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How do you know if a guy means the compliments?


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Posted

I've been on some dates with different types of guys lately (white collar, blue collar, a range of ethnicities), and I notice that some of them are much more liberal with the compliments - these are also the more romantic, flirtatious guys, and the ones who, clearly, seem to like me more.

 

I want to enjoy it and trust them. But sometimes it feels like they're laying it on a bit thick. I seem to have a tendency to attract these adoring guys, or I somehow bring out that side in them. Guys often tell me they're normally not so sappy and expressive of their feelings, or they weren't like that in the past. I think that's great, but I just want to make sure it's genuine and not some kind of put on.

 

This guy I've dated a bit and have been talking to frequently told me the other night that he had this elaborate dream about me, in which essentially I was the damsel in distress and he was feeling the pull to be my hero. I guess I'm a little uneasy because I'm spotting a pattern.

 

Am I justified in being a bit skeptical? Or should I just relax and be more trusting?

Posted

You actually never really know early on, but when there are too many I would be worried as well as he sounds like he dishes them out a lot (to other women as well possibly).

Posted

What a man does is more important than what he says. I wouldn't place too much importance on it.

Posted

I use the, "is it true?" filter as well as the "how do I feel about the compliment?" filter. I use these for all compliments, regardless of whether or not they are from men or women.

 

In the first instance, I use the, "how do I feel about the compliment?" filter. If the answer is "good" then I smile and thank him/her.

 

If the answer is "unsure" or "bad" then I normally ask the person to clarify, e.g, "what makes you say that?" or I pass the compliment through the, "is it true?" filter. If it's not, then that might be a red flag that something's not quite right.

 

If you're a bit skeptical, then that would be potential red flag to me. I suspect that your intuition is telling you that something is not quite right.

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