eftn87 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 ... Help Ok this is a long story .... me and my ex had an okay relationship ...it seemed to go downhill once I moved in with him and he got a car for me in his name. I'm a Capricorn -Saggitaruis cusp and he's a Saggitaruis -scorpio cusp....30 days after he got the car for me in his name he broke up with me because he needed his space..so I moved in with my mother for 3 months but that didn't last... I then had to move back in with him cause I had no where to go... While I was there him and I agreed to not speak or have sex with anyone else..I found out he was having sex w someone .. I ended up forgiving him we got back together for 1 week then I broke up with him because he wasn't trying to change for me as I tried everything to make him happy ... I ended up pregnant ...I moved out and got my own apartment ... I ended up getting an abortion because he was calling or keeping in contact with me like he should have..he was and still talking to multiple girls ... he keeps telling me that he just wants to be friends and once we overcome the past we can be together ..he hates talking about our relationship ..he never calls he just texts every now and then..he always tells me I need too much attention ..I just don't know what to do... my gut tells me to ignore him and then he will miss me and come back...but then I'm scared if I ignore him he will just forget about me...the reason I care so much is because he makes me better and I just don't understand why he does this to me... I feel like because I have this car in his name he thinks ill always be around ...help!!!
Starman8 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 This guy seems like a real jerk. You nor anyone else doesn't need to put up with that much crap. You said yourself that the relationship was "ok" at best. I assume that's when he wasn't playing games, or being manipulative, or stringing you along, or fooling around behind your back. Wouldn't you like to have a relationship that you could say was great? Well, you can!!! Just not with this guy, cause he's never going to change. You're this guy's plan B and will always be in that position. I've been someone's plan B before, and I thought it would change. It never does. I suggest you get rid of this guy fast. You should really do some work on yourself and just work on making yourself happy for awhile. You'll attract all sorts of healthy guys that way. Guys that won't play games and will want to spend time with you. It won't be easy, but it's gonna be the best thing for you. Love yourself and the rest will take care of itself. You got this. Best wishes! 3
Mr Scorpio Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 The two of you lived together and he purchased a car for you. He is not going to forget you. He says that he only wants to be friends with you, yet claims that if you work out past problems you can be "together", but he doesn't want to talk about the relationship? Do your best to forget about this guy and move on. Work on yourself. Work on your education. Work on your career. Enhance yourself so that you will never be dependent and forced to live with a guy who treats you poorly. 1
Author eftn87 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 This guy seems like a real jerk. You nor anyone else doesn't need to put up with that much crap. You said yourself that the relationship was "ok" at best. I assume that's when he wasn't playing games, or being manipulative, or stringing you along, or fooling around behind your back. Wouldn't you like to have a relationship that you could say was great? Well, you can!!! Just not with this guy, cause he's never going to change. You're this guy's plan B and will always be in that position. I've been someone's plan B before, and I thought it would change. It never does. I suggest you get rid of this guy fast. You should really do some work on yourself and just work on making yourself happy for awhile. You'll attract all sorts of healthy guys that way. Guys that won't play games and will want to spend time with you. It won't be easy, but it's gonna be the best thing for you. Love yourself and the rest will take care of itself. You got this. Best wishes! Thanks I really needed to hear this... its crazy how he just lost his job and now the only time he texts me is to ask me about jobs or how Unemployment works... I've decided to give him the silent treatment ..because I feel like everytime I give in...and try to be nice he hurts me... I'm a good woman... I've been bringing him food sometimes because I know he doesn't have nothing to eat .. on Sunday when I came over he told me he won the championship game ( in a community basketball league) ... I got upset because he told me he'd invite me... then shortly after he said that his phone rang and he ignored it...(it was past 11pm)So I just got up and politely left. I know I need to work on myself because this isn't healthy .. I feel crazy sometimes
Author eftn87 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 The two of you lived together and he purchased a car for you. He is not going to forget you. He says that he only wants to be friends with you, yet claims that if you work out past problems you can be "together", but he doesn't want to talk about the relationship? Do your best to forget about this guy and move on. Work on yourself. Work on your education. Work on your career. Enhance yourself so that you will never be dependent and forced to live with a guy who treats you poorly. We lived together and he signed for a car for me... he didn't put no money down or make a payment .. I think he did this so he could trap me...smh... but I've decided to give him the silent treatment
Starman8 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I wouldn't use silent treatment if I were you, I'd just totally ditch this guy. Silent treatment is a method used to control people and it comes from a place of weakness. My ex used to do this to me when we would have a problem and she was in the wrong. This was her method of getting back in control. It made me feel horrible, like I was being punished. By using silent treatment to get something from this guy, you are bringing yourself down to his level. If you leave this guy and don't look back and use the time to only make yourself better, you are not weak but strong. Eventually you can use that strength and confidence to get someone better. Silent treatment and no contact are two totally different things. One comes from a place of weakness and the other from a place of power. This guy is dirt. Where was he when he got you pregnant? He ran away like a coward. You don't want anything to do with a coward. What happens if he got you pregnant again? You don't want to be in another situation like that with this guy. That would be hell.
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