dsw31 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Ok so there's this guy I've been crushing on for a while now.I flirted with him in the past.I texted him one day "Just had to tell you that you looked so handsome today.Wait a minute...everyday!" His response was thank you! That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me" Ok so I kind of took that as a rejection & wanted to leave it at that. Next day I bump into him in person & he mentions the text & again says how sweet it was. Since then,he makes a concious effort to always say hi & pulls his car over to have small talk.I really think he likes me but, I'm not 100% sure. So last week, he's walking his dog & I'm in my car. His dog wanted to jump on my car door so, I joked with him that my old car got all scratched up from some dingbat letting her dogs scratch it.I said I wanted to ring her neck.I said no one better do it to my brand new car.We laughed etc.etc.. Today... I'm in my car again & his dog actually did jump on my car! The very thing we were joking about last week. I couldn't help it! I texted him after that happened This is what I sent ... K...This is my chance to flirt with you...you ready? It's a good thing you're so damn attractive,when (dog's name) jumped on my car today,I didn't even notice, or care! All I kept thinking was"Wow!This guy is so attractive!"I'm not kidding you(his name) That's all I was thinking!Lol!Anyway-there was no scratch so don't even think twice & also wanted to let you know how handsome you are.Hope I'm not making you uncomfortable. His response... You are my sunshine on a cloudy day & today was just one of them.Thank you sweetheart! Now keep in mind,(if this makes any difference) I'm American & he just came from Russia a few years ago.He is a super nice & shy guy (not what I'm used to) I just wanted to hear other people's opinion on his response. Is he just being nice? Taking it slow? Not interested? Is that a flirt back? I don't know what to make of a guy who is not an Alpha male.
MrNate 2.0 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Ok so there's this guy I've been crushing on for a while now.I flirted with him in the past.I texted him one day "Just had to tell you that you looked so handsome today.Wait a minute...everyday!" His response was thank you! That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me" Ok so I kind of took that as a rejection & wanted to leave it at that. Next day I bump into him in person & he mentions the text & again says how sweet it was. Since then,he makes a concious effort to always say hi & pulls his car over to have small talk.I really think he likes me but, I'm not 100% sure. So last week, he's walking his dog & I'm in my car. His dog wanted to jump on my car door so, I joked with him that my old car got all scratched up from some dingbat letting her dogs scratch it.I said I wanted to ring her neck.I said no one better do it to my brand new car.We laughed etc.etc.. Today... I'm in my car again & his dog actually did jump on my car! The very thing we were joking about last week. I couldn't help it! I texted him after that happened This is what I sent ... K...This is my chance to flirt with you...you ready? It's a good thing you're so damn attractive,when (dog's name) jumped on my car today,I didn't even notice, or care! All I kept thinking was"Wow!This guy is so attractive!"I'm not kidding you(his name) That's all I was thinking!Lol!Anyway-there was no scratch so don't even think twice & also wanted to let you know how handsome you are.Hope I'm not making you uncomfortable. His response... You are my sunshine on a cloudy day & today was just one of them.Thank you sweetheart! Now keep in mind,(if this makes any difference) I'm American & he just came from Russia a few years ago.He is a super nice & shy guy (not what I'm used to) I just wanted to hear other people's opinion on his response. Is he just being nice? Taking it slow? Not interested? Is that a flirt back? I don't know what to make of a guy who is not an Alpha male. C'mon now, you're about to get a one way ticket to the seldomly heard of man friend zone. Hold SOMETHING back. At least let the guy wonder some things about you. Most people are not attracted to someone they know they have in the bag. Make it a challenge. At least this way you can see what he thinks about you. Think about if a guy was calling you sooo attractive all of the time. Will your interest level be at its highest? Think about it.
FitChick Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Do you know if he is married or has a girlfriend, maybe back in Russia?
Author dsw31 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Do you know if he is married or has a girlfriend, maybe back in Russia? He is single, from what he has told me. I have wondered if he might be gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) because he's just too damn cute & tidy! Lol!
Michael Johnson Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Please clarify how is he not an "alpha male" in your eyes.
