Feelsgoodman Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 How?? You tell me not to "date outside my league," and then you tell me to stop hanging around with people who are in my league, socially. How exactly does that work? Um, what? 'League' refers to where you are on the physical attractiveness scale, not your level of interest in japanese comics. Two totally different concepts. You should be pursuing guys who are in your league looks-wise. However, you should also stop han ging out with "nerds" and start socializing with normal people. If you limit yourself to guys who dress up in batman outfits and carry light-sabers, you are not going to get very far no matter what you look like (unless, of course, you look like Sarah Kerrigan from Starcraft...)
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Um, what? 'League' refers to where you are on the physical attractiveness scale, not your level of interest in japanese comics. Two totally different concepts. You should be pursuing guys who are in your league looks-wise. However, you should also stop han ging out with "nerds" and start socializing with normal people. If you limit yourself to guys who dress up in batman outfits and carry light-sabers, you are not going to get very far no matter what you look like (unless, of course, you look like Sarah Kerrigan from Starcraft...) Normal, ugly, underemployed guys that I have absolutely nothing in common with except they're desperate and will have sex with me and then dump me for someone hotter. Yay.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 How?? You tell me not to "date outside my league," and then you tell me to stop hanging around with people who are in my league, socially. How exactly does that work? You don't have to stop hanging out with nerdy/geeky people. You do need to make yourself a more desirable nerdy geeky girl. Geeky girl who's got high social cache http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_GJz3bPFtDhc/TMFMOUAyyzI/AAAAAAAAAnY/_F0f-_7ZW7M/s1600/kari-byron.jpg Geeky person who dresses EMO and in really early episodes can be found in the background wearing glasses. ... Among geeks she is a high status woman. Be like Kari not like the following.... Geeky girls who probably has low social value among geeks. Fat cosplay girls who don't take care of themselves in other ways. This is what men think when they see them but don't say to their faces. Know Your Facts - fat cosplay girls - YouTube Be like this (well known Japanese cosplayer) http://img.simplyotaku.com/entries/100/79/cosplay/gallery/mai_otome_erstin_cute_cosplay_by_kipi_09.jpg If you do things like that have enough pride in YOU to take good care of your body. Oh and if your an adult and you don't have an advanced degree or equivalent experience you are not a nerd. You want to make yourself more valuable to nerds get an advanced degree, preferably a PHD. In short you don't have to be what someone like feels good man would think is cool. You just have to have high value in the crowd you run with. That is how most people date. It's the reason doctors and nurses end up with doctors and nurses etc. PS Just for everyone else's benefit, the person below is a cross player. Even they look better than some of those spectacular fails in the videos. http://i684.photobucket.com/albums/vv205/SasuSaku_03/MaiTokiha.jpg (yeah that's a biological male).
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 .... Yeah I got that I have to be hot to attract any kind of man. Not a newsflash, thanks.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Um, what? 'League' refers to where you are on the physical attractiveness scale, not your level of interest in japanese comics. Two totally different concepts. You should be pursuing guys who are in your league looks-wise. However, you should also stop han ging out with "nerds" and start socializing with normal people. If you limit yourself to guys who dress up in batman outfits and carry light-sabers, you are not going to get very far no matter what you look like (unless, of course, you look like Sarah Kerrigan from Starcraft...) Feels good man that's not really the problem. I'll bet you any amount of money those men left her in many cases for hotter women who are into the things they are into. i.e. A man into those things and a woman who's only into french high fashion and consumerism may not mix well. As I rote to Verznh, Kari Byron, a woman who's into geeky things but has high social value among geeks.
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Feels good man that's not really the problem. I'll bet you any amount of money those men left her in many cases for hotter women who are into the things they are into. i.e. A man into those things and a woman who's only into french high fashion and consumerism may not mix well. As I rote to Verznh, Kari Byron, a woman who's into geeky things but has high social value among geeks. Yeah. Because she is hot. Ugly nerdy girl < Hot nerdy girl.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Feels good man that's not really the problem. I'll bet you any amount of money those men left her in many cases for hotter women who are into the things they are into. i.e. A man into those things and a woman who's only into french high fashion and consumerism may not mix well. As I rote to Verznh, Kari Byron, a woman who's into geeky things but has high social value among geeks. The point is that she is severely limiting her pool of potential dates if she only hangs out with nerds. Most nerds don't even date in the first place. They are more interested in playing world of warcraft and call of duty.
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 The point is that she is severely limiting her pool of potential dates if she only hangs out with nerds. Most nerds don't even date in the first place. They are more interested in playing world of warcraft and call of duty. ... So instead I should go look for ugly, unemployed guys who I have nothing in common with who will just have sex with me? That's somehow better?
