What Exes' Treatment Says About Me

[verhrzn]

So is this the reason you have refused to try out any of the constructive advice offered you here? Sounds to me like you've made up your mind what the 'problem' is, and all you want is for people to tell you that. Then you can say that you've tried everything pertaining to your appearance, and it's all genetic... thus exonerating you from any blame or need to try.

 

You don't need us to do that for you. If all you want is a pass to 'not try and not care about dating' anymore, then give it to yourself! In another thread you said you'd realized you don't need a guy to be happy. For you, that's really pretty great progress. Why not build on that?

 

Because the other thread devolved into how, nope, I'm an awful person because I DON'T have a relationship, and all single women are drama queens/have too high of standards/are liars, etc.

 

And again... what constructive advice? "Be positive"? "Look at it from new angles"? What does that mean? I could open any self-help dating book in the world and get the same vague advice. What does it mean? How do you do that? What does it look like? How long do you try it before you give up and try something else?

 

And I HAVE been trying to give up, and failing miserably. I can't get over wanting a relationship. It KILLS me that I want one. I'd give anything to take a scalpel to the brain and remove that part of me.

 

I've even tried asking for advice on THAT before (how to give up), and all I got was "If you wanted to, you would."

 

I am at my freaking wits' end. If I don't figure this out soon, I am going to go absolutely insane.

[mesmerized]

It was more the "your situation isn't special, you are the problem, go to some other forum" that I got the GTFO vibe from. If you went to a therapist/friend, and they told you that, you wouldn't honestly assume they meant they wanted you to go away and stop talking about it?

 

Most posters would be thrilled if I went the f*ck away and stopped posting. I'm sure Cracker Jack would. So why am I dramatic for correctly saying out loud what everyone is thinking?

 

And yeah, I'm angry. I'm angry that I keep trying and failing, and I'm angry that I get no sympathy or helpful advice, and yet get BLAMED for it. Lots of people compare me to SD: the guy has been here for years, posting the same thing over and over, and never doing anything about the advice he's given. Yet his threads get up to 20+ pages, with people reaching deep into his psyche, even as he argues with them.

 

I actually TRY things, and yet I get the same advice over and over, and worse, I get posters being constantly frustrated with my "arguing." How is that fair? Why does SD get away with it on the whole, and I don't?? And then when I get angry about that fact, more people just pile on about my negativity??

 

Do ya see where the frustration might come from?

 

I understand your frustration. What I don't understand is why you think you posting angrily on this forum is going to be at all helpful for you. You spend a huge amount of time arguing with people here, making yourself even angrier, perhaps you could have spent that energy on something more positive. And this is not to say I don't want to read your posts anymore. I'm saying this solely for your sake because I think this forum is doing you more harm than good.

[verhrzn]

Put this guy on ignore, simple.

 

Why? Maybe proving it to the forum would be nice. I'd love to stop being called a liar.

 

My coworkers didn't believe that I never got hit on. So this weekend, I let them dress me up however they wanted, do my hair, do my make-up. They choose the bar, and one of them acted as impartial judge. If I "threw" the competition by acting negative/sulky/crazy, I lose the bet and had to table dance. The only way to avoid it was to act happy, cheerful, and STILL not get hit on.

 

Shocker... I didn't. Not for the entire three hours. My coworkers finally had to concede that I was right.

 

So maybe it'd be good to have something similar here. I am sick, sick, SICK of my opinion not being taken seriously because everyone assumes I'm a liar.

 

I understand your frustration. What I don't understand is why you think you posting angrily on this forum is going to be at all helpful for you. You spend a huge amount of time arguing with people here, making yourself even angrier, perhaps you could have spent that energy on something more positive. And this is not to say I don't want to read your posts anymore. I'm saying this solely for your sake because I think this forum is doing you more harm than good.

 

The thoughts have to go somewhere. They wouldn't go to anything "positive"... they don't work that way. I can't distract them... not by cleaning, not by sewing, not by writing, not by exercise. They're on a constant loop, they don't stop unless I talk about them.

 

So until I can afford therapy, it's either talk about them here, or alienate everyone in my life. Or go insane and try to kill myself, which is what happened the last time I tried to suppress talking about my feelings.

