Most painful relationship ever!

[VioletFemme]

I've been reading here a while, but never posted. I actually came looking for this place when I suspected my man at the time of cheating on me. We spilt up, I read here off and on, then found myself in a situation where I needed some advice. Any advice. I'm not certain the advice here is going to do me any good but here goes.

 

What is this "affair fog" which everyone refers to? References to euphoria and denial and rose colored glasses. Really? I've seen this thing just about as clearly as a person can, right from the start.

 

Met a man, my neighbor. He moved out of his house and in next door to me. We started talking causally in passing--in the halls, outside, etc. Then one day he stopped to drop off something he had cooked. We had chit chatted about it one day outside. He dropped some off for me to try. I invited him in. He came in, we chatted, nothing happened. Then he began to drop by rather regularly. We'd talk and laugh and play cards or watch stupid reality TV shows together. All this time, yes, he's married, but obviously not living with his family.

 

They come by to visit him occasionally--beautiful wife, cute kids. I am seeing him work through all this separation stuff and he's not having an easy time of it. We talk of that only occasionally. He says with me he can relax and just have fun and it feels good. I never wanted things to get complicated, but they did. I was attracted to him but kept telling myself it was a bad, bad, bad idea.

 

Months go by with us just hanging out, being friends. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one feeling any attraction, and I never confess. One night, he confesses his attraction for ME. We have a very serious calm talk that it's not a good idea, we need to just be friends, and so on. Several nights later, I guess neither of us was remembering that conversation. In spite of it being a bad, bad idea, it got physical.

 

It's been that way for several months now. We hang out and be friends a lot, and have sex every once in a while. He's still not divorced or divorcing. And I'm in big trouble with my emotions. I'm pretty much in love with this man, have told him this. He says he is too, but then talks of how complicated it is and how he can't do anything about it. (I know, I know, I've read that before, here, lots of times. It’s a lot of crap, I know!) In spite of knowing, I'm still sort of hoping he gets his life together, makes a decision (one way or the other. make a break of his marriage and make a go with me, or stop seeing me.) I've asked him if he wants to stop. I don't believe he feels good about where we are. What we are doing. I KNOW I don't feel good about it. I'm lonely half the time; I'm sad the other half. I feel guilty and I daily wish, wish wish things were different.

 

So where’s all this euphoria and fog and denial? I never went through those things. I feel love and pain and guilt and pain and a tiny sad little bit of hope. Advice welcomed; try to be gentle as this sucks so bad and I'm already hurting.

[skywriter]

VioletFemme,

 

I can't say that I've experienced alot of the affair fog.

 

I'm a very realistic person, however, I am an exOW. My experience of being involved with a MM, is, it was the worst experience of my life!

 

My heart goes out to you Violet. This situation will drain your soul. If you truly believe your in love with him, as you've told him, let him go until he makes a decision to end his marriage.

[PeineDeCoeur]

Hi VF;

 

I have experienced the affair fog, and I think, in my case, it happened because we couldn't see each other that often, and we spent a lot of time planning and anticipating seeing each other. Because he's your neighbor, you see him a lot...

 

I'm sorry for your pain. It sounds like they are separated but doesn't sound like he's dedicated to the separation and eventual divorce. Do you know if she kicked him out or he left of his own accord? From your email, he sounds confused and that he might go back if given a chance. It definetly would be best to back off and let him sort through, and grieve his marriage before you get involved with him any further. He's clearly lonely, but you don't want to become his "transitional" or rebound woman either.

[whichwayisup]

You realize that you are not going to 'change' his mind about divorcing. One mistake you may make is thinking that you're higher on his list of priorities.

 

Feelings are they, both sides but he's TOLD you it isn't going to go anywhere because he isn't divorced.

 

Let me ask, does his wife know you two are 'dating' and seeing eachother?

 

What is the point of separation? Meaning a break or intention to divorce? is this space and then they will try again and fix the marriage?

 

He is in no position to 'give all' to you. Forget the fog, you're focussing on the wrong thing completely. BE GLAD you dont' have your head in the clouds and allowing your heart and body parts make decisions.

 

I've asked him if he wants to stop. I don't believe he feels good about where we are. What we are doing. I KNOW I don't feel good about it. I'm lonely half the time; I'm sad the other half. I feel guilty and I daily wish, wish wish things were different.

