Umberto Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Hi everyone. I would like to share my breakup experience with you, I have the impression that it will help me deal better with everything that has been going on. It is a really long story, we were together for almost 3 years… Oh, there’s one key piece of information to keep in mind so you can understand everything: when I met my ex, in May 2009, I had been chosen for a 2-year exchange program in another continent (I’m from Latin America and was selected by an European university). So when I met her, I knew that in August 2009 I was going to move to the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. And I made sure I told her that the day we met. Anyways, back to May 2009. I went to a college party with a few friends, and was introduced to this cute girl. We chatted for a long time, had fun and ended up kissing. This might sound stupid, but I’m pretty sure that when we kissed we both felt something different, it was like we had been looking for each other for some time and finally happened to meet. When the party was over, I took her home, and made sure to note down her number. In the following weeks, we started dating, and in a relatively short time I think we were both falling in love. We would never bring up the subject that I was about to move, we just didn’t care. I was happy, she was happy, things were going great. But then… August 2009 came, and it was time for me to leave. She even took me to the airport. I remember sitting on the airplane sit and feeling this horrible pain – at some point, I even considered giving up of everything so that I wouldn’t have to leave her. But it was too late, in 12 hours there were thousands of kilometers between us. A couple of months passed, and we would talk every single day on Skype. You see, we never decided what we were going to do with the fact that we didn’t live in the same continent anymore. I think we were both afraid of doing the rational thing to do, that was breaking up. So it is safe to affirm that we were in a (really) long distance relationship. By November 2009, she told me she had decided to move to Europe too. She wanted to study German, so she decided to live in Germany from February 2010 to February 2011. Even though I was living in France, this was amazing news! But then she told me the best part: she was coming to France to spend New Year’s Eve and stay almost 2 months with me in Paris. I think it is easy to imagine how that let me happy. In December 2009, she arrived in Paris, and there I was at the airport to pick her up. The following weeks were easily the best I ever had in my life. We were like a couple again. We would sleep and wake up together everyday. But then… February 2010 came and it was her time to move. It was extremely sad to watch her leave, but at least France and Germany were way closer than Europe and Brazil (I'm Brazilian). So in the following months, I would go to Germany to visit her and she would come to France to visit me. In July 2010, we both had breaks from our schools and travelled Europe together, it was an amazing experience. This kept going relatively well for most part of the time. Eventually, we would argue about something, but I would say that it was caused more by the distance between us than by any relationship problem. In December 2010, we spent Christmas and New Year’s Eve together, and in January 2011 we made our last trip together before she would move back to Brazil. It was heartbreaking to watch her leave, again. So now we are in February 2011, I was still in Europe and she was in Brazil. And then things started to become at little strange. We would talk less on Skype, she seemed more interested in hanging out with her friends than chatting with me. I thought that it was somehow understandable, she had spent a whole year away from them, but I wasn’t very happy with the way things were going. Fast forward to June 2011. It was my time to go back home. I was so anxious to finally see her, my friends and my family again. The day I arrived, there she was at the airport. On the way back home, she told me “I so happy that we can finally be together!”. Believe me, I was too. But then, in late August, early September 2011, she told me she wanted to break up because she didn’t love me anymore. I think you can imagine how deeply this touched me. I was completely numb. I remember getting more angry than actually sad, I just didn’t want to see her anymore, listen from her anymore, she was better off dead to me. I kept thinking “after everything we did to be together for all this time, how could she want to break up?!”. For a month or so, we didn’t talk. But then she sent me an email asking how I was and if I wanted to talk about what had happened, she still wanted to be friends, and I sent her back a cold answer telling I didn’t want to see her. Shortly after I regretted having done that, I clearly still had feelings for her, so I decided to go to her house so that we would talk. I told her I still loved her and that I wanted another chance for us to try to be together, and she agreed. Kissing her again made me forget all the cr*p sh*t I went through when we broke up. This lasted for 2 months or so, and then she told me we should have never got back together. But the worse was still about to come: shortly after, I heard she was dating another guy. Oh boy, I never felt so sad in my life. I was watching the girl I loved, the girl I did everything for, breaking up with me for the second time and starting to date another guy. Luckily I had my friends by my side to help me deal with everything, but it was too much hard. So now we are in November 2011. On a regular Saturday I was online on Skype and she came in online too. Since our second break up I was clearly avoiding her, I was doing everything I could not to think about her. But then she texted me on Skype telling me she missed me. Yes, her new boyfriend had broken up with her. And yes, I was stupid enough to answer her telling I also missed her. So during the following days we texted each other frequently, and in a short time we started to go out again. We kinda of agreed to take thinks slowly this time. But soon enough we were officially dating again. But then… came February 2012. She had a 30-day trip planned, she was going to spend some time with her brother that lives in America. The day before she took her plane we went out to have lunch with her parents and later we said goodbye to each other. At that point, I was thinking “great, we are back together, in one month she will be back and we will pick things from were we’ve stopped”. But obviously things did not go that smoothly. When she arrived at her destination, she wrote me a quick email telling me she had arrived and that everything was ok. And that was it. In the days that followed she didn’t bother to send me news. I wrote to her once asking if everything was ok, but she didn’t answer. Then she came back from her trip. And clearly things were not ok between us. At first, she didn’t want to see me, and when we did meet, she told me she didn’t want to be with me anymore. Keep counting: this was the third time she was breaking up with me. I was almost getting used to it. Just kidding. A week or so passed without us speaking to each other. Then we exchanged a few texts and agreed to meet to have a beer. By the end of the night, we went to my place and, well, slept together. From that day until last Saturday, April 21st, we were back together. Last Saturday night we went out to a club, but we didn’t have fun, at least I didn’t, and let me tell you why. At some point, we were dancing when she received a text message. It was the other guy she dated after she had broken up with me, he happened to be in the same club. She didn’t know I knew who he was, and so she kept exchanging a few messages with him while we were dancing… When we came back home, I was clearly troubled by what had happened, and she realized that. She asked me what was wrong, and I simply said “you don’t think that I don’t know who sent you that message, do you?”. And then she turned to her side and tried to sleep. The next morning, she woke up early and tried to leave without waking me up, but she didn’t managed to. I asked her what was going on, she said she didn’t want to talk about it and left. Later that day I called her and asked to meet her at her place, and she agreed. I asked her to tell me what was going on and then she said again that we should have never got back together. She said she didn’t love me anymore and that this time she was going to erase me from her life. She was going to erase all my phone numbers and email addresses, block me on Facebook, and do anything she could not to talk to me. I asked her not to do that, but she answered that her decision was made. And then I left. Oh, just to clarify one thing: as far as I know, currently she is not talking to or seeing the other guy. He seems to have a new girlfriend. So here I am, one week after she broke up with me for the forth time. I have to say that this time I’m not that depressed, but it is hard not to think about her. Even after everything that happened, I still have feelings for her. I know, I’m not that bright. To me, it is almost impossible to admit that it is over. We had so many wonderful moments together and did so much to stay as a couple even with the distance between us that to me it is completely non-sense not to keep trying! I really, really like her, and at some point I was sure that I was going to spend the rest of my days with her (and I know she felt the same way). Today I almost wrote her an email telling how I was felling about everything, but I didn’t send it. So this is my story. I know it is a long and tiring one, so I want to thank you for reading it. I would very much appreciate having some feedback from you, it might help putting things into another perspective. Oh, and sorry for any possible English errors I may have done. I think by now you've figured it out that it is not my native language
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