Binky62 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) Hi, I'm going to try and keep this as short as possible. About a year and a half ago me and my ex broke up. We had been together for about a year. We broke up in a bad situation. He hated his job, was miserable and there had always been an issue with the age gap (only 6 years). I found out he had got drunk and kissed a girl he had gone to uni with and had found out that he felt it wasn't going to work between us. We had both done things wrong in our relationship to a certain extent. He went and travelled around the other side of the world and we never talked to one another again. However about a month ago I got an email from him asking how I was. I ignored it as i couldn't see what was the point if talking to each other again. But then I got another email through Facebook and he added me as a friend. I didn't accept, but replied to his email only once. Then last week I walked into a bar and he was there. He came over and talked to me, and asked for my phone number. I was surprised how easy it was to talk to one another. Since then he has been texting me. We have also met up 3 times so far. He said he deleted my phone number because he knew he would of texted me and he couldn't get in contact (I orginally blocked him on Facebook to stop me from looking at what he was up to). He said he has missed me and only wants me. And says things like this: I totally understand your caution, I swear on my life that I will never hurt you again. Even so I'm happy to take it at your pace. I will make you trust me again i promise. I won't change my mind, I've never been more sure about anything In my life. I want you. No one else. I still gave feelings for him. But am uneasy in knowing if he is telling the truth. He has a tendacy to change his mind. And after all he has spent a lot of time with out me and met/kissed girls abroad. Anyone been in this situation before? Or any advice. Thanks! Edited April 30, 2012 by Binky62
Tiera D Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 U need to slow down,actually u could use what he said about what he promised about letting u trust him..i would suggest u give him loads of test before u even consider taking him back TD
Author Binky62 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Your right but how would I even text something like that.....I guess only time would tell.
Philosoraptor Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 He's already broken your trust and though you only heard about a kiss, might have cheated on you. Words and actions are two different things, and you've seen the actions.
Tiera D Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 u dont have to text him,two things u need to do..observe and make notes with a time limit..personally based on what u said and the time frame,i do not trust him. TD
travelbug Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 1.5 years is quite a while ago. I'm presuming you've had plenty of time to decide if he's really the one for you. Have you been hoping for a reconciliation all this time, or been trying to put it behind you? I think if you really love this guy, it's worth testing the waters out. But I would be very cautious and take it slowly. Very slowly. I agree with Philosoraptor, that actions are everything. Listen to what he's saying, but look for proof of those things in his actions. I can't stress that enough. 2
foolishlover Posted May 7, 2012 Posted May 7, 2012 Very similar to my situation when my ex came back to me saying all he wants is me, doesnt want anyone else, sees why i dont trust him anymore and will do anything to earn my trust again. He said he will never do anything that upsets me. I was in the clear. The NC helped me move on and I had found a new normal. I loved him and i couldnt cut him out of my life so i said look...i dont know where im at, but if you can win my trust and affection back, then thats good work and Im happy to give it another try. I told myself i would be cautious, but my heart got the better of me and i fell back for him after a fortnight or so. Another month later...he was back to the same old self. I found out he lied about what happened in the break. He said he hadnt been with anyone, but a mutual friend knows someone he flirted and hooked up with. When i found out he yelled at me for 'snooping.' Another time, he was being a complete ass and i said its making me really upset and you said you wouldnt do that. He then replies with "people say things. If i had to adjust and make sure you were happy with everything i did, then id have no life. You cant control me." Basically when he won me back, he turned back into everything that i hated. The get-together lasted two months and he broke my heart once again.
Author Binky62 Posted May 7, 2012 Author Posted May 7, 2012 I put our relationship behind me because in all seriousness I thought I would never talk to him and see him again. So it's been quite strange Im sorry to hear that!! That must of been awful!! Thats what I am worried about. My ex-has told me he has dated people since we have split......but said they didn't compare to me. Which again makes me worry.
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