minimized her contact with him and he with her (as far as I know)

 

needless to say since late January our relationship has been stressed. She had asked me several times for a little time away and out of fear I fought against it. We began therapy together at the same time. Initially I felt like we would work it out and things would get better. Sex was better than ever, we spent every minute together and appeared to me to be madly in love. I wasnt under any illusion we had work, but it seemed as if we were headed in the right direction until 2 weeks ago. She came to me at the beginning of the week and said she was going to stay with her parents for "awhile" I begged her not to go but if she did I begged her to return after the first weekend.

 

To complicate this we work together in the same office sorta on the same team. Initially we talked for hours every day, she told me she loved me, we hugged and kissed. She insisted this was her time alone and the space she needed. Although as the days go on she is more distant, no more hugs, kisses or I love yous. It seems strange that in such a short period of time so much could change.,

 

I'm told repeatedly to leave her alone, NC. Its difficult to do when I see her every day and we have issues that need to be talked about with kids, bills and work.

 

Its impossible to give all the details in a short area but Im dying a slow death, the pain is the worst I ever felt. I've heard all the advise on what I need to do for me. But What do I need to do for her, to get her back home before 2 weeks turns into 2 months or more?

 

Thanks for the help

Broken

[wilsonx]

Sorry man, thats terrible. One VA brother to another dont let her put any negative pressure on you. You were right.

 

I do not have any "JUST FRIENDS"

 

Thats a bull**** excuse for someone trying to rationalize it to themselves. I cant imagine what you are going through but just focus on yourself for a while and let the experts here help you out.

[gibson]

I'm very sorry to hear about your situation. There are a lot of wonderful people in here who have been / are going through your same situation. You will get a lot of help, support and encouragement here.

 

I'm not married but...

 

If someone has to explain and clarify their relationship(s) as "just" friends or "good" friends with someone of the opposite sex or with an Ex, I run for the hills.

 

What they mean and what they are really saying is.... They are "just" friends / "good" friends with that person for the moment.

 

I only have friends and I expect the person I choose to date / be in a relationship with to have the same.

[DelUK]

I feel your pain brother, Im in it too, similar situation (see my thread).

 

Im not sure what you can do, especially with you working with the lady. I guess its limited Contact and bide your time.

 

Im of the opinion that the LORD will guide us and if you pray, as Im doing, we may be rewarded. There is strength in faith.

 

Good luck.