Chrisal23 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I feel the need to contact my ex so bad! I don't know what to do. I know that if i don't contact her we will never be together. It sucks that I feel this way. Sometimes I feel like it was mostly my fault. I can't stand the feeling that shes hanging out with other boys and moving on, while I'm here thinking about her! She broke up with me because she hasn't gotten over our past breakup. Yet she has done mistakes and I forgave her because I love her and I wanted to make everything work out between us, but I guess that wasn't good enough.
Mr Scorpio Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 She broke up with me because she hasn't gotten over our past breakup. Can you elaborate on that? It doesn't make any sense to me.
Author Chrisal23 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) I went out with my ex for 2 years. We broke up a lot and this time she called to brake up with me over the phone. She confessed to me that she thought I was cheating on her with other girls. I wasn't by the way. I was faithful to her and tried my best to gain her trust. The reason she doesn't trust me is because the first time we broke up. This was due to me talking to another girl for advice. I have to admit it was a bit strange talking to someone new but I needed advice of why my ex was breaking up with me at the time. One year later my ex confessed to me that it was because she wanted to go out with another boy! Either ways long story short this was the reason why she didn't trust me from then on. Last time we broke up she was hanging out with another boy and went to the movies alone with him. She has told me that this boy treats her nice and has told me if I recall how I don't treat her like a princess or make her feel special. Well it's now been about a month after our breakup and I feel bad. Why? because I feel that she's seeing this boy, and I had this same feeling last time and guess what she was hanging out with him. My mind is going crazy since I'm trying to stay NC but it's hard as these thoughts go through my head. I can almost guarantee that we won't be back together since I'm not going to contact her and she won't either.From our past breakups I always went running back for her desperately. I loved her so much and wanted her in my life badly. She's the kind of girl that expects the men to do all the work , as in always coming back to her. It's like saying that if the guy really loves you, he won't ever stop chasing you. Although I would chase her forever, I feel that there's also a limit.I feel that both partners should work together to make a relationship work but am I wrong? It's just tough to cope with all this pain and try to move on when that's the only option that I seem to have. I wonder if she feels the same? How can she go through NC so easy. I say this since she has never contacted me after a breakup. Any feedback or advice would be appreciated. Thanks for listening. Edited April 30, 2012 by Chrisal23
Mr Scorpio Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 The reason she doesn't trust me is because the first time we broke up. This was due to me talking to another girl for advice. I have to admit it was a bit strange talking to someone new but I needed advice of why my ex was breaking up with me at the time. So, your ex doesn't trust you because you were talking to another girl after your ex dumped you? That makes absolutely no sense. If she left you, it is none of her business who/what/where/how/why you do what you do. And to top it off, she holds that against you while she was already seeing another guy? She had every right to see someone else at that point, but it is entirely hypocritical of her to hold your actions against you. I can almost guarantee that we won't be back together since I'm not going to contact her and she won't either. Stick with that. Although I would chase her forever, I feel that there's also a limit.I feel that both partners should work together to make a relationship work but am I wrong? No. You are not wrong. A relationship where only one party puts in any effort is destined to fail and bring you more pain. It's just tough to cope with all this pain and try to move on when that's the only option that I seem to have. It is tough. There is no doubt about that. However, shouldn't the fact that it is your only option -- if that really is the case -- make it easier? In the end, I would stay away from her. She sounds self-centered. She sounds like trouble.
Author Chrisal23 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Yes this was when she asked me for time, she broke up with me saying "I think we need a break". She sure made me feel like I did something completely wrong. On top of that she went out with this boy to eat while we were going out. This was after a conversation we both had that we wouldn't go out with a boy or a girl alone because we took it as a form of betrayal especially if we kept it a secret.This is what makes me feel she can't even keep her promises.In the end I just feel like I let go so many things from her. I wanted everything to work so bad that I let most things pass which wasn't good.
Justagirl222 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Hit the nail on the head here "t.I feel that both partners should work together to make a relationship work but am I wrong?" - you are not wrong at all!! Its a hard lesson that we all have to learn, I admit, I'm as guilty as everybody else for trying to reassusitate a dead relationship. It hurts.
Author Chrisal23 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 One thing I've learned is to not love someone when they're not willing to love you the same way. I was convinced that if I loved this girl like crazy she would eventually love me the same to the point were we would akways be together, but I guess I was wrong :/. My question is , is it foolish to love someone like crazy from the start? I mean of purse you won't love someone the first month , but I definitely felt something intense the first month. Love but at it's early stages. She was the type of person who didn't give it much until 6 months since she told me she began to feel love for me. Funny thing is we argued do much less in the first year and apparently the reason she told me was because she didn't care as much for me and didn't love me as much as she did at the moment now. So many questions I have but can't find the answers. Thanks for hearing me out.
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