Mrlonelyone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 .... Yeah I got that I have to be hot to attract any kind of man. Not a newsflash, thanks. You missed the larger point. It's not just about being "hot". It is about having higher social value in your geeky world. Having certain measurements a waist to hip raio of 0.7 and a BMI of less than 24 are just one part of that. Be the best most kick @$$ geeky girl you can be. Hypothetically if you cosplay, have the sharpest cosplay you can. Get all the details right... and as icing on the cake actually be a healthy size. It's about making yourself more attractive as a whole person. Mentally more attractive. Sociologically more attractive. The physical is only one small part of it, the easy part. Don't obsess over the physical.
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 You missed the larger point. It's not just about being "hot". It is about having higher social value in your geeky world. Having certain measurements a waist to hip raio of 0.7 and a BMI of less than 24 are just one part of that. Be the best most kick @$$ geeky girl you can be. Hypothetically if you cosplay, have the sharpest cosplay you can. Get all the details right... and as icing on the cake actually be a healthy size. It's about making yourself more attractive as a whole person. Mentally more attractive. Sociologically more attractive. The physical is only one small part of it, the easy part. Don't obsess over the physical. It's still about weight! Even in your "physical is only part of it," you emphasis that a girl should be skinny and cute! The "ugly failed cosplay!" girls had decent costumes, WAY more skill than a lot of costumes I see at cons, but because the girls are unattractive or fat, they somehow deserve to have a Youtube video mocking them. Being the "best kick-ass nerd girl" doesn't freaking matter if you're not hot. Do you think Felicia Day or Kari would be as popular if they weren't attractive, even if their personalities didn't change? No, they wouldn't.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 The point is that she is severely limiting her pool of potential dates if she only hangs out with nerds. Most nerds don't even date in the first place. They are more interested in playing world of warcraft and call of duty. That's a myth. I run in a very nerdy geeky world of physicist, mathematicians, cosmologist and astronomers. Official certified geeks. 90% are or have been married or engaged and are under 35 most under 30 even. Do you know what those nerdy guys want. The same thing all men want. A woman with a positive outlook on life. A woman who is mentally healthy. A woman who's fit enough to walk around a convention, dressed like princess leah to his Han Solo and look good doing it.
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 That's a myth. I run in a very nerdy geeky world of physicist, mathematicians, cosmologist and astronomers. Official certified geeks. 90% are or have been married or engaged and are under 35 most under 30 even. Do you know what those nerdy guys want. The same thing all men want. A woman with a positive outlook on life. A woman who is mentally healthy. A woman who's fit enough to walk around a convention, dressed like princess leah to his Han Solo and look good doing it. In other words, GUYS STILL WANT A HOT CHICK. They just want her to be nerdy too. How does that dispute what I've been saying??
soserious1 Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 V, As you've acknowledged people who do the dumping have usually done most of their emotional processing about the end of the relationship by the time they tell a partner it's over. It's easy to look & act carefree & happy if you've been over a relationship for a few months. Add to this the fact that few men are going to do any sort of public grieving over a failed relationship, particularly on a site like Facebook You ask what's wrong with you? why don't these guys keep you as a friend? V, very few people stay close with former romantic partners, despite what you see in Hollywood movies. Former lovers who do end up as friends sometimes have zero contact for years before resuming any kind of contact. You ask how these guys can treat you so nonchalantly in public? V, this goes back to point number one, they did their grieving before your relationship ended, now you're just a woman they used to know. Indeed, the fact that these guys are reasonably pleasant when they run into you is a good thing, it means your breakup wasn't ugly or overly nasty. V, it isn't you, it's just how it works when relationships end..