 

Why are you 'asking' him if he wants to stop? See this is it, YOU are settling for less. HE IS available for fun and good times (like an affair) but he IS NOT available for anything more than that. He isn't committed to you - As much as you 'wish' him to be, he isn't. IF you are so unhappy, end it. You don't need his permission to end this. It eventually will get to you and your heart will hurt more and more.

 

SO what does he says when you've asked him if he wants to end it? Why not tell him, 'I can't handle this anymore, and I dont want to be the OW'. If he truly respects you, he'll do what is right not only for you, but for his wife and child. You don't want to BE the reason why they don't get back together again. If there reason for separation is a break with intention of getting back together, YOU need to think long and hard if you want to intefer in that family unit. You are thinking in the "now", he is thinking long term as he has a kid think about and a life with someone else..

[jwi71]

I've been reading here a while, but never posted. I actually came looking for this place when I suspected my man at the time of cheating on me. We spilt up, I read here off and on, then found myself in a situation where I needed some advice. Any advice. I'm not certain the advice here is going to do me any good but here goes.

 

What is this "affair fog" which everyone refers to? References to euphoria and denial and rose colored glasses. Really? I've seen this thing just about as clearly as a person can, right from the start.

 

Met a man, my neighbor. He moved out of his house and in next door to me. We started talking causally in passing--in the halls, outside, etc. Then one day he stopped to drop off something he had cooked. We had chit chatted about it one day outside. He dropped some off for me to try. I invited him in. He came in, we chatted, nothing happened. Then he began to drop by rather regularly. We'd talk and laugh and play cards or watch stupid reality TV shows together. All this time, yes, he's married, but obviously not living with his family.

 

They come by to visit him occasionally--beautiful wife, cute kids. I am seeing him work through all this separation stuff and he's not having an easy time of it. We talk of that only occasionally. He says with me he can relax and just have fun and it feels good. I never wanted things to get complicated, but they did. I was attracted to him but kept telling myself it was a bad, bad, bad idea.

 

Months go by with us just hanging out, being friends. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one feeling any attraction, and I never confess. One night, he confesses his attraction for ME. We have a very serious calm talk that it's not a good idea, we need to just be friends, and so on. Several nights later, I guess neither of us was remembering that conversation. In spite of it being a bad, bad idea, it got physical.

 

It's been that way for several months now. We hang out and be friends a lot, and have sex every once in a while. He's still not divorced or divorcing. And I'm in big trouble with my emotions. I'm pretty much in love with this man, have told him this. He says he is too, but then talks of how complicated it is and how he can't do anything about it. (I know, I know, I've read that before, here, lots of times. It’s a lot of crap, I know!) In spite of knowing, I'm still sort of hoping he gets his life together, makes a decision (one way or the other. make a break of his marriage and make a go with me, or stop seeing me.) I've asked him if he wants to stop. I don't believe he feels good about where we are. What we are doing. I KNOW I don't feel good about it. I'm lonely half the time; I'm sad the other half. I feel guilty and I daily wish, wish wish things were different.

 

So where’s all this euphoria and fog and denial? I never went through those things. I feel love and pain and guilt and pain and a tiny sad little bit of hope. Advice welcomed; try to be gentle as this sucks so bad and I'm already hurting.

 

The fog, as presented in your situation, is most evident in your knowing "it's not good" and still continuing. If, as you say, you see this "clearly" then why did you enter into and now persist in this A?

 

For me, the answer is you only thought you knew (fog) what you were getting into. The alternative to that is you can't handle the A like you thought you would/could (which is again fog).

 

In sum, the fog is the emotional variable you thought you could control and cannot. (If you could, you wouldn't be needing LS or your post above. )

 

My .02

[UpwardForward]

Falling in love is supposed to be a happy time.

 

Any relationship where the Two aren't of the same accord - can feel bleak, hurtful, desolate.

 

In my opinion, these relationships (outside of M) aren't meant to be.

[jphcbpa]

the fog is giving yourself on all levels to someone who is not available...that is insanity. while in the fog, you are too emotional to decipher the true from the false.

[alexandria35]

Hello Violet

 

I can't really speak to the affair fog, I believe it does exist though. I think to a certain extent I think we all get a little bit foggy when we are falling in love but it may be moreso in an affair because of the secrecy, guilt and confusion.

