goldengirl11 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 (edited) I've felt this for a while actually re if I'm too nice. Not with family, but with friends and men. I remember my last but one ex told me that he thinks I should be more assertive. Then my ex (although not exclusive yet) appeared to use me until something better came along. Now yesterday I booked tix for me and a friend to go and see a show for my birthday (she rang and encouraged me to book them after telling me she'd changed her mind), when she said the maximum she'd pay is really £35. The only seats left though in the stalls and royal circle (she didn't want to sit in the upper circle due to her fear of heights) were £40 or £30. I decided to get the better seats at £40 as remember she said before that we may not see very well being near the back, so we would go for the £35 ones. She also said that if I did want to get more expensive ones (at £40+) that it's probably best I take someone else. Now as we agreed to go for the £35 ones and had got the £40 ones (plus booking fees obviously) I said she could give me £35 for it. I was then a bit secretly surprised that she took my offer up on it after she said that she would probably be taking me there and back home as well. She would be driving past my place though from the theatre to her house (she lives approx an hour away from me) anyway. I am unemployed currently and she now gets her pension (she earns more than me). I also find that I smile a lot to strangers even they may not come across as warm and friendly initially. I also have been told at my last trial interview that I'm friendly and nice but that the job wasn't quite right for me. Also my actual job before that I was told that I'm a lovely person but needed to be in control of the customers than the other way round. Any thoughts in going forward? Edited April 29, 2012 by goldengirl11
Author goldengirl11 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Just wanted to add that today had planned to talk to this same friend in the phonebox but had felt unwell earlier plus there was literally torrential rain outside which didn't fancy walking in, so texted her a couple of hours before to ask if we could postpone it for a day or two. Now I realise she often has her mobile off but thought she would have it on incase could no longer make it. She then rings at just after 3.30 to say that after no answer in phonebox she had just read my text and was miffed because she cancelled a day out because of me, that I sounded ok and it was sunny where she is. Also unless I was half dead that it's only fair that I should go to phonebox. So I then agreed to be there in half an hour. She later says that she could hear a cold in my voice and felt a bit mean now... an hour later. I said it was ok though. What bugs me is that she often cancels our chats due to health, sleeping problems etc, perhaps admittedly with more notice, but on the rare time I do she gets funny
Author goldengirl11 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) Apologise for no paragraph breaks - am posting on my phone! Edited April 30, 2012 by goldengirl11
Author goldengirl11 Posted May 3, 2012 Author Posted May 3, 2012 Lol. 141 views but no advice yet. Noticed though there was an assertiveness type class coming up which a local library is holding, just for the day though. Plan to go along!
FitChick Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 If you act like a doormat, people will wipe their feet on you. We teach people how to treat us.
Author goldengirl11 Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 (edited) If you act like a doormat, people will wipe their feet on you. We teach people how to treat us. I feel that if I'd had stuck up for myself more with this friend that we probably would've fell out more. Also occasionally like on Sun I had felt irritated by her reaction by asking to postpone our call and wanted to hang up on her but didn't as thought it would be rude to. She has hung up on me a few times in the past though when I feel it was uncalled for. She is also in her 60's and have known her for 6 years. Edited May 4, 2012 by goldengirl11
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