Mme. Chaucer Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 So, what happens if you put your head on a friend's shoulder if you're looking for solace? Should this auto-convert into desire or sex? Oh, come on, now. Obviously the "looking for solace" angle is just a red herring. What she's really looking for, probably, is a free meal at Applebee's or the Red Lobster, and an "emotional tampon" experience. If she touches her hair while her head is on said shoulder (other than her own pair), however, now that would be a strong indicator that she is DTF and the owner of the shoulder can expect banging in the near future.
joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 But it's all "innocent flirting" isn't it? Sounds like different people have different boundaries and tolerance levels, instead of any universal belief, like or dislike. So, what happens if you put your head on a friend's shoulder if you're looking for solace? Should this auto-convert into desire or sex? I say the above based on MC's reference to the ghastly assumptions of interest using body language read in PUA terms. The term innocent flirting is an excuse to do certain things and when a man responds a certain way the woman can say "Oh! I don't want you that way.". Innocent flirting, friendzone, and women being passive about certain things is why the PUA business thrives. Men with no experience are frustrated because they are confused by the actions of some women. They just want to understand why. If women flirted with men they were interested in and were not afraid to say hey I'm not into you and all the games and BS there would be no need for PUA. 3
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Oh, come on, now. Obviously the "looking for solace" angle is just a red herring. What she's really looking for, probably, is a free meal at Applebee's or the Red Lobster, and an "emotional tampon" experience. If she touches her hair while her head is on said shoulder (other than her own pair), however, now that would be a strong indicator that she is DTF and the owner of the shoulder can expect banging in the near future.Are we certain she's not doing a kino escalation by touching him?
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 The term innocent flirting is an excuse to do certain things and when a man responds a certain way the woman can say "Oh! I don't want you that way.". Innocent flirting, friendzone, and women being passive about certain things is why the PUA business thrives. Men with no experience are frustrated because they are confused by the actions of some women. They just want to understand why. If women flirted with men they were interested in and were not afraid to say hey I'm not into you and all the games and BS there would be no need for PUA. This is it essentially. It's like saying "all green lights mean go, but sometimes a green light means don't go, or slow down". If I get to an intersection and see a green light what am I supposed to do? Make a guess? 1
joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Are we certain she's not doing a kino escalation by touching him? Come on now! You know if someone takes it to the level she described if she is not DTF she is being manipulative and wanting to break a trick
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I'm challenging our sterile attitudes of western nations where touch between people is so frowned upon. In other cultures, it's cool for friends to hold hands or put their arms around each other. In our culture, oh so taboo.
joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I'm challenging our sterile attitudes of western nations where touch between people is so frowned upon. In other cultures, it's cool for friends to hold hands or put their arms around each other. In our culture, oh so taboo. There is a difference between friendly touching and you touching to be sexual. That is a very big difference. Even other cultures where its cool to touch know that. Its being an attention whore for a woman to do that.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 If a girl sits on your face, though, I would probably never deem that to be "innocent flirting." Even if she is still wearing her underpants.
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 There is a difference between friendly touching and you touching to be sexual. That is a very big difference. Even other cultures where its cool to touch know that. Its being an attention whore for a woman to do that.Considering how many men on LS have no clue about social cues, how do you propose they'd be able to tell the difference? Notice there's no reference to sexual touching in the opening post? ES was talking about head on shoulder and hugs. She wasn't talking about groping.
FitChick Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I'm challenging our sterile attitudes of western nations where touch between people is so frowned upon. In other cultures, it's cool for friends to hold hands or put their arms around each other. In our culture, oh so taboo. Asian culture is even less touchy feely than we are. I agree with Donald Trump when he says he wishes we'd bow like the Japanese instead of shaking hands. Especially during flu season.
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Asian culture is even less touchy feely than we are. I agree with Donald Trump when he says he wishes we'd bow like the Japanese instead of shaking hands. Especially during flu season.So Japan IS Asia? I don't think so. Japan is an Asiatic country but it's far from being the sole country or culture within Asia. MANY Asian nations consider it acceptable for friends to hold hands or put their arms around each other...gasp...even put their heads on each other's shoulders! Even in North America, it's acceptable to hug friends.
joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 So Japan IS Asia? I don't think so. Japan is an Asiatic country but it's far from being the sole country or culture within Asia. MANY Asian nations consider it acceptable for friends to hold hands or put their arms around each other...gasp...even put their heads on each other's shoulders! Even in North America, it's acceptable to hug friends. Oh my! Next thing you will be grabbing crotches then say "Oh I was being friendly not sexual". There is a limit on hugging friends
dasein Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Upon reflection, there's only one aspect of this kind of behavior that is very annoying to me, and that's when a female friend c-blocks with flirtation if she thinks you are in the process of picking up some other woman. We are just friends, have always been, no sparks either way, then I start hitting on a woman in a bar, and my good pal is hopping in my lap all of a sudden? LOL. Happens more than it should, not that big a deal, looking back it was best not to hook up with the other women in question anyway.
jobaba Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 There are three types of guys who don't get lighthearted flirting. Guys who don't get flirted with much, guys that want more from you and guys with ginormous egos who believe every woman wants them! And there's two types of women... One who will flirt with men who she has no interest in because she 'wants to' and because it is 'fun' And the other that respects that she may be leading the guy up a huge emotional hill to a huge crash, so she won't do it.