 

Newly seperated men usually are not good candidates for serious relationships period. I recently mentioned a seperated guy I had been good friends with years ago. Four years after I met him he went back to his wife and kids. Now we weren't romantically involved in any way and I truly never saw him as anything other than a friend, but still you could have knocked me over with a feather when he called me out of the blue one day and told me he had moved back home. He never talked much about his wife or his marriage and I had no idea that the possibility even existed. I was very happy for him but also very surprised.

 

Even if this guy doesn't go back home, even if he divorces, he still might not be the best person to hang your future on. He might want to enjoy his single life for a few years. Right now he is in an emotional situation and he is looking for comfort and a soft landing. I'm sure you relieve some of the pain he is experiencing, but don't you want to be more than a pain reliever? You titled this thread "the most painful relationship ever". That says a lot, right there. If this is the most painful relationship ever, then why bother being in it?

[findingnemo]

I've been reading here a while, but never posted. I actually came looking for this place when I suspected my man at the time of cheating on me. We spilt up, I read here off and on, then found myself in a situation where I needed some advice. Any advice. I'm not certain the advice here is going to do me any good but here goes.

 

What is this "affair fog" which everyone refers to? References to euphoria and denial and rose colored glasses. Really? I've seen this thing just about as clearly as a person can, right from the start.

 

Met a man, my neighbor. He moved out of his house and in next door to me. We started talking causally in passing--in the halls, outside, etc. Then one day he stopped to drop off something he had cooked. We had chit chatted about it one day outside. He dropped some off for me to try. I invited him in. He came in, we chatted, nothing happened. Then he began to drop by rather regularly. We'd talk and laugh and play cards or watch stupid reality TV shows together. All this time, yes, he's married, but obviously not living with his family.

 

They come by to visit him occasionally--beautiful wife, cute kids. I am seeing him work through all this separation stuff and he's not having an easy time of it. We talk of that only occasionally. He says with me he can relax and just have fun and it feels good. I never wanted things to get complicated, but they did. I was attracted to him but kept telling myself it was a bad, bad, bad idea.

 

Months go by with us just hanging out, being friends. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one feeling any attraction, and I never confess. One night, he confesses his attraction for ME. We have a very serious calm talk that it's not a good idea, we need to just be friends, and so on. Several nights later, I guess neither of us was remembering that conversation. In spite of it being a bad, bad idea, it got physical.

 

It's been that way for several months now. We hang out and be friends a lot, and have sex every once in a while. He's still not divorced or divorcing. And I'm in big trouble with my emotions. I'm pretty much in love with this man, have told him this. He says he is too, but then talks of how complicated it is and how he can't do anything about it. (I know, I know, I've read that before, here, lots of times. It’s a lot of crap, I know!) In spite of knowing, I'm still sort of hoping he gets his life together, makes a decision (one way or the other. make a break of his marriage and make a go with me, or stop seeing me.) I've asked him if he wants to stop. I don't believe he feels good about where we are. What we are doing. I KNOW I don't feel good about it. I'm lonely half the time; I'm sad the other half. I feel guilty and I daily wish, wish wish things were different.

 

So where’s all this euphoria and fog and denial? I never went through those things. I feel love and pain and guilt and pain and a tiny sad little bit of hope. Advice welcomed; try to be gentle as this sucks so bad and I'm already hurting.

 

I know what you mean when you wonder where the so called euphoria is. I never experienced it except when xMM and I were together which was on rare occasions. I was a temporary OW in that I wanted him to leave his W and be with me and operated under that assumption. So most of the time I was in pain, feeling guilty, feeling ashamed or just mad at him or at myself.

 

I think for me the fog was in thinking he would consider leaving his family. I was being delusional. The qualities I liked in him wouldn't allow him to go so far as to abandon his family (please note that they allowed him to have an A:confused:). I was in a total fog for years on just that one point. That all of it was happening because he loved me more than anything else in the world.

[VioletFemme]

VioletFemme,

 

I can't say that I've experienced alot of the affair fog.

 

I'm a very realistic person, however, I am an exOW. My experience of being involved with a MM, is, it was the worst experience of my life!

 

My heart goes out to you Violet. This situation will drain your soul. If you truly believe your in love with him, as you've told him, let him go until he makes a decision to end his marriage.

 

How? Every thread on here says no contact, no contact, no contact...but that sounds awful as well as impractical since we are neighbors. And it sounds awful, like I have to sacrifice the friendship part as well as the sexual part.

