LostGirl11 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) I had an argument with my ex today, we were texting and were agreeing that we are no good for eachother, so I said what I had to say, nothing nasty just basically told him what he had done and how it wasn't very nice, I said bye and to take care ect then BAM!! A two page text full of name calling and insults. I was in utter shock! I cried my eyes out. He reminded me of a horrible bully, he wouldnt stop texting me vile things for two hours. He hurt me enough so why did he have to take things this far? The last text was something like 'Look, i'm going out tonight to get laid, I'm done with looking for relationships'. I mean come on, thats a low blow and very childish. I actually laughed at the pathetic-ness of this. Then I done something crazy, I started to question myself and feel guilty?!? I feel so stupid for thinking that he was one of the decent ones! Why do dumpers do this? Its pretty cruel. What's the most hateful thing your ex said to you that made you think, 'Wow, you're a nasty piece of work'.. Edited April 30, 2012 by LostGirl11 2
flitzanu Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 there's a good chance he's doing it because he dumped you and you won't leave him alone. if you don't talk to him or discuss "what he did wrong" then he has no reason to lash out at you.
Author LostGirl11 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 there's a good chance he's doing it because he dumped you and you won't leave him alone. if you don't talk to him or discuss "what he did wrong" then he has no reason to lash out at you. I went NC, he contacted me so it wasn't a case of me being a psycho ex.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I had an argument with my ex today, we were texting and were agreeing that we are no good for eachother, so I said what I had to say, nothing nasty just basically told him what he had done and how it wasn't very nice, I said bye and to take care ect then BAM!! A two page text full of name calling and insults. I was in utter shock! I cried my eyes out. He reminded me of a horrible bully, he wouldnt stop texting me vile things for two hours. He hurt me enough so why did he have to take things this far? The last text was something like 'Look, i'm going out tonight to get laid, I'm done with looking for relationships'. I mean come on, thats a low blow and very childish. I actually laughed at the pathetic-ness of this. Then I done something crazy, I started to question myself and feel guilty?!? I feel so stupid for thinking that he was one of the decent ones! Why do dumpers do this? Its pretty cruel. What's the most hateful thing your ex said to you that made you think, 'Wow, you're a nasty piece of work'.. I am so sorry you had to deal with this===but it should solidify that this is not someone you want to be with because of that alone. It's abuse. My ex did this to me and often. It came out of left field; he would do something inappropriate, I would call him on it and he would blow up my phone with horrid texts. "you are evil." was one=it stood alone and was out of the blue. It scared the crap out of me considering that was his first text to me that day. It was because I became friends with someone he felt I had no business being friends with, and that friend blocked him. He called me "psycho", "insane", "sinister", a "whore", "lazy", "stupid", "deciever", "liar", and compared me to another woman saying "SHE doesn't give me the drama that you do!", etc. He belittled me quite a lot, especially during the fights he would start. Those are some of the nicer names. But he would go off on tangents and become misogynistic. Knowing he was capable of exploding like this, it was the last straw for me. I couldn't take it anymore.
daisy088 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Be careful My first serious relationship ended in a messy way and I carried on contact with the ex for a year after we broke up! He would say horrible things like you are saying (cursing at me, calling me over and over, erratic behavior) and as time went on, the abuse got worse and more and more cruel (he hit me towards the end of the year we remained in contact). End contact NOW. Do not respond to his texts or calls and even better, change your number and block him everywhere. He sounds narcissistic and abusive. Being in contact with someone like this, and fantasizing about the good times with them, can destroy your self-worth/self-esteem and make you feel worse than you already do! Run away FAST 3
shayla Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 my ex dumped me by email after I saw the other woman announce their engagement on facebook. it was full of lies and talking about how much he loved her. he married her two months later. He was very cruel and abusive.
