Overu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 My ex and I started dating in july of 09 when she just turned 17, she was in a very bad relationship but a short one at that. The relationship started slow as her parents were strict but was amazing for close to a year when her friend talked her into breaking it off (because I travel for work) but didn't last long as she wanted to be with me. Several months we had a mutual separation and few days later she decided it was best not to talk. A few days after I found out she was talking to another guy already. I flipped and chased her she talked to both of us but I won through and he turned out to be a weirdo. Six months later she ended it again cause I didn't hang with her one night after she told me she couldn't. Well that didn't last long either but a few months later the same thing happens, but right before we got together she thought I cheated on her (I didn't) but we worked it out. A month a half later we broke up cause she wanted to have more fun and other small reasons. I got back with I know now just cause she was lonely. Even after all that two years had passed and we made it through a lot, so now July of 2011 we got back together. The next nine months were our best together we did a lot together and even moved in together in November. We got a puppy and were living life pretty good until it seemed like she stopes caring. She was a horrible cook but stoped even trying, and she stoped cleaning as much. She also grew somewhat distant but not really cause we were gonna get a house together and she was excited about it. I always kinda felt like she didn't wanna live with me so I started saying things like "the only reason your still here is you have nowhere to go". We fought for two weekends and on the second we were talking about her moving out so I told her I wanted to be there when she moved out so I would change the door locks. Bottom line I said some horrible things that I am ashamed of and terribly regret. The next morning I left for work and it just seemed like a normal fight but on Wednesday my brother text me and asked if I was moving. Well she made me think things were okay and she moved out. That was a Wednesday by Sunday she was going to lunch with a guy (don't think she even knew him but who knows) and within a few weeks there were dating she told me, and she said she ended it over two fights and I pissed her off. She has been seeing him for five weeks and he has already stayed at her house which took me to years. I have had NC for three weeks now and will continue. I know the breakup was mostly but not all my fault because I was pushing her away cause I felt like she didn't care but she did do things that showed otherwise but not always. We were living the married life pretty much and were looking forward till those too fights now she is with him already, I always thought we had a good relationship but I took her for granted most of the time so I know she was seeking attention... Any thoughts?
Philosoraptor Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Ok take the blame off of yourself. She was unhappy and was already looking around during your relationship. According to your post she has done it multiple times over the years and found someone very quickly each time. If someone isn't happy with you exactly the way you are, then you don't want to be with them anyways. You shouldn't have to change to fulfill your partner. It's normal to want to shoulder the blame at the end but the truth is if you're a bad match this will happen. I'd agree with your statement that she only stayed because it was the easier choice. You were not able to naturally make one another happy and that really makes any relationship unsustainable.
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