[whichwayisup]

How? Every thread on here says no contact, no contact, no contact...but that sounds awful as well as impractical since we are neighbors. And it sounds awful, like I have to sacrifice the friendship part as well as the sexual part.

 

Part of consquence of it happening, also even if he was single and available, getting involved with someone who lives on your street close by is risky.

 

Doesn't mean have you to IGNORE HIM like typical NC, but you can detach and not rely on him for anything, or hang out with him. You can say hello or goodbye. The friendship part will not work because everybody knows you can't be friends with someone you have feelings for, especially in an affair. You won't have a chance to work through the pain and loss of it ending if you see him daily and continue to hang out. It'll feed your feelings as well as just be an affair, just minus the sex. that's an emotional affair.

 

Just wondering but are you friends with other neighbours? Are they curious as to what is going on?

[VioletFemme]

Thank you for your kind words, PeineDeCoeur. To answer your question: he left her. He misses his kids and goes back to see them; he doesn't stay the night there. (Neighbors and all. I don't deliberately be nosy, but I go out on my porch to smoke and know when his car is there and when it isn't.) He says he and she fight almost every time he sees her. He says she asks him to come back, and he doesn't, and they fight. And yes, I know the common element is HE SAYS and I've never heard her side. No, I don't want to be a rebound or transitional woman; I want a real relationship.

 

whichwayisup--I asked him if he wanted to stop BECAUSE I don't want to be the rebound, the transitional person, the interference in his life, the complication. I know why he told me he left: the seperation is to work towards divorce. But it does seem as if his mind and heart are not fully made up. He physically lives apart, but is still involved and commited to his family, including his wife to some degree. I know he has to sort this out himself. The question I ask myself, and why I do not walk away myself is: Am I willing to wait it out? And how long?

 

jwi71, good point. There is a "fog" in the respect that I knew it was a bad idea and let myself proceed.

 

UpwardForward. I'm not sure I understand. You do know it's not ALL misery, right? It just has so many things that do cause pain and doubt. The friendship piece is great. When he comes over and we just hang out and talk and not get physical.

 

jphcbpa: not available fully NOW. But who knows what the future will bring, and this causes me great confusion. Walk away possibly forever, or stay? Walk away or stay? I'm so torn.

 

alexandria35: your point about newly seperated men not being the best realtionship material is exactly why I had reservations. The piece about his not being divorced is part of that, but even if it wasn't amarriage, just the end of a long term thing, I'd stil be cautious due to the rebound factor. Four years later somene went back? Jeez. Thats a scary thought for the stay / walk away debate raging in my mind and heart.

 

findingnemo: I don't necessrily believe he is fully ready to walk away from his mariage and family; I cannot believe that as we've talked too many times about how torn he is. I would love it if he were fully available and free, but I have no illusions in this respect. I'm holding on to a glimmer of a hope, that's all.

 

All in all, my stay / walk awy argument is becuase of the pain vs. pleasure theme. It's so lovely when we spend time together--friends, fun, companionship, conversation. It's so painful becuase this isn't mine fully, he is not mine fully, cannot be mine fully until he gets his stuff together.

 

Will he get it together is the question, and the answer is completely out of my hands.

 

At some point, will the pain outweigh the pleaseure completely?

[whichwayisup]

whichwayisup--I asked him if he wanted to stop BECAUSE I don't want to be the rebound, the transitional person, the interference in his life, the complication. I know why he told me he left: the seperation is to work towards divorce. But it does seem as if his mind and heart are not fully made up. He physically lives apart, but is still involved and commited to his family, including his wife to some degree. I know he has to sort this out himself. The question I ask myself, and why I do not walk away myself is: Am I willing to wait it out? And how long?

 

He is in no position to be making any serious plans with you, and in all honesty, if there is a chance he and his wife can try again - Step away and allow them that. THEY are family and it's just wrong as the outsider to get in the way of that process. You don't want to the reason why he couldn't give his marriage a chance to work to keep his family together under one roof.

 

He is confused and not 100 percent sure if the marriage is over and his wife isn't either. They do get along and spend time together.

 

You back off and tell him that you can't continue to be in his life like this, that's unfair to you. Ask him to please respect your decision and not call to hang out with you or talk. Wave hello, but that's it. Keep your distance.

