Breck Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 So I was in a two month relationship. The 31 year old woman that I dated originally told me that she is really independent, busy, and wants to take her time to get to know someone. But then she asked me out every other day and we spent 4 days a week together for the first month and a half. Then after her friends questioned whether they would ever see her again, she started to pull away and said she thinks we may have moved too fast. We saw each other less which I accepted as I knew she originally wanted to move slowly and she needs room to breath. After two months she broke up with me saying that I am smothering her. What I don't understand is if she broke up with me, why is she continuing to invite me out with her? We have mutual friends so we both want to be on good terms, but if smothering her was the issue why does she want to spend time with me? She even asked me to be on her trivia team for trivia night at the bar. That's a weekly commitment.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 You're like a cat chasing a beam on light on the rug...you need to stop focusing on the individual act and chasing around and questioning these individual things and instead pull out and see the big picture. All of these acts are misleading and confusing because It's not the honest truth, she's hiding what she really thinks and feels about you...plus she seems like the kind of girl that frankly needs a man to be the leader in the relationship and not let her whip you around like a puppy on a leash (sorry for animal references, was just watching animal planet) Bottom line is you need to put your foot down and ask the serious questions and not let yourself be swung around on her watch (there..watches not animals) and be really direct and ask her face to face what her problem is, why did she break up with you and tell her how contradictory all of her actions have been...this won't get you back with her but at least you'll understand a little more about yourself to prevent this kind of situation in the future and just generally understand what you contributed to being strung along like this...you need to be able to call out these actions and not just let them ride out like they did on you...you've got an opinion and as a man you need to take charge (imo) when it comes to certain aspects in the dynamic of the relationship...women from my experience don't generally like to be in control and can be very indecisive with certain circumstances. Anyway, there's too much to get into here but you shouldn't let yourself be a victim to her anymore unless you enjoy this kind of behavior and don't mind being treated this way...which I know you don't but I know some people deal with it anyway rather than face confrontation or make any waves.
Author Breck Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Thank you for the advice. I agree with focusing on the big picture. She avoids confrontation at all costs which is probably why she broke up with me over te phone. I don't think she can handle honestly telling me what is going on.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 You need to go cold on this chick. This is the only way to get over her.
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