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Oh my! Next thing you will be grabbing crotches then say "Oh I was being friendly not sexual". There is a limit on hugging friendsWhy keep introducing the sexual element to it when there wasn't a sexual element referenced whether in the opening post or by myself? Sterile culture is sterile.
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 And there's two types of women... One who will flirt with men who she has no interest in because she 'wants to' and because it is 'fun' And the other that respects that she may be leading the guy up a huge emotional hill to a huge crash, so she won't do it.Okay, so bantering is out of the question since the guy's so emotionally sensitive, that if she doesn't want to do him then he's going to fall down a deep, dark hole of despair. Got it!
FitChick Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 So, what happens if you put your head on a friend's shoulder if you're looking for solace? I was quickly skimming this thread and thought you said looking for lice. Yes, it's acceptable to ask your friend to search your head for lice. 1
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I was quickly skimming this thread and thought you said looking for lice. Yes, it's acceptable to ask your friend to search your head for lice.Since human kind are a form of ape, lice seeking and grooming are elements of good social behaviour. It also adds protein to the diet.
joystickd Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Upon reflection, there's only one aspect of this kind of behavior that is very annoying to me, and that's when a female friend c-blocks with flirtation if she thinks you are in the process of picking up some other woman. We are just friends, have always been, no sparks either way, then I start hitting on a woman in a bar, and my good pal is hopping in my lap all of a sudden? LOL. Happens more than it should, not that big a deal, looking back it was best not to hook up with the other women in question anyway. That is where you have to say if you don't want me then let me find someone that will and establish a boundary.
jobaba Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Here is a situation: If a girl that you have known for years randomly gives you hugs and puts her head on your shoulder and similar, would you think she is interested beyond being friends? Even if you observe that she does it with others too? I just feel like guys don't get that flirting is mostly meaningless... The head on the shoulder thing is fine, although very juvenile (or at least 20s) to me. My sister does that with me, so that's fine. I hug all my female friends, so that's fine. Shoving your tits in his face, sticking your pinky finger in the corner of your mouth while smiling, and caressing a guys thigh or hair is a little less OK. You've seen how poor young dudes who randomly post get so obsessed with women they think are into them because of 'signs' like this, but women would still do it? Rotten. Personally, doesn't matter to me. I'm as jaded and weathered as the Grand Canyon, so I won't take any sign as a woman's interest. But to do it to a young, impressionable or inexperienced guy, it's pretty messed up.
ThaWholigan Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Okay, so bantering is out of the question since the guy's so emotionally sensitive, that if she doesn't want to do him then he's going to fall down a deep, dark hole of despair. Got it! Not quite. But it will eventually become a problem for that guy if EVERY girl does this to him and yet he still doesn't get dates. That would be frustrating. As I am fortunate enough to not care half the time, I am somewhat immune to the despair associated
jobaba Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Okay, so bantering is out of the question since the guy's so emotionally sensitive, that if she doesn't want to do him then he's going to fall down a deep, dark hole of despair. Got it! Bantering is not flirting. Read my above post. Women do it. Flirt with men to get things they want and just because they want to. Women intentionally lead guys on that they have no interest in for different reasons, but essentially for their own personal gain. That is not too kind IMO. But like I said I don't care. I'm one of those jaded guys you like. You could shove your tits in my face, run your fingers through my hair, talk about how you shave your privates thrice a week and how badly you want a BF and I still wouldn't think you were into me.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 sticking your pinky finger in the corner of your mouth while smiling,. So … this is wrong? Google Image Result for http://33millionpeople.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/dr-evil-for-asw-blog.jpg
threebyfate Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Not quite. But it will eventually become a problem for that guy if EVERY girl does this to him and yet he still doesn't get dates. That would be frustrating. As I am fortunate enough to not care half the time, I am somewhat immune to the despair associated The fortunate part is that not all women are the same, like not all men are the same so it's not as if people can't find partners with similar beliefs. As you can see, even in this thread, not all women agree with each other. Bantering is not flirting. Read my above post.But...but...plenty of your compatriots believe it is. I personally believe that bantering can easily be a component of flirting where flirting isn't the horrendous lead on that some believe. As long as you maintain consistent boundaries about how far to go, it can be a lot of fun for BOTH individuals. Women do it. Flirt with men to get things they want and just because they want to. Women intentionally lead guys on that they have no interest in for different reasons, but essentially for their own personal gain. That is not too kind IMO.So if a few women lead men on, we're all guilty of it? What's wrong with this assumption? But like I said I don't care. I'm one of those jaded guys you like. You could shove your tits in my face, run your fingers through my hair, talk about how you shave your privates thrice a week and how badly you want a BF and I still wouldn't think you were into me.And once again, we leap into the sexual where there's been no reference to sexuality by either the opening post or myself. Anyone can setup fictitious scenarios but are they true reflections of what's being stated?
angie2443 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Since human kind are a form of ape, lice seeking and grooming are elements of good social behaviour. It also adds protein to the diet. Actually, they are done by the subordinate members of the group or by females trying to get close to a mother's baby. They might add protein, although I wouldn't think it would be that much.
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