Edited April 30, 2012 by verhrzn

[Feelsgoodman]

Tell ya what; let's do an experiment. Let's set up two OKCupid accounts. Both of them will have my exact same information. In one will be my pictures, and in the other, you can put up pictures of a girl you deem is "hot". I GUARANTEE your account will get messages, and mine will get none. You can even monitor the inbox.

Well DUH!!!! Of course the hot girl will get more messages. Why would you even want to set up such an experiment? You are not hot, so you can't expect to just open an OK Cupid and wait for men to fall in your lap. That sort of stuff only works for attractive people.

 

You have to adopt other strategies, you know the ones used by other average and unattractive people. The less attractive you are, the harder it is to find a mate. I hope you are not discovering America here. You will encounter a lot of rejection but you will have to persevere, just like other men and women in your circumstances. Just because something is challenging doesn't mean it's impossible.

 

If you lived closeby, I could find you a living, breathing male who is "somewhat employed" within 24 hours. Guaranteed. Either you are totally lying about your standards or you have zero social skills.

[threebyfate]

Why are there only two ways to be, hot or ugly?

 

Since only the top 10% are hot and the bottom 10% are ugly, what the hell happened to the other 80% in between?

 

Do the math, people!

[verhrzn]

Well DUH!!!! Of course the hot girl will get more messages. Why would you even want to set up such an experiment? You are not hot, so you can't expect to just open an OK Cupid and wait for men to fall in your lap. That sort of stuff only works for attractive people.

 

You have to adopt other strategies, you know the ones used by other average and unattractive people. The less attractive you are, the harder it is to find a mate. I hope you are not discovering America here. You will encounter a lot of rejection but you will have to persevere, just like other men and women in your circumstances. Just because something is challenging doesn't mean it's impossible.

 

If you lived closeby, I could find you a living, breathing male who is "somewhat employed" within 24 hours. Guaranteed. Either you are totally lying about your standards or you have zero social skills.

 

My ultimate point was more that I wouldn't get ANY messages; the hot girl was mostly as a control. Heck you could use an "average" woman in your profile.

 

I guess I did lie about my standards. I would also add "single" and "sober." You also seem to miss the point that I could get a guy to "bang" me, because guys will bang anything. But for a guy to DATE me, yeah, more than "breathing and has a vagina" is required.

[Els]

Because the other thread devolved into how, nope, I'm an awful person because I DON'T have a relationship, and all single women are drama queens/have too high of standards/are liars, etc.

 

Again, because you fixated on what a very small portion of the posters said - and they are the ones who try to turn everything into a flame war. Your thread, especially coming from an article with 'feminist vibes', was just prime bait. Nothing more.

 

And again... what constructive advice? "Be positive"? "Look at it from new angles"? What does that mean? I could open any self-help dating book in the world and get the same vague advice. What does it mean? How do you do that? What does it look like? How long do you try it before you give up and try something else?

 

When do you intend to try counselling? It's as good first step to all of the stuff above.

 

And I HAVE been trying to give up, and failing miserably. I can't get over wanting a relationship. It KILLS me that I want one. I'd give anything to take a scalpel to the brain and remove that part of me.

 

I've even tried asking for advice on THAT before (how to give up), and all I got was "If you wanted to, you would."

 

I am at my freaking wits' end. If I don't figure this out soon, I am going to go absolutely insane.

 

So... all the good mojo from that article went to waste just because a few posters slammed it?

[Els]

Ummm.. also, I'm not sure what your friends' experiences were, but I know many physically attractive women who DON'T get hit on for all of 3 hours. I'm not certain how one night at a bar proves everything.

[verhrzn]

Ummm.. also, I'm not sure what your friends' experiences were, but I know many physically attractive women who DON'T get hit on for all of 3 hours. I'm not certain how one night at a bar proves everything.

 

Well it's gonna take about... 6 months to save up for 1 month of therapy. So... got any suggestions about what to do until then?

 

As far as the rest... people are always telling SD to go out and hit on girls, to make friends. He gets constructive, "action" advice. I get psycho-New Agey "look at it from a new perspective.

 

What will it take to convince this forum that I've actually tried what they've suggested and it hasn't worked? What "action" advice can I do to show I actually AM just hopeless? At the very least, so I can stop being labeled a liar and my threads dismissed as "attention whoring."

 

Give me something to actually DO. I will do it, to the very best of my ability, and prove my point.

 

.... Because the coworker I was with got hit on, so it doesn't seem to be all that of an oddity.

