The division of friends after a break up?

[wheeler]

Hiya again everyone,

 

just a quick one really - broke up with my fiance last week after having had enough of the relationship, we're still on good terms and we're still living together for another month or so while she gets sorted out.

 

I only really have 2 good friends who live nearby, and she's now putting in quite a lot of effort publicly arranging to have dinner with one of them over facebook (just as friends, he's in a relationship and we've always all been good friends together in the past).

 

Except there was a time when she wanted to knock him down a peg or two, he had a failed relationship of his own and went through a patch of messing around with drugs every now and again. She said she didn't want him near the house which I said "ok that's fine I understand". He's now back on the straight and narrow in a new relationship and is a very sensitive funny caring friend. Like I say it's on facebook now "oooh what night are we having dinner then ****? Steak night yay" etc.

 

Is she doing this to spite me? She has her own group of friends but I feel as though this is the start of a calculated game to maybe get back at me?

 

Or am I just being paranoid. I'm counting down the days til I get my motorbike back since that's how I made so many friends & saw so many great places before I met her. Until then I'm stranded and really starting to realise I shouldn't have pushed my friends out for her.

 

Thanks again, Wheeler

 

p.s. probably worth saying all 3 of us were in the room together last week when I said to both of them "none of us have fallen out, no one has done anything wrong, so I don't want it to become awkward between any of us taking sides or whatnot" so I've put that out there. I just wonder how she'd react if I asked her friends if any of them wanted to go camping or to meet up for a drink?

Edited April 30, 2012 by wheeler

[Philosoraptor]

Is she trying to take a stab at you? Maybe. Remove her ability to take such stabs by just deleting facebook. It will make this transition much easier if you do not know what she is doing. But don't be surprised if she started to either brag or speak loudly on the phone in order to get a rise out of you. People do this to "win" the breakup so they can convince themselves and others that they are better off without you.

 

No need to play the same games as they only lead to more questions. Take the easiest path which is just worrying about yourself.

[wheeler]

Is she trying to take a stab at you? Maybe. Remove her ability to take such stabs by just deleting facebook. It will make this transition much easier if you do not know what she is doing. But don't be surprised if she started to either brag or speak loudly on the phone in order to get a rise out of you. People do this to "win" the breakup so they can convince themselves and others that they are better off without you.

 

No need to play the same games as they only lead to more questions. Take the easiest path which is just worrying about yourself.

 

 

Thanks for the quick reply - well I've already decided I'm not going to mention it, question it, acknowledge it etc. because by doing that I'm not playing the silly games. I've only just got facebook back because she never liked that fact that she couldn't control my communication with people, which in turn led to arguments, so I deleted it. Now I've got it back she's already mentioned certain pictures (of mountain biking) before and after the break up.

 

She also made a point of saying how great a weekend she's had, and txting with her phone on full bleep volume/laughing loudly at txt messages in front of me last night. I'm not playing the game unfortunately so while it may be bothering me inside I'm not going to let it show. She'll give up eventually I guess.

[Philosoraptor]

Sounds like quite a mature one you have there. I had one too and she eventually gave up as well. But man did she make a fool of herself before she gave up.