Have I got anything to lose by asking her what her intentions are? (with her contact)

May 2, 2012

It sounds like there might be another guy in the picture. It does sound like she's tested the water to see if you still have any interest, but it's a half-assed effort. Do you know if she's seeing anyone, or was seeing anyone? She obviously has some interest in you, but if she's not all-in(and she's obviously not), then there's probably someone else she's interested in or possibly pursuing. If you've already had conversations with her and she keeps going cold, then it's probably best to leave it be. She knows how to reach you if/when she's ready to state her intentions.

The guy she got with after the break up and was going out with up until very recently. I only realised they had broken up however after she had first texted me asking to meet up and my friend said she was no longer listed as in a relationship on Facebook, however it appeared to be recent as he had written on her wall then and there. My friends kept an eye on it for me and said they haven't had any interactions since and she didn't even leave him a happy birthday message on his bday the other week so I don't there's anything going on there, they were LD and it always looked like it wouldn't work because of that.

I've also looked on her twitter. There was a post, only about a week ago where she tweeted "Got tummy butterflies. The good kind :)". That sounds like it's referring to romance doesn't it? So maybe there is another guy on the scene.

May 2, 2012

How many threads have you created about this situation? 3 that I can remember. 3 Threads for one text message.

People are writing essays and paragraphs and boundary crashing other people all over one text message. Those of us that have behaved like your ex in the past have told you what that text message meant. It meant nothing. She cared about you for a few seconds in a day to say hi, thats it. You continue to create huge debates looking for the meaning and the psychology and stuff behind it.

Let it go. If she wants you back it will be made crystal clear that she wants you back. She will tell you either on the phone or to your face. Anything else means nothing.

This was the first thread about it for almost two weeks. I made another one because I've felt lower than ever these past two days and needed good advice and also to get some it off my chest.

You are also oversimplifying it massively.

May 2, 2012

Let me put it to you more simple...

You've got everything to lose by asking what she means by her breadcrumbs!

She will know that you are just her doormat waiting for her to return, anytime she pleases.You are giving her the confidence to keep looking for greener grass, knowing you'll be her safety net anytime she needs it.

She has to experience really not having you, to know if she genuinely misses you.

Improve yourself & let her go...

If she wants you (some time in the future)-she will be very clear about it.

May 2, 2012

No you are being a female and over analyzing it.

It means nothing, people in gigs that leave breadcrumbs dont care about anything including themselves. They might have a moment in a day where they do shoot out a text or a breadcrumb but thats it.

Been there done that and have the Tshirt which i will sell to you for 1000 dollars if you want

May 2, 2012

That's what I do...overanalize

But I still think I'm right

May 2, 2012

No you are being a female and over analyzing it.

It means nothing, people in gigs that leave breadcrumbs dont care about anything including themselves. They might have a moment in a day where they do shoot out a text or a breadcrumb but thats it.

Been there done that and have the Tshirt which i will sell to you for 1000 dollars if you want

I honestly believe you're wrong in this matter.

The girl twice used a hidden agenda (the document) to contact me and even phoned me for seemingly no reason. That strikes me as slightly desperate and someone who has been thinking long on hard on ways to reach me.

I still don't believe she wholeheartedly wants me back but there's certainly more to it than "a moment in the day where she happened to think of you". It might be better for me moving on to think like that certainly, but it's not the truth.

May 2, 2012

Let me put it to you more simple...

You've got everything to lose by asking what she means by her breadcrumbs!

She will know that you are just her doormat waiting for her to return, anytime she pleases.You are giving her the confidence to keep looking for greener grass, knowing you'll be her safety net anytime she needs it.

She has to experience really not having you, to know if she genuinely misses you.

Improve yourself & let her go...

If she wants you (some time in the future)-she will be very clear about it.

Yeah I'm definitely not going to text her and ask her what she means.

Do you believe i should not reply to her if she contacts me again?

May 2, 2012

Keep lying to yourself then, you know more then me obviously. My ex didnt do the same thing to me the past 4 months. Unlike you, Ive lived in her shoes and it means nothing. The document was just a way to say hi, her recent things are just a way to say hi. Shes not in her right mind or her left mind for that matter.

You are reading what you want to read, call you mom up or anyone that has grown up and ask her what it means, she will tell you the same thing.

May 2, 2012

She just wants to know you are still miserable without her.Once she sees she still can have you at anytime...she's comfortable proceeding with her "adventures"

May 2, 2012

I honestly believe you're wrong in this matter.