[Els]

Give me something to actually DO. I will do it, to the very best of my ability, and prove my point.

 

Well it's gonna take about... 6 months to save up for 1 month of therapy. So... got any suggestions about what to do until then?

 

How about this? Most places I know have free or very much subsidized counselling, somewhere, somehow. Go to your local church if you really have no other choice.

 

As far as the rest... people are always telling SD to go out and hit on girls, to make friends. He gets constructive, "action" advice. I get psycho-New Agey "look at it from a new perspective.

 

What will it take to convince this forum that I've actually tried what they've suggested and it hasn't worked? What "action" advice can I do to show I actually AM just hopeless? At the very least, so I can stop being labeled a liar and my threads dismissed as "attention whoring."

 

Introspection is an action, actually. And honest introspection is an incredibly challenging action that takes time and practice to learn.

 

SD gets 'action' advice because he wasn't already doing anything - though from his latest thread, he seems to have made good progress there. He also gets 'mindset' advice, FWIW, from many of us, but action is also suggested because it isn't already present. You already have half of the equation going for you - you have friends and are approaching people. There is still half left.

 

I honestly think that even if SD succeeds by virtue of the 'asking many women out' motto, his ensuing relationship will not stand a fighting chance until he too has worked on his mindset. True to that hypothesis, you have had more Rs than him, but they just did not work out.

[verhrzn]

How about this? Most places I know have free or very much subsidized counselling, somewhere, somehow. Go to your local church if you really have no other choice.

 

Tried it... they'll only offer it if you're a regular member of their church (attend services, volunteer, etc.) Since I'm not a big fan of God lately, that really doesn't work too well. I know you're not in America, so maybe that's the big difference but... really. There's NOTHING here. In fact, some of the clinics won't even take me on as a sliding fee, because I technically do have insurance. (The fact that my insurance doesn't cover it, is irrelevant.) Welcome to having mental health issues in the US.

 

 

Introspection is an action, actually. And honest introspection is an incredibly challenging action that takes time and practice to learn.

 

SD gets 'action' advice because he wasn't already doing anything - though from his latest thread, he seems to have made good progress there. He also gets 'mindset' advice, FWIW, from many of us, but action is also suggested because it isn't already present. You already have half of the equation going for you - you have friends and are approaching people. There is still half left.

 

I honestly think that even if SD succeeds by virtue of the 'asking many women out' motto, his ensuing relationship will not stand a fighting chance until he too has worked on his mindset. True to that hypothesis, you have had more Rs than him, but they just did not work out.

 

... They dumped me for hotter girls, and immediately forgot I ever existed. I don't think that's just a "they didn't work out" problem. Thus, this thread.

 

That really isn't fair... that I don't get any "action" advice, and that introspection is supposedly so difficult and yet posters get so frustrated and angry with me, and constantly tell me that I'm wrong.

 

Either posters need to actually accept my version of the events, or they need to present a situation where they can prove I am incorrect. (Or they need to stop piling on me about how I'm a liar, invalidating my experiences, and rolling their eyes at me.)

[Els]

Tried it... they'll only offer it if you're a regular member of their church (attend services, volunteer, etc.) Since I'm not a big fan of God lately, that really doesn't work too well. I know you're not in America, so maybe that's the big difference but... really. There's NOTHING here. In fact, some of the clinics won't even take me on as a sliding fee, because I technically do have insurance. (The fact that my insurance doesn't cover it, is irrelevant.) Welcome to having mental health issues in the US.

 

Ugh, that sucks. I've never seen a church demand a caveat like that, they almost always offer them freely. But I guess we're back to introspection, then.

 

... They dumped me for hotter girls, and immediately forgot I ever existed. I don't think that's just a "they didn't work out" problem.

 

Right, and what does this say about the TYPE of guys you were with?

 

That really isn't fair... that I don't get any "action" advice, and that introspection is supposedly so difficult and yet posters get so frustrated and angry with me, and constantly tell me that I'm wrong.

 

You wanted a challenge, did you not?

 

Either posters need to actually accept my version of the events, or they need to present a situation where they can prove I am incorrect. (Or they need to stop piling on me about how I'm a liar, invalidating my experiences, and rolling their eyes at me.)

 

I don't think anyone except one very obvious flame-baiter has called you a liar in this thread.

