Busterbrot Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I could use some advice. I’m taking some classes at the local university and I’ve come into contact with this girl who I was instantly attracted to. She’s beautiful, smart, classy…a really great gal…from what I can tell. Unfortunately, because of different schedules, I hardly run into her and I hardly get the chance to talk to her to get to know her. I always keep my eye out for her, in an attempt to be able to talk to her, but I’m almost never in the right place at the right time. Bad luck I suppose. I’ve talked with her a small number of times, usually group oriented, mainly about school oriented things, but not nearly enough to build a strong rapport with her. She recognizes me, knows my name, and a little about my schooling (and vice versa). That’s about it. I know friendship is the best way to start a good relationship, but I just haven’t had the chance to develop it with her. For example, I’m good friends with the girls that I have class with, and we joke and get along great. I just haven’t gotten that chance with this girl. I either don't see her or she is with other people when I do. It’s so infrequently that I see her that I feel as if I’ll come off as too aggressive with any interest I show towards her. For the most part, I have to go out of my way to see and talk to her, instead of being able to casually sit next to her in class and talk. Therefore, it can potentially make me seem awkward and overbearing, and the last thing I want is to be the creepy guy who she hardly knows that is asking her out. The main problem though, is that school ends in about a week, and I’m leaving for the summer for work (I don’t know her summer plans). I also don’t know my schooling plans for the future, but even if I did go back to school next year, who’s to say she’d still be there, or that I’d see her any more than I do now…or that she’d even be single? At least I have a little bit of an “in” right now, no matter how small. I don’t plan on wooing her in a week and then leaving, that’s foolish. Honestly, I’d be happy with simply getting her number so we could (her willing) talk/text over the summer and see how well we click mentally. Do I know we’ll click? No, I don’t, but I’d at least like to give us a chance to get to know each other. It could be the start to something great… who knows. I don’t know if “expressing feelings” to a girl I hardly know is the right way to go about this. Hell, I'm not even completely sure what I'm feeling...not to mention that girls don’t usually go for guys throwing themselves at them. All I know is I’d love to get a chance to be her friend and see if we both have the desire to get more out of it. But how do I get that across without being too overbearing? Is it possible? Do I find an excuse to ask for her number, and slowly build a relationship over the summer? Ask her friends what they think? Is it possible that anything I do at this point would be forceful and counterproductive? Any thoughts or similar situations?
CC12 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 What's wrong with just asking her out on a date? I don't think it's entirely necessary to be friends with someone first. And it's definitely not necessary to do any "expressing feelings" to a girl you hardly know. Just see if she wants to have lunch or coffee with you or something. Doesn't have to be a big deal. It would only be awkward or overbearing if you make it that way. Here's how that conversation might go: You: "Hey, Cindy, want to go grab some coffee later today?" Her: "Sorry, I can't. I have plans." You: "How about Friday? Do you have any plans then?" Her: "Friday sounds good." You: "Cool, how does 7 sound? I'll meet you at the coffee shop." Or-- You: "Hey, Cindy, want to go grab some coffee later today?" Her: "Sorry, I can't. I have plans." You: "How about Friday? Do you have any plans then?" Her: "Yeah, I'll be busy then, too." You: "Okay. Have a nice weekend. See you around." Smile and walk away. I don't think either of those scenarios are awkward or overbearing. I mean, yeah, getting rejected is a little awkward, but you'll live. Either way, you'll at least have given it a shot. Go for it.
Shaun-Dro Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 OP, who cares what this girl thinks of you? If you're interested, just go on after her and make a move. If she reciprocates, great; if not, **** her and move on.
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