The girl twice used a hidden agenda (the document) to contact me and even phoned me for seemingly no reason. That strikes me as slightly desperate and someone who has been thinking long on hard on ways to reach me.

I still don't believe she wholeheartedly wants me back but there's certainly more to it than "a moment in the day where she happened to think of you". It might be better for me moving on to think like that certainly, but it's not the truth.

actually it is that, there's a moment in the day where i might text an ex or someone i fooled around with, and it'll mean nothing. It's done out of boredom and as a probe/ego trip/ curiosity/safety net.

May 2, 2012

Keep lying to yourself then, you know more then me obviously. My ex didnt do the same thing to me the past 4 months. Unlike you, Ive lived in her shoes and it means nothing. The document was just a way to say hi, her recent things are just a way to say hi. Shes not in her right mind or her left mind for that matter.

You are reading what you want to read, call you mom up or anyone that has grown up and ask her what it means, she will tell you the same thing.

Ok, I appreciate that you have a lot more experience in these matters than me BUT that doesn't mean that it means nothing.

It might not mean she wants me back, but that doesn't mean it means nothing (that's a lot of means).

I appreciate you're input and you've posted several helpful things in my threads through the break up. You told me in the past that she's not ready to come back yet, she's just checking in. I'll know when/if she's ready.

I just don't understand the checking in concept. Maybe just because It's not something I would tend to do, I'm overly rational when it comes to things which might actually be why I analyse irrational stuff from my ex.

May 2, 2012

Maybe just because It's not something I would tend to do, I'm overly rational when it comes to things which might actually be why I analyse irrational stuff from my ex.

You are trying compare apples and oranges, rational(you...black and white) and irrational(her...full spectrum of colors)

You wont understand hence why we tell you to let it go... in the full spectrum of colors it means nothing

May 2, 2012

You are trying compare apples and oranges, rational(you...black and white) and irrational(her...full spectrum of colors)

You wont understand hence why we tell you to let it go... in the full spectrum of colors it means nothing

Yeah.

I gotta get to bed. Tomorrow's a whole new day to try and forget about this stuff I guess.

May 2, 2012

speaking out of turn here, Wilsonx is telling you what you NEED to hear. you don't WANT to hear it. that's abundandtly clear.

you're saying it isn't this simple, but it TRULY is. it's JUST THAT SIMPLE.

you know why we have language? to communicate. "i don't want to be with you" means that. "i want to be with you" means that.

don't read between the lines.

or, since this means something so complex, what's happened since this event? if it meant something...new things would be in motion, so what are those things?

May 2, 2012

speaking out of turn here, Wilsonx is telling you what you NEED to hear. you don't WANT to hear it. that's abundandtly clear.

you're saying it isn't this simple, but it TRULY is. it's JUST THAT SIMPLE.

you know why we have language? to communicate. "i don't want to be with you" means that. "i want to be with you" means that.

don't read between the lines.

or, since this means something so complex, what's happened since this event? if it meant something...new things would be in motion, so what are those things?

Just trying to figure out where she's at, that's all and I don't really understand it any better when you simply say "she's just saying Hi". That doesn't really mean anything and doesn't adress the fact that she is or at least has at some point reconcidered reconciliation.

May 2, 2012

I have read on this forum that trying to, as they say, second-guess why the ex- is thinking this or what they are thinking at all, is just a waste of time and I think this is true.

You can never hope to really find out what is going on in her mind, so really, all you can do is to listen to advice from others, because others are more likely to be dispassionate and give you advice from the head, not counsel of the heart.

May 3, 2012

Just trying to figure out where she's at, that's all and I don't really understand it any better when you simply say "she's just saying Hi". That doesn't really mean anything and doesn't adress the fact that she is or at least has at some point reconcidered reconciliation.

oh so she wants reconciliation? well that's pretty awesome, how is all that going then? what else did she say about it?

May 3, 2012

If you are just going to sit and argue with everything everyone says then just text her put yourself out your misery. Once you get a reply come back and tell everyone they were right, which they will be.

May 4, 2012

If you are just going to sit and argue with everything everyone says then just text her put yourself out your misery. Once you get a reply come back and tell everyone they were right, which they will be.

Not sitting and arguing with what everyone is saying. Having a discussion here, feel free to join if you want.

I should also add that I've said myself many posts ago that I wasn't going to mail her, after the advice I've got in here.