[Cracker Jack]

For the record, I believe many of us here actually believe your experiences and understand your difficulties. Let's forget about trying to prove you incorrect and say everyone here accepts your version of the events that have taken place. Kay, then what? You have to be willing to meet people halfway, since, from what I see, it's simply advice being offered to which you reply with "Tried it. I think self-help books are delusional", etc.

 

I think that's the main reason why people have become frustrated with trying to help you.

[verhrzn]

Right, and what does this say about the TYPE of guys you were with?

 

That they can do better than me. They're all deliriously happy in their lives without me.

 

 

You wanted a challenge, did you not?

 

Um... so, what's the challenge? Introspection? Really? How bout an action? Something I can do to prove one way or the other, so posters stop shutting me down?

 

I don't think anyone except one very obvious flame-baiter has called you a liar in this thread.

 

Outright, yes. But so many posters imply it... imply that it's not really my looks, that I must not really be trying, that my experiences can't really be that bad, that I'm ignoring the positive... on and on.

 

Guaranteed every time I say something like "ugly girls have it rough too," I get at LEAST one poster saying "You're not ugly, so I'm gonna ignore the rest of what you said."

 

For the record, I believe many of us here actually believe your experiences and understand your difficulties. Let's forget about trying to prove you incorrect and say everyone here accepts your version of the events that have taken place. Kay, then what? You have to be willing to meet people halfway, since, from what I see, it's simply advice being offered to which you reply with "Tried it. I think self-help books are delusional", etc.

 

I think that's the main reason why people have become frustrated with trying to help you.

 

If people believed me, that actually would be meeting me halfway. Sometimes, all I really do want is sympathy and some acknowledgment.

 

If people believed that my situation is hopeless, then some advice on how to get rid of wanting a relationship would be greatly appreciated. Or how to get over the idea that I'm an unattractive person, who is worthless to the opposite sex. How to deal with lifelong single hood, when everyone else is partnered up. (And since something like 85% of people marry, that's a high likelihood.)

Edited April 30, 2012 by verhrzn

[Els]

That they can do better than me. They're all deliriously happy in their lives without me.

 

......No, that they are superficial, immature men who were likely with you because your low self-esteem flagged you as an 'easy catch', and you could not filter them out because your only 'requirement' is 'must be okay with dating me'.

 

 

Um... so, what's the challenge? Introspection? Really? How bout an action? Something I can do to prove one way or the other, so posters stop shutting me down?

 

Why is proving something to us so important? We aren't the ones who are going to be living your life. When a problem resides in the mind, action usually involves the mind as well.

 

Outright, yes. But so many posters imply it... imply that it's not really my looks, that I must not really be trying, that my experiences can't really be that bad, that I'm ignoring the positive... on and on.

 

Guaranteed every time I say something like "ugly girls have it rough too," I get at LEAST one poster saying "You're not ugly, so I'm gonna ignore the rest of what you said."

 

Saying that it's not really your looks is not the same thing as denying your experiences, you know. It is disagreeing with the REASON for them.

[verhrzn]

......No, that they are superficial, immature men who were likely with you because your low self-esteem flagged you as an 'easy catch', and you could not filter them out because your only 'requirement' is 'must be okay with dating me'.

 

"Who then went on to have perfectly happy relationships with fantastic hot women." .... So obviously not that superficial or immature. These guys get rewarded with happiness and love, and I'm alone and on LS every night. If they were as immature and superficial as you claim, would they get rewarded with perfect relationships?

 

And if you say yes, then really, what the f*ck IS the point, cause f*ck that, universe. That is so twisted and depressing, I'd rather someone just shoot me than live in that world.

 

 

Why is proving something to us so important? We aren't the ones who are going to be living your life. When a problem resides in the mind, action usually involves the mind as well.

 

Saying that it's not really your looks is not the same thing as denying your experiences, you know. It is disagreeing with the REASON for them.

 

Except no one ever says, if it's not my looks, then what is it? Posters always come back to my "negativity," but won't address me when I point out that's illogical.

 

I want to prove it for the simple sake of not being called, indirectly or otherwise, a liar any longer. So people can help me with the ACTUAL problem, instead of divulging off into all these other branches.

 

But mostly, I just want some solid, "do step a, do step b, do step c" advice.

[Cracker Jack]

If people believed that my situation is hopeless, then some advice on how to get rid of wanting a relationship would be greatly appreciated. Or how to get over the idea that I'm an unattractive person, who is worthless to the opposite sex. How to deal with lifelong single hood, when everyone else is partnered up. (And since something like 85% of people marry, that's a high likelihood.)

