k100danny Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Me and my girlfriedn broke up yesterday. we had been through a lot lately and it wasn't a happy time for us. she has broken up with me before and always said sorry afterwards and that she does it to try and make me do things or to make me try and get well (I have an anxiety condition which prevents me from doing a lot of things) she broke up with me last week and then said she really regretted it and could we go for a meal, during this time i think i realised we argue a lot (she is very contrlling and jealous) and that as much as i accept her without the acting out and jealous behaviour ect i didnt know if i could make her happy, we went for dinner and she pretty much acted as if nothing had happened. we speak and agree we are in love and would love to make it work but we will see how it goes, a few days go by and she says i am being distant and not loving anymore (im very depressed and anxious at the minute and i feel she ahs pushe me away) anyway we have a small argument and i wont rise to the things she says while she is acting out to get a reaction, she then says i dont think this is working, i say i agree. I love you and id love for it to work but it feels like it has changed and it wont go back that way overnight if ever. we agree to leave it at that, no texts or speaking and just get on with our lives. I text her once on the evening, just saying I do love you and you have been very special but im going through a hard time and we have both been through a lot and its not that i dont want to spend time with her i just feel beaten down and im unsure if it will work or if she will ever be fully happy. she replies just saying the same really and hope we both are well ect and wish each other well for the future. I have seen on facebook she has posted a lot of things today, she knows i can see them. such as a status saying "out on a date" she is out with a female friend apparently when someone had commented, then posting things like had a great day not laughed that hard in ages, and things like that. so then i see she has checked in at a bar we used to go to a lot, which is literally 30 yards from my house. I had to go to the shops and i walked the long way round so i didnt see her on the way but she must have seen me coming out of the shop because she text me saying "ive just seen you i hope you are ok x " I dont know if she is pretending to be ok or if she really is, I dont know if her making out everything is fine is really how she feels or if she is doing it to get a reaction from me? I replied saying im fine i hope you are and then went on to say i dont think we can be friendly not at the minute anyway. I said that i was annoyed she had text me. I wished her well for her travelling (she is moving to italy in 4 weeks for the summer) and said that i hope it is great and maybe at some point in the future we will be able to speak. x I don't know what to make of it, she has thrown tantrums lots of times and kind of said its not working then come back, i got fed up of this and stopped rising to the behaviour, i think this time it is probably for good, I still love her but it clearly wasnt working. shall I just go no contact? I know this is usually how it works But because of how things have happened between us before and all the things we have been through lately it feels like im not ready to let go.
Philosoraptor Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 It really sounds like she is trying to "win" the breakup. It's something many do to feel like they are truly better off without their ex than they were with them. I'd say ditch facebook all together as you are going to read too much into everything. By keeping it you will only bring yourself further pain. Along with hiting the delete button on facebook you need to work on yourself. Learn something new, try something new, just foster your own growth. Breaking up is hard but the healing can go quickly if you concentrate on yourself and learn to find peace with the situation.
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