spiderowl Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 How common is it for girls/women to actually be asked out directly by a guy? When I look back at the times I've ended up in relationships, for however long, the 'invitation' has usually been quite casual or along the lines of "are you going to xxx? I am too, I'll see you there." or "do you fancy going to see that gig/concert/film some time?" Only on a few occasions has a guy actually asked me to go out with them to dinner or made it clear it's a date and not just two friends doing something interesting together. Obviously, it did later become clear that they were interested in being more than friends but not necessarily beforehand. The 'date' thing has happened more since I've been online dating - I guess it has to be clearer then - but I wondered whether very pretty girls, for example, get asked out on dates more often or if most invitations from guys to women are casual. What do the guys think too? Do you try to avoid directly asking for a date or make a point of it?
ASG Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 In my experience, I've been in very very few dates. It has mostly been like you've said, a case of hanging out and things progressing. Not really a "let's go out for dinner on a date" type thing. I've never doen OLD, so I wouldn't know how things happen when you do.
starla33 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 How common is it for girls/women to actually be asked out directly by a guy? When I look back at the times I've ended up in relationships, for however long, the 'invitation' has usually been quite casual or along the lines of "are you going to xxx? I am too, I'll see you there." or "do you fancy going to see that gig/concert/film some time?" Only on a few occasions has a guy actually asked me to go out with them to dinner or made it clear it's a date and not just two friends doing something interesting together. Obviously, it did later become clear that they were interested in being more than friends but not necessarily beforehand. The 'date' thing has happened more since I've been online dating - I guess it has to be clearer then - but I wondered whether very pretty girls, for example, get asked out on dates more often or if most invitations from guys to women are casual. What do the guys think too? Do you try to avoid directly asking for a date or make a point of it? Most dates I have gone on they do actually ask you out. For example...would you like to grab a drink after work? It sounds a bit casual, but yeah that is how it usually works.
Author spiderowl Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Yes, that's the kind of thing I was referring to, the casual suggestion. I suppose I was trying to distinguish between what could be taken as two friends just hanging out together after work or otherwise and the guy making it clear it's a date.
runner Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 i find it works best to make it clear that it's a date, and not just a casual hang-out. and it doesn't really matter what words are exchanged between the two; context is what matters more.
dasein Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 "Dating" was practically DOA before OLD, and other than OLD pretty much still is. My friends used to rail me for "dating" women, and they were right generally in a pragmatic sense. It isn't necessary today at all once you see how things really work and reach a certain experience level, counterproductive even. I think many women instantly devalue men who ask out on dates as weak if it isn't done just right. I still do it because I enjoy it and have learned how to do it with minimum angst. It's still the best way for guys starting out though IMO. 1
ThaWholigan Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 "Dating" was practically DOA before OLD, and other than OLD pretty much still is. My friends used to rail me for "dating" women, and they were right generally in a pragmatic sense. It isn't necessary today at all once you see how things really work and reach a certain experience level, counterproductive even. I think many women instantly devalue men who ask out on dates as weak if it isn't done just right. I still do it because I enjoy it and have learned how to do it with minimum angst. It's still the best way for guys starting out though IMO. ^^this. I don't know anyone who truly "dates" anymore. The only people who go on dates are people who are already in a relationship with each other (my brother used to take his girlfriend to dinner all the time, but he NEVER dated her before having sex with her).
Recommended Posts