 

But see, I'm not sure that advice (The 1st example and the last example, advice on rejecting the idea that you're unattractive is fine) would be helpful. It might be a temporary band-aid, maybe--but since you desire a relationship, I doubt advice on getting comfortable with lifetime singlehood would be anything but useless here.

 

Getting over the belief that you're unattractive has to start from within. That might sound lame, but that's really what it comes down to. I've had to do it, and it took a lot of soul-searching on my part. I'm still a working progress, tho.

 

You have a nice job, you're obviously intelligent, and you're into cool things, so realistically, you're definitely not a bottom woman. You have enough to offer a man, but you just haven't met him yet. That's how you have to look at things. The ex's who've dumped you in the past need to be forgotten because they're not relevant to the big picture.

 

I honestly believe just about everyone here would prefer to see you happy rather than see you stuck in this vicious cycle that you seem to be in. I know I do.

[Els]

"Who then went on to have perfectly happy relationships with fantastic hot women." .... So obviously not that superficial or immature. These guys get rewarded with happiness and love, and I'm alone and on LS every night. If they were as immature and superficial as you claim, would they get rewarded with perfect relationships?

 

1) You don't know how a relationship really is. For all you know, they're puppy dogging her because they're just that desperate for a 'hot' woman, she's treating them like crap and neither of them are happy. Or for all you know, they may be married but he's cheating behind her back with an even 'hotter' woman but not leaving because he doesn't want to deal with a divorce. You don't know, so comparing with other relationships is really a moot point.

 

2) Even if they were genuinely happy, the world isn't transactional, again.

 

3) Some people are just more compatible than others.

 

And if you say yes, then really, what the f*ck IS the point, cause f*ck that, universe. That is so twisted and depressing, I'd rather someone just shoot me than live in that world.

 

And statements like this are the entire reason I keep pressuring you to see a professional. It really sucks that there are none willing to offer you help.

 

 

Except no one ever says, if it's not my looks, then what is it? Posters always come back to my "negativity," but won't address me when I point out that's illogical.

 

But you have not. I don't think anyone is denying that there ARE guys who will not be attracted to you because of their physical preferences. Of course there are.

 

But as for the rest of them, who are fine with how you look, what do you think is killing their attraction?

 

Look, V, as I said repeatedly, the battle here is really in your own mind. Taking superficial 'actions' is not going to address that. You could slim down to 100 lbs, get plastic surgery on your face, whatever, but that is still not going to address the incredible strain that your mindset will place on both you, your choice of a future partner, and your future partner himself. Heck, I feel the strain all the way over here, and I'm not even physically there with you.

 

I think I've said enough for this thread - I really don't have the time to argue with people for their own sakes. Good luck with everything.

[TheFinalWord]

I will give you the step a, b, and c you seek.

 

Your major problem is you are defining your self-value by being in a relationship. Your self-worth comes by being yourself. A relationship should only supplement your already great life. Work on having the great life first; lay the foundation if you will. Don't even bother trying for a long-term relationship until you can do this. If it means a few years, then that is better than what you are going through now.

 

For example you say you are growing your hair, yet you resent it. You are doing it for a man. That is counter-productive. You should do what you personally like and then a man will be lucky to be a part of your life. Not vice versa.

 

Step 1) Tell yourself most relationships don't work. The odds are stacked against all of us! In theory, only one relationship will work: hopefully the person we marry. Most of the time, relationships do not work. It's a fact that is part of life. You have to accept it and not internalize it so deeply.

 

Step 2) Stop chasing men until you can be positive. All of that family drama is probably coming out in other ways.

 

Step 3) Change for yourself, not for what you think men will want. That may work for a bit, but for a long-term relationship men need someone who is genuine.

 

Step 4) Don't get mad at us! There is only a little bit we can glean from an internet forum. It seems you are someone requests feedback, and then when it is given, you defy it and say we don't understand. We are just trying to help. But if that is the attitude you have in relationships, I can tell you it gets tiring and draining. Learn to listen instead of taking in a snippet and mentally already preparing a rebuttal. Just absorb what people are saying. Think about it, glean what you can and move on.