Mrlonelyone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 It's still about weight! Even in your "physical is only part of it," you emphasis that a girl should be skinny and cute! The "ugly failed cosplay!" girls had decent costumes, WAY more skill than a lot of costumes I see at cons, but because the girls are unattractive or fat, they somehow deserve to have a Youtube video mocking them. Being the "best kick-ass nerd girl" doesn't freaking matter if you're not hot. Do you think Felicia Day or Kari would be as popular if they weren't attractive, even if their personalities didn't change? No, they wouldn't. Yes. Kari was even popular when pregnant and after being pregnant which means FAT FAT FAT. Some people are fat and happy. You are not. If you get mentally healthy about these things they can tend to fall into place. Try this. If you are fat... your BMI is over 24*... try to loose weight until you are not fat anymore. It will be hard... but if you can do it you will feel allot better about yourself. If you feel good about yourself you become mentally more attractive. If you are mentally more attractive you will become more socially healthy. People will want to be around you as a healthy more positive person. * For 5'5" or 165.1 cm a BMI of 24 means a mass of 65.4 kg or 143 lbs. BMI = kg/(ht^2) (metric)
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Yes. Kari was even popular when pregnant and after being pregnant which means FAT FAT FAT. Some people are fat and happy. You are not. If you get mentally healthy about these things they can tend to fall into place. Try this. If you are fat... your BMI is over 24*... try to loose weight until you are not fat anymore. It will be hard... but if you can do it you will feel allot better about yourself. If you feel good about yourself you become mentally more attractive. If you are mentally more attractive you will become more socially healthy. People will want to be around you as a healthy more positive person. * For 5'5" or 165.1 cm a BMI of 24 means a mass of 65.4 kg or 143 lbs. BMI = kg/(ht^2) (metric) I HAVE FREAKING TRIED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND IT DOESN'T FREAKING WORK. Stop, stop, STOP advocating losing weight! It is not possible for all people. How can you possibly sit there and tell someone to be "mentally happy" with themselves at the same time you harp on them for how much they weight? It's completely contradictory.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 The laws of thermodynamics say it is possible to loose weight. Energy out > Energy in ==> weight loss. That's my last word on it. If you are unwilling to make any changes then guess what nothings going to change. 1
Author verhrzn Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 The laws of thermodynamics say it is possible to loose weight. Energy out > Energy in ==> weight loss. That's my last word on it. If you are unwilling to make any changes then guess what nothings going to change. And it's been disputed over, and over, and over again. Different people have different metabolisms. You can reset your "balance" point. You can't make naturally thin people overweight. Your "simple" calculation does not explain how two people of the same height and activity habits have to eat so drastically different. There are plenty of girls my height who can eat an entire pizza and never gain a pound. I look at chocolate and put on weight. There are different body types, all of which gain weight differently. Some people... are just naturally fat. But like I said, your advice completely contradicts itself. "Be happy with who you are!-oh but be skinny, too." Which just highlights my "Guys just want a hot chick." The end.
MaxNoob Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 Your "simple" calculation does not explain how two people of the same height and activity habits have to eat so drastically different. There are plenty of girls my height who can eat an entire pizza and never gain a pound. I look at chocolate and put on weight. You're not tracking these people 24 hours a day to see how much they're eating in total. BBC did such a test on 2 girls who were making the claim that the thin one could eat whatever she wanted without getting fat: BBC - How to be Slim Part 2/6 - YouTube The thin girl didn't have a higher metabolism, she just ate less. 2
Mrlonelyone Posted April 30, 2012 Posted April 30, 2012 You're not tracking these people 24 hours a day to see how much they're eating in total. BBC did such a test on 2 girls who were making the claim that the thin one could eat whatever she wanted without getting fat: BBC - How to be Slim Part 2/6 - YouTube The thin girl didn't have a higher metabolism, she just ate less. I don't think anyone wants her to be like the one who's 10 kg underweight... her BMI would be like 17 16 for comparison.
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 OH.... my god. Your seriously ignorant, you pepole telling V to lose weight... YOUR part of the reason people become anorexic. You go around telling women who are NATURALLY BMI 24, or who are NATURALLY not thin or small enough looking, that they should lsoe WEIGHT. SOME people really ARE naturally BMI 24! They are NOT FAT. It is just their natural body shape!!!!!!!!! FAT, is when a person is not active: eats terribly: and is unhealthily overweight. FAT is NOT: a women who has a large build and a slow metabolism, but workso ut daily and eats hardly anything, and eats healthily. THAT is called a " large build" or " a thick body type" EVEN if they work out 5 days a week, and eat healthily, and eat the right amount of calories...... All the evidence suggests that some peope are at their healthiest at BMI 24 or above. They are just one of these things: big boned andor/ slow metabolism. The best girls like us ( myself, V, MOST average sized girls) can do, who fall within the healthy BMI range, is work out most days for half an hour or more, try different types of exercises, make healthy choices 80% of the time. Some guys will never want us because we are not thin. Big deal. If we have the right personality and are not totally ugly and off putting, we shall find a guy who loves us for us. 1