May 4, 2012

oh so she wants reconciliation? well that's pretty awesome, how is all that going then? what else did she say about it?

I didn't say she wanted it, i said she will have considered it.

Doesn't really matter anyway. I am doing better now, don't have to sit and go through the finalities because I'm doing my best to forget about it.

Thanks for all the advice guys.

May 4, 2012

I totally understand MIK. Sometimes we have to post here to be talked out of contacting. I totally get it. And I would rather people do that.

May 4, 2012

MIK1k,

I resonate with you. My EX has been trying to contact me for the past month after 3 months NC, and she recently lost her cool...called me 139841131351 times. (Read my thread in the Second Chances subforum if you want.) Naturally, I over-analyzed the whole situation and tried to imagine what was going on in her head; it was a really rough week.

But honestly.. the only advice I can give you is to give her time and space. Let her drunken stupor of emotions fade away and allow her to sober up on her own. The reason she is leaving breadcrumbs around is purely due to a shock factor. After being with you for quite some time, a few months of separation will feel... unreal and very unnatural. The truth hasn't settled into reality for her yet. By leaving her alone, she will reflect and see what she really wants. There's nothing you can do to change her mind; she's got all the power.

At the same time, don't wait around for her. Keep your head up, socialize, make friends, and keep yourself busy.

Good luck to the both of us

May 7, 2012

MIK1k,

I resonate with you. My EX has been trying to contact me for the past month after 3 months NC, and she recently lost her cool...called me 139841131351 times. (Read my thread in the Second Chances subforum if you want.) Naturally, I over-analyzed the whole situation and tried to imagine what was going on in her head; it was a really rough week.

But honestly.. the only advice I can give you is to give her time and space. Let her drunken stupor of emotions fade away and allow her to sober up on her own. The reason she is leaving breadcrumbs around is purely due to a shock factor. After being with you for quite some time, a few months of separation will feel... unreal and very unnatural. The truth hasn't settled into reality for her yet. By leaving her alone, she will reflect and see what she really wants. There's nothing you can do to change her mind; she's got all the power.

At the same time, don't wait around for her. Keep your head up, socialize, make friends, and keep yourself busy.

Good luck to the both of us

Thanks man, i'll give you're thread a read. I definitely plan on just leaving it be and being my own man.

A strange thing happened yesterday though. Basically I was at the train station and got off the train and and she was just getting off too. I was walking up the steps when I saw her and whistled at her to get her attention with a smile on my face. She basically looked at me and just looked away, clearly ignoring me. I just walked on puzzled by the fact that she was ignoring me.

Then I figured it out. The last time I was in teh club at the same as her (2 weekends ago) I was very drunk and can barely remember flirting/dancing and buying a drink for a girl that she has had a long standing fued with (however they'd made amends I believe). She's obviously very pissed off about it which is understanable, but i shouldn't feel bad after what she did to me.

I spoke to the girl in question last night when I met her in the same club and she told me that my ex's friend had a go at her after they saw me and her flirting/dancing.

Do you think this is a good thing? A- I'm showing her i don't really care anymore. Or B- makes me looks sad and mean?

I'm pleased with how I was still cheery and friendly when I saw her though.

May 7, 2012

about 15 minutes after posting the above I get a text from my ex just now telling me how her mum met mine in the supermarket and how she didn't realise it was me yesterday and wasn't trying to be rude.

Is it time to start ignoring her? Or reply with a cordial text saying don't worry about it?

May 7, 2012

about 15 minutes after posting the above I get a text from my ex just now telling me how her mum met mine in the supermarket and how she didn't realise it was me yesterday and wasn't trying to be rude.

Is it time to start ignoring her? Or reply with a cordial text saying don't worry about it?

no, you should totally ask her out now that she is reaching out to you. the fact that she took the time to text you and say that speaks volumes, and this could be day she's ready to work things out.

is anyone even paying attention anymore?

Sign In

Have I got anything to lose by asking her what her intentions are? (with her contact)

Recommended Posts

MIK1000

MIK1000

dsw31

wilsonx

dsw31

MIK1000

MIK1000

wilsonx

dsw31

Melbufama

MIK1000

wilsonx

MIK1000

flitzanu

MIK1000

TakeMeasIam

flitzanu

Roro.x

MIK1000

MIK1000

Chi townD

DisGai

MIK1000

MIK1000

flitzanu

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...