mvosu1 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Hello, I have been dating this girl for a little while and I have a question. Since we began dating and getting closer she has always told me I'm too good to her and treat her too good. on the flip side, she also tells me everyday day how much she loves me and how she didn't know what she would do without me. She also says she loves spending time with me and is not sick of me at all. then at times she will text me I love you followed by i don't deserve you with an "" at the end. So, the question is, what do I make of her saying things like "I don't deserve you," "Don't know what I would do without you" or "You are too good for me"? Are they sings of her trying to make me back off?
TigerCub Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 No these are things that display her insecurity and how badly she thinks of herself. Its nice to appreciate the person you're dating and definitely good to have someone so amazing that they make you feel lucky that they're in your life - but its totally unhealthy when someone thinks that they don't deserve the person they're with, or that they are so bad that its a miracle that they are with someone at all. This girl has major insecurity and self esteem issues.
NeverDated Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 You should ignore it. They are typically signs of insecurity and validation seeking. There are times when those comments are appropriate/cute. For example, my boyfriend just rearranged our whole house, and I told him, "You're way too good to me and I sooo don't deserve you!" as a kind of appreciative joke. But random/unprompted comments like that show that she's unsure of her own worth and she's afraid to some degree that she's being used. More or less, she's preoccupied with a concern over someone treating her better than she feels she deserves.
Pierre Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Hello, I have been dating this girl for a little while and I have a question. Since we began dating and getting closer she has always told me I'm too good to her and treat her too good. on the flip side, she also tells me everyday day how much she loves me and how she didn't know what she would do without me. She also says she loves spending time with me and is not sick of me at all. then at times she will text me I love you followed by i don't deserve you with an "" at the end. So, the question is, what do I make of her saying things like "I don't deserve you," "Don't know what I would do without you" or "You are too good for me"? Are they sings of her trying to make me back off? She is very insecure and ill at ease with you because she feels you are too good for her. However, at the same time she feels lucky to have you. She is also looking for external validation to feel good and hence she keeps saying she is not good enough. It is your job to provide admiration and validation. If you fail to provide validation she may actually seek validation elsewhere with someone beneath you. I say someone beneath you because she may feel more comfortable with someone at her level. She may also learn to resent you for being too good to her. These women hate "Mr Perfect" and are more attracted to losers. So be careful! 1
mortensorchid Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 SHe is certainly saying that she thinks you are too good for her. I would approach this with caution, because not only is she insecure but she might be the one to break it off because she feels too insecure to continue being with you. It's happened to me in the past. You spend all the time trying to coax and coddle the person with "Oh no honey, you are wonderful! Don't talk about yourself like that!", but it falls on deaf ears half the time. Either say directly to her "Please stop saying that to me" or resolve it and end things now rather than later.
dasein Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Every time I've heard that there was another guy(s) in the picture. No idea about your girl though. 1
Quiet Storm Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I agree with dasein. When someone tells you they don't deserve you, believe them.
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