Sophia12345 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 (edited) I found this website yesterday and for the past 12 hours have been reading stories non stop! It helps it really does, gives an insight into how I should go about my break up. Ill give a bit of background : We spent 5 years together up untill about a month ago when he ended it stating he wanted to 'chill, live his life, just do what he wants to for a bit'. Which to be fair I completely understand, he is growing up wants to experience live ect... I did the same although we were still together and he understood. Anyway this past month has been hell, him 'living life' has resulted in making contact with his ex and visiting girls he met on his holiday but whatever I get its part of the process. I have been pretty good with no contact on my part, I mean I wouldn't talk to him if he didn't message me first. It allways lasts about 2 days and then BAM i hear from him. Yesterday we made the agreement that whilst he was doing his own thing, I was to be the only girl he spends time with on a loving basis - Is that him asking for the best of both worlds? Anyway, I love him and I don't know if im being naive about the whole thing as i'm taking this as a part in our relationship we need to deal with rather than a breakup. I don't know, I don't want to put my all into this and be left to pick up the peices at the end but I also have no intentions of giving up. He constantly says he loves and misses me he just needs to get 'being young' out of him. I've made the decision to stick with it, if it doesn't work out atleast I tried right? Rather that than regret.... I realised i've contridicted myself through the whole thing :S Edited April 29, 2012 by Sophia12345 spelling
beyond Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I found this website yesterday and for the past 12 hours have been reading stories non stop! It helps it really does, gives an insight into how I should go about my break up. Ill give a bit of background : We spent 5 years together up untill about a month ago when he ended it stating he wanted to 'chill, live his life, just do what he wants to for a bit'. Which to be fair I completely understand, he is growing up wants to experience live ect... I did the same although we were still together and he understood. Anyway this past month has been hell, him 'living life' has resulted in making contact with his ex and visiting girls he met on his holiday but whatever I get its part of the process. I have been pretty good with no contact on my part, I mean I wouldn't talk to him if he didn't message me first. It allways lasts about 2 days and then BAM i hear from him. Yesterday we made the agreement that whilst he was doing his own thing, I was to be the only girl he spends time with on a loving basis - Is that him asking for the best of both worlds? Anyway, I love him and I don't know if im being naive about the whole thing as i'm taking this as a part in our relationship we need to deal with rather than a breakup. I don't know, I don't want to put my all into this and be left to pick up the peices at the end but I also have no intentions of giving up. He constantly says he loves and misses me he just needs to get 'being young' out of him. I've made the decision to stick with it, if it doesn't work out atleast I tried right? Rather that than regret.... I realised i've contridicted myself through the whole thing :S Whilst he's doing his thing you are the only girl he spends time with on a loving basis? What does that mean? He gets to go and see ex gf's do as he pleases, but comes back to you? Yes, I think he wants to have the best of both worlds. It's up to you if you want to provide that for him. Personally, I would have more respect for myself and believe he would have for you, if you 'set him free' and went NC. 1
Author Sophia12345 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Whilst he's doing his thing you are the only girl he spends time with on a loving basis? What does that mean? He gets to go and see ex gf's do as he pleases, but comes back to you? Yes, I think he wants to have the best of both worlds. It's up to you if you want to provide that for him. Personally, I would have more respect for myself and believe he would have for you, if you 'set him free' and went NC. I think your right i'm just having a hard time coming to terms with this. He apologised for wanting to see his ex (she declined his offer of a meet) and said he only did it because he knew me and him were not together and knew he could. I know that does not make it acceptable and maybe i'm letting him get away with it essentially because i'm understanding of it. I dont know I thought i had my head screwed on with this whole thing but today have come to realise that I'm no where near dealing with this
beyond Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I think your right i'm just having a hard time coming to terms with this. He apologised for wanting to see his ex (she declined his offer of a meet) and said he only did it because he knew me and him were not together and knew he could. I know that does not make it acceptable and maybe i'm letting him get away with it essentially because i'm understanding of it. I dont know I thought i had my head screwed on with this whole thing but today have come to realise that I'm no where near dealing with this It's ok, I know its a lot easier said than done when emotions are involved and you know him best but it does seem from an outsiders point of view that he wants to keep you around whilst exploring other options. If you don't want this and it doesn't sound as if you do, then you need to protect yourself.
Author Sophia12345 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 It's ok, I know its a lot easier said than done when emotions are involved and you know him best but it does seem from an outsiders point of view that he wants to keep you around whilst exploring other options. If you don't want this and it doesn't sound as if you do, then you need to protect yourself. the part thats the worst is I know your right and I also know what im like and I know i'll learn the hard way (ergh). Ive spent so much time reading and i KNOW no contact moving on is the best thing to do yet I still cant bring myself to just do it for fear that will be it. done. Why do i do it to myself, i feel to stupid thanks for listening though! Its much easier to talk on here, type it all out than try and explain to a freind as theyve probably heard enough lol
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