Author LostGirl11 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 I am so sorry you had to deal with this===but it should solidify that this is not someone you want to be with because of that alone. It's abuse. My ex did this to me and often. It came out of left field; he would do something inappropriate, I would call him on it and he would blow up my phone with horrid texts. "you are evil." was one=it stood alone and was out of the blue. It scared the crap out of me considering that was his first text to me that day. It was because I became friends with someone he felt I had no business being friends with, and that friend blocked him. He called me "psycho", "insane", "sinister", a "whore", "lazy", "stupid", "deciever", "liar", and compared me to another woman saying "SHE doesn't give me the drama that you do!", etc. He belittled me quite a lot, especially during the fights he would start. Those are some of the nicer names. But he would go off on tangents and become misogynistic. Knowing he was capable of exploding like this, it was the last straw for me. I couldn't take it anymore. The thing is, I actually questioned myself after the name calling and insults. I'm still in shock. I've never been spoken to like that by a man. He was vile! Why did he do it? Well he has said he never wants to talk to me again, this makes me feel sad but I know he isnt any good. 3 words sums him up, spiteful little boy. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 The thing is, I actually questioned myself after the name calling and insults. I'm still in shock. I've never been spoken to like that by a man. He was vile! Why did he do it? Well he has said he never wants to talk to me again, this makes me feel sad but I know he isnt any good. 3 words sums him up, spiteful little boy. And if he thinks he could undo all that, he is sadly mistaken. I totally get the shock you are in, and the sadness. He overstepped a boundary and is quite immature. He hurt your feelings; it's natural for you to be sad---but be glad and take comfort in the fact that it's over---you found out now rather than later. Love how they abuse and then never want to talk to us again, lOL. Mine said "I am done with you!!" At that point all I could do was shrug it off. Vile is a good term for it. He isn't any good---keep remembering that. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 And if he thinks he could undo all that, he is sadly mistaken. I totally get the shock you are in, and the sadness. He overstepped a boundary and is quite immature. He hurt your feelings; it's natural for you to be sad---but be glad and take comfort in the fact that it's over---you found out now rather than later. Love how they abuse and then never want to talk to us again, lOL. Mine said "I am done with you!!" At that point all I could do was shrug it off. Vile is a good term for it. He isn't any good---keep remembering that. He was acting like he hated me! All I done was state what he done, I didn't call him any names nor did I insult him. Do you think it was a guilt thing?
geegirl Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 He was acting like he hated me! All I done was state what he done, I didn't call him any names nor did I insult him. Do you think it was a guilt thing? He didn't like that you called him out and he retaliated. If you're going to dig at him, then he's going to dig at you. He took it a little too far and said whatever he could to cause you pain. I've been on the receiving side of the aftermath and the best thing to do is ignore. You won't get very far with these types. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 He didn't like that you called him out and he retaliated. If you're going to dig at him, then he's going to dig at you. He took it a little too far and said whatever he could to cause you pain. I've been on the receiving side of the aftermath and the best thing to do is ignore. You won't get very far with these types. I don't think what he done was digging, it was way more than that.
geegirl Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I don't think what he done was digging, it was way more than that. That is why I said he took it too far.
flitzanu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 i'm telling you, as a guy, it's really simple. you "attacked" him, he attacked back. he's the one that dumped you, so automatically he's less guilty than you about hurting your feelings, and he isn't going to hold back on what he wants to say.
esteem-jam Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 so I said what I had to say, nothing nasty just basically told him what he had done and how it wasn't very nice, I said bye and to take care Somewhere there you hurt him. I think he was displaying nice, decent guy mask all the time, but his "vessel" was full (or glass/patience ..). Well it wasnt a mask, he really cared and wanted to make it work. Perhaps "bending" too much. The title says Cruel dumpers. Was he really the dumper? Or you just dragged it so that you wont be together? To me it sounds like nice guy + selfish girl story, and now you have a reason that justifies your breakup. Classic, IMO.
shayla Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 They are so good at manipulating that they can abuse you and then treat you like you are the one with the problem! All your fault...if you had not done this, if you had not done that. Don't fall for that! There are a million things a person can do when they are hurt and verbally and mentally abusing someone is not the victim's fault. That is something that the perpetrator wants to do. 2
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 i'm telling you, as a guy, it's really simple. you "attacked" him, he attacked back. he's the one that dumped you, so automatically he's less guilty than you about hurting your feelings, and he isn't going to hold back on what he wants to say. I didn't attack. He said some vile things, there wasn't any need for it. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 That is why I said he took it too far. Yes he did. way too far. It amazes me how some men on here think that it's ok..
