luvduv Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and half. We actually started dating when we were apart from each other. We went to the same university but we only agreed to start dating when I went home to Asia and already decided to transfer to a Scottish university. He came to visit me in Scotland for a month after about 3 months of dating, and we never were apart since then, aside from about 3 months between the time he left Scotland and the time I came to America in the summer. He just left for Switzerland today and I am already finding it incredibly difficult to cope with his absence. I have flights returning home (Asia) before he returns back to Scotland and I am seriously contemplating whether I should change my flights? However, even if I do that, he will be returning to his home (the States) a day after his return to Scotland. I'm not really sure how to deal with this situation. I have never been the overly-reliant kind but we have lived together for long enough that I can't seem to get used to being without him. I'm not sure how to get through summer. Does anybody have any advice?
wildgeese Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 The first few months, for me anyway, were the hardest. Especially when it's summer and gorgeous outside, and all you can think about it spending those warm days with your SO. It's tough and I'm sorry that you're having to go through it. I think I may have just been confused by all of the different places, but when will you see each other again? Keep that light at the end of the tunnel. I give the same advice for anyone trying to cope with a LDR: Keep in the amount of contact that suits both of you, always always always be honest about your needs and expectations, keep busy!!!, and just remember that you're going through this brief rough time because your partner is so incredibly worth it. Staying positive is the hardest part because some days the depression is overwhelming. But it sounds like you've done distance with him before (though I don't know how long?) and you made it through fine. Just keep busy and allow yourself some time to grieve your new found isolation. 1
cerridwen Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 The first few months, for me anyway, were the hardest. Especially when it's summer and gorgeous outside, and all you can think about it spending those warm days with your SO. It's tough and I'm sorry that you're having to go through it. I think I may have just been confused by all of the different places, but when will you see each other again? Keep that light at the end of the tunnel. I give the same advice for anyone trying to cope with a LDR: Keep in the amount of contact that suits both of you, always always always be honest about your needs and expectations, keep busy!!!, and just remember that you're going through this brief rough time because your partner is so incredibly worth it. Staying positive is the hardest part because some days the depression is overwhelming. But it sounds like you've done distance with him before (though I don't know how long?) and you made it through fine. Just keep busy and allow yourself some time to grieve your new found isolation. Wildgeese gives some good tips so I can only add one or two things more. Communicate and share. Don't put on a smiley face if what you're feeling is sad. Be honest, be open, but try not to overwhelm. Talk about your feelings, share your upset with your SO but remember he is going through it too, so be mindful not to overwhelm him by off-loading your upset. Instead, support one another and think of the good times ahead. And they're coming. It's just a rough patch right now.
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