 

Step 5) Learn to just have fun! Laugh every day! Then worry about a relationship. Relationships are supposed to be fun. If a man is with you and feels constantly stress he is going to bolt. No matter how good a girl looks. Look at those desperate housewives. I don't care how big their chest is, if a woman acted like that I would be gone in a flash!

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am older so realistically, I am in an even worse spot than you.

 

I am not just about to go and off myself because I am single.

 

What I plan to do and what I suggest you do, is let go of this constant internal struggle. Bump "being in a relationship" down your priority list.

 

You said you had 5 boyfriends. In all likelihood, there will be the 6th one. And sure, your other relationships failed but so have mine and so have everyone's until they meet the person they marry (even then marriage may fail). I am trying to say that what you have experienced is completely normal but you are distorting it in your mind to have some hugely negative implications.

 

Accept. Breathe. Relax.

[Feelsgoodman]

"Who then went on to have perfectly happy relationships with fantastic hot women." .... So obviously not that superficial or immature. These guys get rewarded with happiness and love, and I'm alone and on LS every night. If they were as immature and superficial as you claim, would they get rewarded with perfect relationships?

So, if those guys were able able to have relationships with "fantastic hot women" it means that, in all likelihood, these guys are pretty hot themselves. Let's face it, "fantastic hot women" rarely date guys who are ugly or even average looking. Yet, you claimed that these guys were ugly and basically losers.

 

With every post you make, you reveal that you are not being truthful about your supposedly "reasonable" standards. As I told you right from the start, you are obviously after guy who are out of your league.

[verhrzn]

So, if those guys were able able to have relationships with "fantastic hot women" it means that, in all likelihood, these guys are pretty hot themselves. Let's face it, "fantastic hot women" rarely date guys who are ugly or even average looking. Yet, you claimed that these guys were ugly and basically losers.

 

With every post you make, you reveal that you are not being truthful about your supposedly "reasonable" standards. As I told you right from the start, you are obviously after guy who are out of your league.

 

Or the hot women have low standards themselves. You automatically make the assumption that these women, be virtue of being hot, can get any guy they want... But maybe hot guys don't want them. Or maybe there just AREN'T any single hot guys around.

 

The girls I'm referring to are nerds themselves. Hot nerds, but still nerds. The only types of guys who seem to like nerdy girls, are nerdy guys.

 

Plenty of hot women date losers. How many websites are there dedicated to "hot women with douchebags"? How many threads are there asking why convicts, drug dealers, etc. get hot women?

 

Like I've told YOU, over and over, I've had several guys on this forum look at my exes and say I'm perfectly within my league. And even the disfigured, underemployed guys don't approach me. So there goes your whole "you're rejecting guys in your league."

 

You're just obsessed with calling me a liar, and yet you won't take the challenge I offered that would prove even with my low-bar standards, I can't get a guy.

[Feelsgoodman]

Or the hot women have low standards themselves. You automatically make the assumption that these women, be virtue of being hot, can get any guy they want... But maybe hot guys don't want them. Or maybe there just AREN'T any single hot guys around.

It's not an assumption, it's a proven fact. 95% of the time I see a hot woman out and about with her BF, the guy is equally hot. In the case of the other 5%, the guy is loaded. It is exceptionally rare for highly beautiful to be dating dating average/below-average looking men of modest means. In fact, I don't know of any such couple in real life.

 

Like I've told YOU, over and over, I've had several guys on this forum look at my exes and say I'm perfectly within my league.

I don't believe they were honest with you.

 

And even the disfigured, underemployed guys don't approach me. So there goes your whole "you're rejecting guys in your league."

Oh so now you are being rejected by "disfigured" men too...lol. I don't know where you live but it must be a very good place for a single man if even "disfigured" guys can get hot women...

[Feelsgoodman]

The girls I'm referring to are nerds themselves. Hot nerds, but still nerds. The only types of guys who seem to like nerdy girls, are nerdy guys.

I don't understand your obsession with self-identifying as a nerd. Maybe that's also part of the problem. Stop hanging out with nerds/gamers/trekkies/anime fans/other assorted weirdos and your love life just might improve...

[verhrzn]

I don't understand your obsession with self-identifying as a nerd. Maybe that's also part of the problem. Stop hanging out with nerds/gamers/trekkies/anime fans/other assorted weirdos and your love life just might improve...

 

How?? You tell me not to "date outside my league," and then you tell me to stop hanging around with people who are in my league, socially. How exactly does that work?