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 I only had guys who were not into me, for my WHOLE LIFE, until I seriously changed myself. AT age 25, I now have the FIRST guy who is really into me, and crazy about who I am, and had been around way hotter girls than me a lot of times, one on one, and never thougt of leaving me or cheating. (Do not bring up the 3 some threads I made, we had a couple, and no longer do it, and he did not need to do it because I was not hot enough and he needed to bang hotter girls ok?) He is still totally crazy about me, and does not want the much hotter girls out there more than he wants me. This is a long post but I really want u to try to read most of it, because i was stuck in my own cycle earlier in my life, where no p eople were into me, romantic or otherwise.. I had to seriously change myself and becomce a positive, happy person to be around. And, I was overweight for my body type and had acne and I have a nose that is not cute; that, coupled with a bad personality that was negative, meant = no guys or people were ever into me. I just worked out, ate right ( BOTH of which u do, good for you! and became a healthy version of my body type ( which, btw, is BMI 22, the same as yOU are last time I checked), and NOT thin; I am average looking, and yet I have no problems getting guys, because I am healthy and fit, albiet not thin or super hot... AND I am a lovely, nice person, who is unique and stands out and is liked by SOME people. V - I was honestly told that I had a big nose, acne,and a negative, toxic personality, and that I would never be liked. No one was into me....... ANd yet managed to make myself come across as attractive and lovely to some people, and in turn, get the people in my life who were super into me! Again - I will reitorate, I did work out, eat right, and get rid of my hideous skin condition where it was red and spotty all over. That is it, though. I am not thin. I am not super pretty. Just fit and healthy, and enough of a nice girl for people to think highly of me. My life is no longer " oh, hopefully some people will put up with me, but I have no hope of a guy actually being into me, seeng as they will most likely dump me for a hotter girl" .. to being " I am a great girl, I am really nice, some people will love to be around me, and I will attract guys who like positive, fun, and happy girls" This all took serious work, and I still have not got a job or re built my life from my hell I went through earlier in life... But the foundations are there; I now like who I am, and in turn, i only attract guys who are into me now, because I truly think I am great and deserve them. I am no more attractive than you, V, and if I am it is not by much at all...... I just throw myself out there, and a few people love me because I am just a really nice person to be around...
Els Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 (edited) I'm curious how many Kari Byrons Mrlonelyone and co have dated, tbh. V, I know this post isn't going to stand out to you in the flood of fantasy male advice that ramped up recently. But while there are male geeks who DO only fantasize about getting ToSsGirl, Felicia Day, or Kari Byron (and inevitably fail to do so while bemoaning how unfair the world is to male geeks)... there really are those who just value a woman who enjoys the things they do (and usually find themselves much happier than the former). Myself and several other women whom I know have been seen as 'high-value' (ugh, what a term) by some men in the community. I definitely haven't been on the receiving end of the sheer quantity of attention Felicia Day and co. get, but there are definitely guys who have admired me for my passion, one of whom I'm currently with. You don't believe me when I say I'm really no Felicia Day, but please believe me when I say one of the other women isn't. I'm not going to post her picture, because it'd be mean, but it's true. She's an amazing girl, doesn't look great, but has an amazing guy who loves her. That being said, it really doesn't hurt to broaden your horizons. I don't know why you keep thinking the world is a dichotomy between 'geeks' and 'unemployed jerks'. PS: You are correct, in that Felicia Day enjoys the popularity she does partly because she's good-looking (I think she also has amazing networking and marketing skills, and is really intelligent, as she graduated class valedictorian in Maths I think). You are correct in that 'more skilled' gamers would not achieve the same sort of popularity she does because they don't look as good (case in point, again, the girl in my previous example). But popularity is just that, for the most part - being eye candy to a large portion of the population. Half of the males salivating over Felicia would be teenage guys who aren't even legal anyway and are probably using her picture for deeds that mommy doesn't allow them private use of the Internet for. Does quantity really matter? Edited May 1, 2012 by Elswyth
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 ELswyth - the main point is; there are girls that are not great looking, who have loving boyfriends who adore them. You and I, when we are single, would know within ourselves that a great guy who adores us would eventually show up... we would not assume most guys would have low interest, not find us attractive, and use us for fun, and leave us when they actually find a girl that is good enough for them..... V's attitude sounds like she thinks she is ugly, and has no great things about herself that compensates for her lack of attraction, and will only get guys that have little or now interest if they are decent guys; and only the total idiots and hideous guys will want her.
Els Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Yup, I would stay away from a person with such low self esteem, personally. But admittedly some of the advice V is receiving here would just tear her self esteem down further. Unfortunately, I think those will be the posts she takes to heart the most, and there's nothing we can do about it, since I don't think they're violating community guidelines either.
Leigh 87 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Yup, I would stay away from a person with such low self esteem, personally. But admittedly some of the advice V is receiving here would just tear her self esteem down further. Unfortunately, I think those will be the posts she takes to heart the most, and there's nothing we can do about it, since I don't think they're violating community guidelines either. It is a shame, because V has enough intelligence, and has the looks to get a guy that adores her - if only she had the right attitude. It took me years to change my attitude, years to find out what was missing in me - turns out, I was focusing too much on dieting and being thin, and not enough on being a wonderfuly positive, happy person... Now, I am very curvy and no longer thin, but I am so positive and nice, I have no trouble getting guys to like me. ... Once and for all.... WHAT will it take to totally change her attitude!?!?!?!?!?!?! ...... she is better than what people have told her she is, if she believes in herself.
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