AvaSylvian Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 If you're seeing a guy and he rarely texts first (but does text back), and everytime you ask to see him he has some excuse why he can't (even though he lives 5 mins away), should you just cut him off/not talk to him anymore? I want to give up on this guy but everytime he finally does ask me to hang out or texts me first, I give in. How do I end things with him?
TheFinalWord Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 If you're seeing a guy and he rarely texts first (but does text back), and everytime you ask to see him he has some excuse why he can't (even though he lives 5 mins away), should you just cut him off/not talk to him anymore? I want to give up on this guy but everytime he finally does ask me to hang out or texts me first, I give in. How do I end things with him? Not going to tell you what to do Also, if a guy is using text to set up dates, that's lame haha that's for once you're a couple. But, I do firmly believe that no matter how busy someone is (aren't we all?), we CAN and DO make time for people that are important to us...especially a girl into a girl. He will move heaven and earth! Also, some people are just flaky. Always cancelling plans. Whether you're a back-up or he just has a flaky personality, do either outcomes appeal to you? If you do want to end things, just tell him, "Hey you flake all the time, what's the deal? I don't like the pattern here"
mortensorchid Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 How long have you known this person? If it's someone you barely know, then you don't really owe him anything, just don't contact him anymore (since you seem to be the one contacting him all the time and he only responds to it). If you've known him for a bit, you can just as easily blow him off too. But if it's someone you've been with for a while, ask strait up if and when you are going to see him again. If he gives you some lame answer, break it off.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 so what were his excuses? the guy I recently dated gave so much excuses that at the end he didn't even bother with one; he chose to ignore mee came back again only to start mind games. it's f up of him. if a guy doesn't have time cor you find a guy who does. expect them to put in time ajd effort and never settle for less.
Author AvaSylvian Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Thanks for the replies! Whether you're a back-up or he just has a flaky personality, do either outcomes appeal to you? No, neither outcome appeals to me. I really like him and I'm kind of lonely so when he finally gives me the attention I want, I go for it everytime regardless of the fact that I need more than this. How long have you known this person? We've known of each other for about 7 months through mutual friends. But we started seeing each other 2 months ago. I could probably blow him off, but we live in the same town and go to the same college it would suck running into him after blowing him off. so what were his excuses? He has legitimate sounding excuses like, he's with his daughter or he has to study, work or has class...It just seems like he's ALWAYS busy with something. The reason it's throwing me off is because the first week or two he had time for me. Just lately he hasn't. It just feels like I'm an afterthought. Like I said, I want to end it but I still have feelings for him. I don't really want to blow him off. I'd like to talk to him about this without seeming clingy though. It's kind of early in the 'relationship' so I'm not sure if this is something to end it over or what. I hate not knowing when to leave or when to give the benefit of the doubt. Dating sux. LoL
RiverRunning Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 If he were really into you, he would find SOME time - even just to drop off flowers or stop in for a few minutes after work to talk. He's not doing that. Sources: "He's just not that into you." 2
TheFinalWord Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Thanks for the replies! No, neither outcome appeals to me. I really like him and I'm kind of lonely so when he finally gives me the attention I want, I go for it everytime regardless of the fact that I need more than this. We've known of each other for about 7 months through mutual friends. But we started seeing each other 2 months ago. I could probably blow him off, but we live in the same town and go to the same college it would suck running into him after blowing him off. He has legitimate sounding excuses like, he's with his daughter or he has to study, work or has class...It just seems like he's ALWAYS busy with something. The reason it's throwing me off is because the first week or two he had time for me. Just lately he hasn't. It just feels like I'm an afterthought. Like I said, I want to end it but I still have feelings for him. I don't really want to blow him off. I'd like to talk to him about this without seeming clingy though. It's kind of early in the 'relationship' so I'm not sure if this is something to end it over or what. I hate not knowing when to leave or when to give the benefit of the doubt. Dating sux. LoL Well, I have been in a similar situation. The girl always said she was busy, would cancel at the last second, "I never saw your text!" (right)...I heard it all even "I don't want a relationship right now". Guess what? Found out she was dating other guys on the weekends and starting seriously seeing someone about 1 month after telling me she wasn't ready Yeah, you pinpointed it with the lonely part. Just think, "If I had 3 or 4 other guys, would I tolerate this behavior?" If the answer is no, you just have to keep reminding yourself you are grabbing for attention only because you have no other options. Mark Twain: 'Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.' 1
Author AvaSylvian Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 If he were really into you, he would find SOME time - even just to drop off flowers or stop in for a few minutes after work to talk. He's not doing that. Sources: "He's just not that into you." Yeah, that's what I was thinking... I'm just going to end it. Reading this thread and others I realize I deserve better...why settle? Yeah, you pinpointed it with the lonely part. Just think, "If I had 3 or 4 other guys, would I tolerate this behavior?" If the answer is no, you just have to keep reminding yourself you are grabbing for attention only because you have no other options. Mark Twain: 'Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.' I have other options, I just fell for this one and really want something with him. I realize you can't make someone be into you though, but I still get hope every time he gives me the attention I want.... lol
TheFinalWord Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 I have other options, I just fell for this one and really want something with him. I realize you can't make someone be into you though, but I still get hope every time he gives me the attention I want.... lol I 100% understand. Just gotta remember at the end of the day he's just a human. No better than you. You deserve to be treated with respect Just remember that giving someone attention includes following up. Best of luck!
Author AvaSylvian Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 I 100% understand. Just gotta remember at the end of the day he's just a human. No better than you. You deserve to be treated with respect Just remember that giving someone attention includes following up. Best of luck! You're right, thanks a bunch. :-)
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