Kay85 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Hello....so I have been with this guy for over 2 months now. Everything was going well. We spend a lot of time together, we are so into each other. When we dont see each other we are either texting or calling right throughout the day. He sometimes leave work for lunch just to come by my house to give me a quick hug and kiss. He listens to and caters to my needs. There isnt anything I ask for he cant give. My car broke down and he gave me his car to drive for one week. He is also a big spender he likes spending money on me with gifts and nice restaurants. We recently went out downtown one night and we passed this upscale tattoo shop and I jokingly say I wanted a tattoo with my name in Arabic (He speaks and write Arabic). He stopped and looked at me and said...lets go you are getting your tattoo, he knew the owner of the tattoo shop. I like that he is spontaneous. I have met most of his friend and even talked to his bestfriend (happens to be a girl)...she said she has not seen him so happy with a woman in a long time...all he talks about is you. He is almost a dream come true.....BUT Last Sunday he told me that his ex was flying in to see him...he said she had something important to tell him....She is pregnant.....I dont know how to feel about this because I know this is going to be a strange situation down the road. He has told me she is the jealous type and she still loves him. The big problem is this...She might have to stay with him because she has no support system but him....I am freaking out about this because my guts is telling me I might get hurt in the long run. He told me this will not change anything and I have a bigger place in his heart than his ex...His actions has not changed since the news and I feel he has become more tentative to me since he heard the news. I dont want to feel selfish but this baby and his ex will require more of his time involuntarily He is a good man but there are some things that concern me: He owns a small Jewelry store but he claims he has an online "business" that he does not want to tell me about. I find it strange that he knows so much people everywhere we go (mostly rich people) and he has only been in the states for 2yrs (he lived in France, Senegal, and Arabia) makes me wonder if this "business" is legit. He seems so suspicious like he is hiding a lot about his life sometimes his actions scares me, he seems so private about some things. He tells me about his life but a part of me feel that he is not telling me everything. His name is so strange and long, its hard for me to find more about him. He has joked around saying he can find out anything about me even get into my e-mails if he really wanted....I told him I dont find that funny....He told me is weakness is women but I have his heart and willing to change his ways for me(sounds kinda like bul****) I dont want to end something because I am thinking into this too much but I dont want to ignore the signs only to get hurt or get caught up with someone who may be dangerous or live a double life. I have been divorced for a year now...I am new to dating scene and im also in nursing school....I dont need anymore stress.....ADVICE PLEASE
RiverRunning Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Oh Good God, this is a bomb that's about to go off: Business that may not be legit. Pregnant ex. He's not monogamous (NEVER believe that you are the exception to the rule - believe me, you will be the rule. And you'll be cheated on). Semi-threat of digging into your personal life (E-mails? Let him know that could be a federal violation. Go about changing all of your passwords. Don't use any of his electronic devices.) You're only 3 months in and you've got four major red flags. One of these alone is enough to bail. So, I think that's precisely what you should do. None of this is going to get better - in fact, it stands to get much worse. Get out before this guy drags you down, especially if he has an illegal side business.
Author Kay85 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Thank you. I am leaning toward letting this guy go...there is too much red flags 1
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