 

You go on with your life. This process of his is going to take a long time, atleast a year. do NOT put your life on hold for a year waiting for him. If he divorces and is ready to date, he can call you to see if you're available still. But you need to let go and step out of the picture.

[Fitz]

Some say "Love is blind." But another truth is that "Love is blinding." Which is essentially the same metaphor as "the fog." In other words, not being able to see what is sitting right in front of you. What these metaphors all boil down to is the denial of reality. Not accepting the truth.

Or in psychiatric terms, just plain denial. Because you'd rather pursue emotional and/or physical gratification.

 

Furthermore, if he is lying to his wife by concealing his sexual relationship with you, then you can be sure he is lying to you. If you tell one lie, you usually end up having to tell multiple lies. Especially when extra-marital sex is involved. Lies are like roaches this way.

 

So I'd say your trust in an obvious liar is your fog (denial).

 

Investing yourself in an unhealthy and likely doomed relationship is more fog (denial).

 

Thinking that everything will be hunky-dory if you can just avoid sex and then just simply fill out some "friend zone" applications (more fog and denial, smh...).

 

[You do realize that your so-called "friendship" has been a sexually motivated ruse, right? And all those friendly gestures he made at the start of your so-called "friendship" were motivated by a desire to drop panties, right? Trust me, you got much more "neighborly" attention than anyone else on the block with a penis. Mr. Wilson is still waiting on his care package...]

 

So, yes. You are very much caught up in the fog of denial.

[alexandria35]

Some say "Love is blind." But another truth is that "Love is blinding." Which is essentially the same metaphor as "the fog." In other words, not being able to see what is sitting right in front of you. What these metaphors all boil down to is the denial of reality. Not accepting the truth.

Or in psychiatric terms, just plain denial. Because you'd rather pursue emotional and/or physical gratification.

 

Furthermore, if he is lying to his wife by concealing his sexual relationship with you, then you can be sure he is lying to you. If you tell one lie, you usually end up having to tell multiple lies. Especially when extra-marital sex is involved. Lies are like roaches this way.

 

So I'd say your trust in an obvious liar is your fog (denial).

 

Investing yourself in an unhealthy and likely doomed relationship is more fog (denial).

 

Thinking that everything will be hunky-dory if you can just avoid sex and then just simply fill out some "friend zone" applications (more fog and denial, smh...).

 

[You do realize that your so-called "friendship" has been a sexually motivated ruse, right? And all those friendly gestures he made at the start of your so-called "friendship" were motivated by a desire to drop panties, right? Trust me, you got much more "neighborly" attention than anyone else on the block with a penis. Mr. Wilson is still waiting on his care package...]

 

So, yes. You are very much caught up in the fog of denial.

 

I don't believe for a moment that the only reason this guy became friends with the OP was to get her into the sack. As if guys aren't capable of feeling or needing anything other than sex. I do agree that he is using her in a sense, because he takes all that she has to offer, friendship, companionship, sex, but he doesn't really have much to offer himself.

 

The OP is helping him through a rough time but his head and heart are not fully with her and may never be. If she questions him he may tell her there is a possibility of he and she having a future together or he may reassure her that he doesn't want to go back but that might only be because he doesn't want to let go of his life raft, the OP. And even if he never goes back it's still risky because as he feels better and stronger as a single person he may feel that he's not ready to be tied to another serious relationship. Some newly divorced/seperated will immediately latch onto another seriously involved relationship, but most do not. And the ones who do, usually wish at some point that they hadn't and they realize that they only did that to avoid being alone.

[Fitz]

I don't believe for a moment that the only reason this guy became friends with the OP was to get her into the sack. As if guys aren't capable of feeling or needing anything other than sex. I do agree that he is using her in a sense...

 

Sure, fine. Sex may not be the ONLY reason. I agree with you. But you'd be naive to think that the pursuit of sexual attraction did not play a large part here. So why make excuses to suggest otherwise?

 

And BTW Mr. Wilson (the neighbor with a penis) is also still waiting on his care package from MM... When will the MM constantly knock on Mr. Wilson's door bearing gifts? Does Mr. Wilson hold no value as a person? As a friend? Oh, Poor vagina-less Mr. Wilson...

Edited May 1, 2012 by Fitz

[jwi71]

VF,

 

You are dating a separated man. There is nothing wrong with that in the legal or moral sense. It's 100% ok to do so - however ill advised and perilous.