Pierre Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Ok so there's this guy I've been crushing on for a while now.I flirted with him in the past.I texted him one day "Just had to tell you that you looked so handsome today.Wait a minute...everyday!" His response was thank you! That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me" Ok so I kind of took that as a rejection & wanted to leave it at that. Next day I bump into him in person & he mentions the text & again says how sweet it was. Since then,he makes a concious effort to always say hi & pulls his car over to have small talk.I really think he likes me but, I'm not 100% sure. So last week, he's walking his dog & I'm in my car. His dog wanted to jump on my car door so, I joked with him that my old car got all scratched up from some dingbat letting her dogs scratch it.I said I wanted to ring her neck.I said no one better do it to my brand new car.We laughed etc.etc.. Today... I'm in my car again & his dog actually did jump on my car! The very thing we were joking about last week. I couldn't help it! I texted him after that happened This is what I sent ... K...This is my chance to flirt with you...you ready? It's a good thing you're so damn attractive,when (dog's name) jumped on my car today,I didn't even notice, or care! All I kept thinking was"Wow!This guy is so attractive!"I'm not kidding you(his name) That's all I was thinking!Lol!Anyway-there was no scratch so don't even think twice & also wanted to let you know how handsome you are.Hope I'm not making you uncomfortable. His response... You are my sunshine on a cloudy day & today was just one of them.Thank you sweetheart! Now keep in mind,(if this makes any difference) I'm American & he just came from Russia a few years ago.He is a super nice & shy guy (not what I'm used to) I just wanted to hear other people's opinion on his response. Is he just being nice? Taking it slow? Not interested? Is that a flirt back? I don't know what to make of a guy who is not an Alpha male. It is OK to show interest with a shy man. But, you are way over the top!!!!!! You are very intense and leave nothing to the imagination. A woman has a 1000 other ways to show interest on a guy. Sometimes subtle gets you more. It seems you have a different frame of reference regarding men.
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 Please clarify how is he not an "alpha male" in your eyes. He just seems shy around people if they don't say hello back to him, when he waves at them. He has told me how his boss mistreated him but, instead of standing up for himself(which he has every right to do in his circumstance)he will be looking for a whole new job. His body language is just not "alpha" I know that doesn't give you much but, I KNOW he's not alpha.
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 It is OK to show interest with a shy man. But, you are way over the top!!!!!! You are very intense and leave nothing to the imagination. A woman has a 1000 other ways to show interest on a guy. Sometimes subtle gets you more. It seems you have a different frame of reference regarding men. I thought I was being subtle! I wanted to tell him that all I could think about was boneing him! Hey...I already know dating him would not work because he seems very religous.I am not religious at all.
AD1980 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 He just seems shy around people if they don't say hello back to him, when he waves at them. He has told me how his boss mistreated him but, instead of standing up for himself(which he has every right to do in his circumstance)he will be looking for a whole new job. His body language is just not "alpha" I know that doesn't give you much but, I KNOW he's not alpha.[/quote Does every man have to be alpha?
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 He just seems shy around people if they don't say hello back to him, when he waves at them. He has told me how his boss mistreated him but, instead of standing up for himself(which he has every right to do in his circumstance)he will be looking for a whole new job. His body language is just not "alpha" I know that doesn't give you much but, I KNOW he's not alpha.[/quote Does every man have to be alpha? Not at all! That can't even be possible. Not sure why you're even asking because I'm telling you I like him despite the fact that he's not an alpha!
M2155 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Is this the same guy you mentioned before where you suggested hanging out or something? I got the same kind of responses from the dude I was into and when I finally asked if he wanted to meet up for coffee or something (because I just really wanted to) he told me he was already seeing someone. Maybe he was being friendly to be nice, because I will see him around or because that may not work out...not sure. A shame cause I haven't dug anyone like that for a long time:( I don't know, maybe he just got out of a relationship or something, you are definitely clear that you are flirting. I thought about gay too but dont really have much to go on. I don't know....I'd probably leave it alone for a while and then just next time you run into him say you are going to go grab a snack or something and ask if he wants to come along. But I'm back to my initial belief that if they are truly interested, they will act.