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 i'm telling you, as a guy, it's really simple. you "attacked" him, he attacked back. he's the one that dumped you, so automatically he's less guilty than you about hurting your feelings, and he isn't going to hold back on what he wants to say. If I attacked him, called him names, insulted him and got personal I would understand, but I didn't.
geegirl Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) If I attacked him, called him names, insulted him and got personal I would understand, but I didn't. That's YOUR interpretation of "attack". He took your words as an attack, in his own mind. You "attacked" him by calling him out on his behavior. He got defensive and went after you, in his own way. Edited May 1, 2012 by geegirl
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 That's YOUR interpretation of "attack". He took your words as an attack, in his own mind. You "attacked" him by calling him out on his behavior. He got defensive and went after you, in his own way. Yeah I know what you mean. He lost his temper and couldn't control himself.
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 i'm telling you, as a guy, it's really simple. you "attacked" him, he attacked back. he's the one that dumped you, so automatically he's less guilty than you about hurting your feelings, and he isn't going to hold back on what he wants to say. If she called him out on shady behavior, that isn't attacking; it's letting him know; it's communicating. How else is one supposed to let someone know that there is something amiss? Rather than have a mature conversation about it, he calls her vile names and such. He attacked her. 2
BewitchedandBothered Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 They are so good at manipulating that they can abuse you and then treat you like you are the one with the problem! All your fault...if you had not done this, if you had not done that. Don't fall for that! There are a million things a person can do when they are hurt and verbally and mentally abusing someone is not the victim's fault. That is something that the perpetrator wants to do. thank goodness you said this. I don't feel the OP 'attacked' him and warranted his behavior. Some feel it's her fault!!! Here is an example of something I had said to my ex; mind you, we were in a serious relationship, or so he led me to believe. Me: "I'm getting uncomfortable when you ask other ladies out for dates on Facebook. If you would rather date others, we should discuss it." Him: "So you're going to start nagging me? what you a psycho? I can't talk to friends or give them an innocent compliment? YOU ARE INSANE! STOP SPYING ON ME!!!!! I HAVE PROOF THAT YOU HAVE 5 DIFFERENT FACEBOOK ALIASES JUST SO YOU CAN SPY ON ME!!!!! I WAS FAITHFUL TO MY EX WIFE FOR 18 YEARS!!!!! I AM SO DONE WITH YOU, YOU ANIMAL!!!!!!! I THINK YOU SHOULD GET THERAPY!!!!!!YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!! PSYCHO!!!!!!!!!" ....literally5 minutes later, as was always the timing on his tangents: Him (text): Hi, sunshine:) would you like to go see some lovely Fall foliage with me and dinner perhaps? xoxoxoxox Who attacked whom? This is not a trick question. He accused me of attacking him all the time---but his behavior was terrible and I wanted to discuss it. If a person has a question about another person's actions, and they simply want to talk it over, it is not an attack. I am not one to say nothing and just let the other person walk all over me. Just saying'.
Sugarkane Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Did we date the same person? He sounds abusive and a complete liar. My ex dumped me by text after a year. All I got was lame excuses that didn't make any sense at all. And everything was somehow my fault, WTF was his 50%? Yet I was called crazy and psycho. Hypocrite much? I hope you never take this P.O.S coward back no matter what. 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 If she called him out on shady behavior, that isn't attacking; it's letting him know; it's communicating. How else is one supposed to let someone know that there is something amiss? Rather than have a mature conversation about it, he calls her vile names and such. He attacked her. I honestly wouln't start a thread if I was the one that started the attacking. And yes all I done was call him out. I wasn't horrible about it in any way so I have no idea why he felt the need to attack and send abusive texts back. I was thinking earlier if I should contact him and ask if we could just forget about it and both move on with no bad feelings, that's the kind of person I am, call me weak I didn't contact him though nor am I going to. 1
WildHorses Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 Bewitched and Confused is right. It is a form of abuse. It is not okay. I have had ex boyfriend that were verbally abusive and it not okay. When the abuse starts, it does not stop, and it only gets worse. I have been called just about everything, no reason for me to write it out. It's not okay and I will no longer tolerate the things I went through. When people are upset, there are healthier ways to discuss things, then put somebody down.
Recommended Posts