 

So.....

 

Why are you asking about the A fog?

Why do you at least identify with being the OW?

[Owl]

So where’s all this euphoria and fog and denial? I never went through those things. I feel love and pain and guilt and pain and a tiny sad little bit of hope. Advice welcomed; try to be gentle as this sucks so bad and I'm already hurting.

 

You answered your own question.

 

And I'm in big trouble with my emotions. I'm pretty much in love with this man, have told him this. He says he is too, but then talks of how complicated it is and how he can't do anything about it. (I know, I know, I've read that before, here, lots of times. It’s a lot of crap, I know!) In spite of knowing, I'm still sort of hoping he gets his life together, makes a decision (one way or the other. make a break of his marriage and make a go with me, or stop seeing me.) I've asked him if he wants to stop. I don't believe he feels good about where we are. What we are doing. I KNOW I don't feel good about it. I'm lonely half the time; I'm sad the other half. I feel guilty and I daily wish, wish wish things were different.

 

Q.E.D.

[Emme]

You have no knowledge of what the facts are and maybe that's why you're concerned. You should be because you don't know if/when the divorce will be finalized. What you want to do is protect your emotions to ensure that there are no potholes in the road ahead. To do that, halt the relationship, just do it. A request is something he should understand. If he's serious about this relationship he'll understand and he'll wait. Then when the divorce is final have yourself a blue party. Are you able to step away from the relationship is the question. You seem afraid of getting hurt by him (the unknown)... Not afraid of getting hurt in a normal relationship which is a part of life. So something is missing for me.

[sad puppy]

You are hoping to be one of the tiny percents that 'work' at the end of it all. You are hoping he wakes up one day, decides he is done with his marriage, rushes off to the courthouse, gets divorced and then shows up on your doorstep with flowers and a ring and off you two go into happy marriage.

 

Not going to happen.

 

He is still emotionally married. He is wanting attention - and you are giving it to him. You are his rebound sex. You are his transition person. You are his support, helping him through all this. If he finally divorces, you will not be the one he stays with - he will seek someone else out who isn't aware of all he has gone through. He knows how you are; he knows about sex with you. You won't be the new, refreshing woman he wants in his life. You will be the reminder of what he has gone through.

 

You know you need to walk away, but you don't want to. How will you feel this summer, when he is off on vacation with his wife and kids, trying to see if the marriage can be salvaged? Thinking of him romancing his wife, kissing her, sleeping with her. He of course won't tell you of that; but you will always wonder, because you know he can lie because I am sure his wife has no knowledge of you and him.

 

Then what? You have now waited 1-2 years and you got nothing. Nothing but a broken heart and memories of him. You will wonder why you you didn't leave when you knew you should have. But you kept thinking "maybe...maybe if I just wait another month??"

 

When is the pain and loneliness enough? When will you decide I deserve better?

 

Wow that all sounds pretty passive aggressive under the guise of being helpful. Just curious hockey fan, for two years you almost exclusively post in the OW/OM forum, so what's your story?

[bentnotbroken]

Wow that all sounds pretty passive aggressive under the guise of being helpful. Just curious hockey fan, for two years you almost exclusively post in the OW/OM forum, so what's your story?

 

 

Passive aggressive huh?Hmmm.

[wellwhynot]

You didn't experience a fog because there is no such thing. It's a phrase that gets propagandized and used as both a bandaid (for those cheated on) and a cloak (for those doing the cheating). Rational people know it's just crap.

Of coure people get wrapped up in new relationships or someone that they really care about, it's called love & life. It's why when a person gets divorced everyone talks about how they go a little crazy or young adults "sow their wild oats" because the person is thinking about themselves again and what is important to them.

That's why.

I empathize with your pain and this may not be a relationship for you, but that's something you will figure out.

[donnamaybe]

Yes, there is such a thing as A fog. Some cannot recognize it or refuse to acknowledge it, but it exists. It is that heady feeling that causes one to forget about the potential consequences of engaging in an A.

[BigLiam]

Sorry if I missed it, but why is he not divorcing?

 

Probably not a good idea to have sex with a married guy(profound, eh?).

[BigLiam]

Wow that all sounds pretty passive aggressive under the guise of being helpful. Just curious hockey fan, for two years you almost exclusively post in the OW/OM forum, so what's your story?

I saw no P/A in that post. It was right on and respectful.