Feelsgoodman Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Now keep in mind,(if this makes any difference) I'm American & he just came from Russia a few years ago.He is a super nice & shy guy (not what I'm used to) I just wanted to hear other people's opinion on his response. Is he just being nice? Taking it slow? Not interested? Is that a flirt back? I don't know what to make of a guy who is not an Alpha male. By the sounds of it, he seems quite interested, but maybe a little shy (cultural differences perhaps play a role too). Where did you meet this guy and how did you get his phone number? Also, out of curiosity, which part of America are you from?
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 Is this the same guy you mentioned before where you suggested hanging out or something? I got the same kind of responses from the dude I was into and when I finally asked if he wanted to meet up for coffee or something (because I just really wanted to) he told me he was already seeing someone. Maybe he was being friendly to be nice, because I will see him around or because that may not work out...not sure. A shame cause I haven't dug anyone like that for a long time:( I don't know, maybe he just got out of a relationship or something, you are definitely clear that you are flirting. I thought about gay too but dont really have much to go on. I don't know....I'd probably leave it alone for a while and then just next time you run into him say you are going to go grab a snack or something and ask if he wants to come along. But I'm back to my initial belief that if they are truly interested, they will act. Hey M2155, Yes-that's me! I remember your story too- so sorry that didn't work out for you!! You made me laugh out loud though, when you said you thought your guy was gay too! You are right-though I will leave it alone for a while.My darn texting fingers! They get the best of me sometimes!Too easy to spill your guys in a minute with the push of a button! I was just curious to see if you guys thought the whole "sunshine on my cloudy days" thing was a good sign? I guess I should stop being so aggressive if I'm looking for a nice guy to be my next bf?
xpaperxcutx Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Ask yourself this question- if you have options would you be overthinking like this over one guy? Culture andethnic backgrounds aside. I don't believe a guy is ever too shy to ask out a girl. If that was the case you must be really intimidating an then that would truly make him a beta male. The things that you are doing wrong- you're giving him way too much attention than he deserves. Even your texts are ridiculous. Njever ever write so much in my text it makes you come off like you're trying hard to impress him. A guyh does notneed to be mpressed. They need a reason for why they should step up amd impress a girl. You're giving him a bone for doing nothing like rewarding a dog that has nothing except sit quietly in front of you.
fishtaco Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I think it's so refreshing that dsw31 is so forward. I think it's great. Most women would dangle the carrot and play all those games. That's the normal mode of operation. Hence I find this very refreshing. The dude is not interested. Sorry. But if you have the confidence to keep up the no-game game, then by all means, please do. I'm impressed. 3
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 By the sounds of it, he seems quite interested, but maybe a little shy (cultural differences perhaps play a role too). Where did you meet this guy and how did you get his phone number? Also, out of curiosity, which part of America are you from? Thanks Feelgoodman.I kind of felt that way too. We both have the same career & see each other passing by.He moved to anther area so he offered to exchange numbers, incase any new business propositions come about.He told me to call the number & listen to his voicemail greeting to listen to how cute his neice is.I did & then texted him that 1st message about looking handsome. I live in a big city but I'm prefer not to disclose that to everyone.Sorry!
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 Ask yourself this question- if you have options would you be overthinking like this over one guy? Culture andethnic backgrounds aside. I don't believe a guy is ever too shy to ask out a girl. If that was the case you must be really intimidating an then that would truly make him a beta male. The things that you are doing wrong- you're giving him way too much attention than he deserves. Even your texts are ridiculous. Njever ever write so much in my text it makes you come off like you're trying hard to impress him. A guyh does notneed to be mpressed. They need a reason for why they should step up amd impress a girl. You're giving him a bone for doing nothing like rewarding a dog that has nothing except sit quietly in front of you. XpaperXcutsX, All very true!- Very good analogy with the dog getting praised for nothing.Impressive! But, why are you assuming I have so many options? I mean,,,I have a lot of sh*tty options! I am suuuper picky & this guy fits the bill.The fact that he's playing hard to get probably helps alot.I know I should be playing hard to get but, I guess I'm used to getting what I want.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Oh, goodness. I so don't agree that the dog analogy is a good one. We aren't throwing out bones to men. Besides, I am a professional dog trainer, and a dog who does nothing but sit quietly in front of me is often deserving of a treat and does receive one, because sitting quietly is a behavior that is good to reinforce in our canine friends. And, I KNOW that some guys really are too shy to ask a girl out. Still, OP, IMO you have gone overboard a bit and now you should scale it back. Take it a bit slow! Save some of the lavish praise for when you actually are dating the guy! 3
Pierre Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 If this guy is a shy man there is also the possibility he sees OP as a very easy woman that gets around and hence he is not interested. OP may do better by being much more subtle.
