Lionblue92 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Two quick questions... First, my ex and I broke up 4 months ago. we have been "talking" (working on getting back together for about a month. And before that we were talking frequently in the last month before april, but never said we were officially talking. I have never gotten back with an ex boyfriend before but we were together for 7 months before we broke up. So once were official, when people ask how long we been together do we just add the next month that were dating? like, if were official today and someone asks a month from now do I just on that month and say 8 months? jjust curious.... also, my ex and I will be working together and living in the same area at an amusement park for 3 months, and we "think" we plan to see each other every day. And plan on sleeping in each others beds at night. Im wondering if anyone can give me any advice on how often I should hang out with him/sleep with him a week if I dont want him to get really comfortable. Like how much is too much and whats just right? (also, i think hes thinks hes the kind of guy that can be with his girl every day butt....he hasnt proved to be and i dont see it so this summer will tell, but i think hes the kind of dude that just needs to see his girl maybe 3 or four times out the week)
Author Lionblue92 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Would every day simply be too much?
veggirl Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Would every day simply be too much? Yes. Esp when you are just getting back together, and it sounds shaky at best. So you ARE bf/gf again now? When people ask, "we dated for 7 mos and were apart for 4. we've been back together X mos"
Author Lionblue92 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Yes. Esp when you are just getting back together, and it sounds shaky at best. So you ARE bf/gf again now? When people ask, "we dated for 7 mos and were apart for 4. we've been back together X mos" No we are not yet, I don't want us to be because were still at our separate colleges and states and I wont be home for a week, then a week after that we will be working/living in the same area. I wanted to wait to see how we are interacting during that time before we make a decision. I think he would be comfortable getting into a relationship once were back home period but he hasnt specified when he wants to, he just knows he wants to.
Author Lionblue92 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Yes. Esp when you are just getting back together, and it sounds shaky at best. So you ARE bf/gf again now? When people ask, "we dated for 7 mos and were apart for 4. we've been back together X mos" So about how many times a week would it be a good amount?
dasein Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 You shouldn't be sleeping with an ex at all during a reconciliation period IMO. Keep your head clear and free of oxytocin so that you can make rational decisions as to whether things have truly changed such that mistakes of the past won't be repeated. 1
Author Lionblue92 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 You shouldn't be sleeping with an ex at all during a reconciliation period IMO. Keep your head clear and free of oxytocin so that you can make rational decisions as to whether things have truly changed such that mistakes of the past won't be repeated. When i said sleeping i meant literally sleeping, not sex. did you mean sex? and when you say reconciliation did you mean i shouldn't sleep with him before were officially together or while were officially together?
Pierre Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 When i said sleeping i meant literally sleeping, not sex. did you mean sex? and when you say reconciliation did you mean i shouldn't sleep with him before were officially together or while were officially together? Sleeping together without having sex is possible, but rather difficult, however it can be done. I suggest you do not have sex yet. Why did you break up? Did you see anyone else in the break? Did he?
Author Lionblue92 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Sleeping together without having sex is possible, but rather difficult, however it can be done. I suggest you do not have sex yet. Why did you break up? Did you see anyone else in the break? Did he? I broke up with him because I wasn't a priority at the time anymore...he pretty much sold me out to spend NYE with his friends instead of with me after weeks of planning to spend it together. Plus we were long distance so it didn't make much sense. It came down to the fact that he started losing his feelings of love for me and that's why he did what he did. But I didnt find that out until recently. I knew I wasn't a priority at that point but i didn't know he lost feelings. So breaking up was the best thing to do at that point. Then sometime since then he started reaching out and he still had feelings and so did I so after talking about our issues and stuff we decided were going to work on it. And no, neither of us saw anyone else during the break up, he didn't because he didn't want to and was still hoping that we may get back together and I didn't because I wasn't ready to completely move on. Also, neither of us engaged in sex.'
Pierre Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I broke up with him because I wasn't a priority at the time anymore...he pretty much sold me out to spend NYE with his friends instead of with me after weeks of planning to spend it together. Plus we were long distance so it didn't make much sense. It came down to the fact that he started losing his feelings of love for me and that's why he did what he did. But I didnt find that out until recently. I knew I wasn't a priority at that point but i didn't know he lost feelings. So breaking up was the best thing to do at that point. Then sometime since then he started reaching out and he still had feelings and so did I so after talking about our issues and stuff we decided were going to work on it. And no, neither of us saw anyone else during the break up, he didn't because he didn't want to and was still hoping that we may get back together and I didn't because I wasn't ready to completely move on. Also, neither of us engaged in sex.' All relationships have ups and downs. Are you familiar with a sine wave? It is impossible to be high on the relationship 24/7. The important thing to remember is that there is no need to panic during a low. Just ride the low and a new high comes along. That is the secret of long lasting relationships-----knowing how to ride the lows until a new high. I suspect the two of you are quite young. Hol old are you? Are the tow of you virgins? Do not have sex until you have a solid relationship.
Author Lionblue92 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 That makes sense. I just don't know when the relationship will be solid. See, we will only be working there 3 months, then after we have to go home, then had back to our separate colleges which are hours apart. Back to long distance. And honestly, i would like to have sex while we are away in the summer, I just dont know when. So I am trying to time it right. We had sex when we were together, just not much of it being long distance. And we didnt start having it until 5 months in because thats when I felt ready. He's my second sex partner ever, since hes my second serious relationship, and I'm probably his 3rd of 4th sex partner...but his FIRST serious relationship.
Pierre Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 That makes sense. I just don't know when the relationship will be solid. See, we will only be working there 3 months, then after we have to go home, then had back to our separate colleges which are hours apart. Back to long distance. And honestly, i would like to have sex while we are away in the summer, I just dont know when. So I am trying to time it right. We had sex when we were together, just not much of it being long distance. And we didnt start having it until 5 months in because thats when I felt ready. He's my second sex partner ever, since hes my second serious relationship, and I'm probably his 3rd of 4th sex partner...but his FIRST serious relationship. I suggest you take it real slow since the two of you are going to be apart in three months. Also discuss the issue of peaks and valleys in a relationship. Folks that do not understand the lows end up breaking up quite a bit.
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