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 Thanks for all this great feedback everyone! I will stop pursueing him at this point.If he's interested, he knows how to reach me. Now my question is?? How do I be more subtle when flirting with a guy?I am naturally very outspoken & horny! Lol! Maybe this should be a whole new seperate thread? Ant tips would be good! Thanks again Loveshackers!
Pierre Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Thanks for all this great feedback everyone! I will stop pursueing him at this point.If he's interested, he knows how to reach me. Now my question is?? How do I be more subtle when flirting with a guy?I am naturally very outspoken & horny! Lol! Maybe this should be a whole new seperate thread? Ant tips would be good! Thanks again Loveshackers! A woman that is openly horny and ready to f****k may be a good thing for what you call Alfa. I suspect, your definition of Alfa is a man that f****ks anything that moves and is outspoken. Some men are more serious and do not see much of a challenge in a horny woman that is too aggressive. The art of seduction includes mystery and a playful back and forth dance. I will tell you that the art of flirting is difficult to learn and most of the time women are born that way. Your concept of flirting is not really flirting.
M2155 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 The cloudy day comment sounds cheesy...but nice:confused:. But a guy that wants to get to know you would say something more flirty- that sounds like something my grandpa would say. I didn't think my guy was gay (we clicked way too much lol), I was following your thought process on your story (but not enough to go with gay)...I'm still inclined to think he's got something else going on. This was my position too, you can't keep pointless flirting. So that's why I just backed off for a while and asked when i had an oprning because it was driving me nuts. Even though as you know I didn't think he was intersted either, and unfortunately I was right.
M2155 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 For me the alpha-male is just a dominant personality. He would definitely not be shy when he wants to pursue. OP, we flirt with subtle actions and relatablity. Throw out the bait but not be so direct. I dont have any tips but try reading "how to make anyone fall in love with you" by Leil Lowndes. It's not about flirting specifically but some interesting points on showing interest.
Author dsw31 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 I guess I don't understand what you guys mean by "I'm too out there" or "way too much" I just complimented the guy on his looks.I thought anyone could appreciate a heartfelt compliment? BTW-Pierre-I see you started a post about women asking guys out & you obviously have a problem with it,that's fine,you're entitled to your opinion. Just to let you know-just because I am a sexual person doesn't mean I do it with anything that moves.I seriously would only entertain the thought of sex with 1 guy out of a million.
MrNate 2.0 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I guess I don't understand what you guys mean by "I'm too out there" or "way too much" I just complimented the guy on his looks.I thought anyone could appreciate a heartfelt compliment? If I were a man reading this, my mental pattern would be along the lines of: K...This is my chance to flirt with you...you ready? Don't say it. Just do it. It's a good thing you're so damn attractive,when (dog's name) jumped on my car today,I didn't even notice, or care! All I kept thinking was"Wow!This guy is so attractive!" How many times are you going to tell me I'm attractive? You're making this way too easy. No one values anything easily given. I'm not kidding you(his name) That's all I was thinking!Lol!Anyway-there was no scratch so don't even think twice & also wanted to let you know how handsome you are.Hope I'm not making you uncomfortable. Still telling me how handsome I am for the 100th time? And you are not exactly making me uncomfortable, but turning me off because you're not giving me a chance to grow on you. 2
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