kyle77 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 So me and my ex girlfriend have been apart now for roughly 7 months....over that time we have remained in contact during university as she was in one of my classes. However it is summer time now and I won't be seeing her at all. Is it normal for me to still have moments of severe depression when I see a picture of her or when I hear news about her going out or being with another guy? Initially it was like that all the time for a few months, however it has gradually gotten less intense...or rather i got better at distracting myself. I still think about her everyday...i just can't help myself. Do you think I should be pursuing her? Are these feelings in a way a "sign" that I should be trying to get her back or is this completely normal? Also, if this may be a "sign" what questions should I be asking myself as to whether or not I should be trying to get her back...and if this is normal is there anything I can do to improve my emotional state so I don't have these terribly depressive moments. Thanks
Author kyle77 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 anyone have any ideas? any general advice?
Meg717 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 I don't think it's a sign that you should be pursuing her. I think now that you won't be seeing her when you have class, you are actually beginning the process of breaking up. By being in class with her, you didn't have to fully accept you weren't together anymore. Obviously you knew you weren't together bc you weren't doing anything that couples do, but you had an excuse to talk to her, now you have nothing - you need to come to terms with that. Don't try to get back with her. Enjoy your summer and work on yourself.
Author kyle77 Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 what would you advise I do to get over her? I just want to not think about her all the time and truly accept that I will be happy again without her...
geegirl Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 what would you advise I do to get over her? I just want to not think about her all the time and truly accept that I will be happy again without her... There is no quick fix in getting over a break-up. As cliche as it may sound, it will take time for your feelings to dissipate and for you to emotionally detach. Try to focus on yourself and distract yourself the best you can. She left a void and now you must fill it with new experiences and new people. You will be happy again. It won't always be this way. And those bad feelings that you have aren't an indication that you should be pursuing her. It's an indication that you are finally processing the break-up and accepting it. The only way to go past it is to go through it. We've all been there.
WildHorses Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 My ex and I broke up in October. He met some new girl, left me for her. They are now living together. I was completely devastated for 2.5 months. Horribly depressed. I could not function at all. Then, things started to get better. I have found there were times of anger, but it would go away quickly. I just happened to watch a movie called, The Vow the other day, and that triggered emotions again. I have been feeling sad/angry for the past 2 days. Even if him and that girl broke up, I could never and would never return to him. I can no longer trust him. He is a piece of ****. It's normal to have feelings come up every once in a while. You spent a lot of time with that person and now that is gone. I would assume since you still keep in touch with your ex, that would also bring on feelings. I don't know your situation really. Is she interested in you? Does she want to be single? Would you rather move on?
Author kyle77 Posted May 2, 2012 Author Posted May 2, 2012 I am not really sure if she is interested in me...I get the feeling that she wants me to pursue her for her to even consider me because we broke up because she felt unappreciated. So that makes sense that she wants to know that I do appreciate her enough to go after her...lately when we are together we are very very friendly towards one another...not touchy feely but very friendly for sure. I would go after her and try and make her mine again...because I honestly believe she wants that too to an extent...but I am just worried cause what if it doesn't work then I am back at square one and depressed....or what if I do get her back but then it only lasts a few months....I want a long-term relationship with her or nothing at all....
budley12 Posted May 2, 2012 Posted May 2, 2012 my ex and I were together for 3 years. was both of our first loves. He broke it off 5months ago and is with someone new. I think he was secretly talking to the new person behind my back but wouldnt admit it. I have been NC for a very long time (lost track)... but i miss him every day. Every day I want to break NC and just talk, to see if there is something there. His family still likes my statuses on fbook even though I blocked my ex. It sucks when I hear that stories of how he is loving his new relationship and I am no longer in his life. I feel you...
Author kyle77 Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 ya that is very similar to my situation...my ex did get in a relationship but it fizzled quickly only lasted a couple months....but like I just want her back or to completely forget about her....like I am afraid to go on Facebook these days because I am gonna see something going on in her life and I am gonna break down....I just want to be happy and I know that I am suppose to be able to find happiness without her but what am I suppose to do....she isn't in my life anymore and hasn't been for a while and I feel terrible....
Eddie Edirol Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 If she wanted to get back with you, she will start to be touchy feely and flirting with you again. Right now she kept her distance and you felt it. Leave her be and work on getting her out of your head. if it doesnt work out with the other guys, she might start looking in your direction again, but dont count on it. Leave her be, youre going through withdrawal right now, thats the depression. Love withdrawal. It was a drug. Start talking to other women. Dont date any of them, just talk to them. usually you can run into a personality that might make you rethink that youre holding onto nothing.
Author kyle77 Posted May 4, 2012 Author Posted May 4, 2012 do you have any advice for getting her out of my head?
budley12 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 do you have any advice for getting her out of my head? Getting our ex's out of our minds is very hard. It works almost like a paradox; the more we try not to think about them, the more we do. My best suggestion is: find a new hobby, something you never did with your ex. Do something that will make you leave your comfort zone... -fishing, rock climbing (I just started and is so much fun and have met new people), working out, yoga, traveling (this can take up a lot of time, even just planning the trip will get your mind off things), go hiking in the woods and appreciate nature around you, read a book, read another book, play a video game, fly a kite. There are so many interesting things in the world and it isn't fair to ourselves to be depressed that we can't share these things with the person we love. But this shouldnt stop us from witnessing these experiences.
budley12 Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 *** in addition to my post above: GET OUT AND DO IT! it is so easy to just sit in your bed all day and think about the "good" times with our ex's. You may have to force yourself to actually do something new and exciting since you want to share it with your ex. At first it may be hard, but I can guarantee that with each new experience with different people, you will slowly start to realize that you do not NEED your ex to move on with life... I am about 6months into my BU from my first love and am still struggling. But embrace your feelings, do not fight them. Learn from them. Learn about yourself.
Tiera D Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 the sign means its time to move on.. keep ur schedule busy,thats one sure way to lessen the depression,or get a new chick it helped me though.. TD
Eddie Edirol Posted May 4, 2012 Posted May 4, 2012 do you have any advice for getting her out of my head? Yes, go meet new people.
Author kyle77 Posted May 5, 2012 Author Posted May 5, 2012 *** in addition to my post above: GET OUT AND DO IT! it is so easy to just sit in your bed all day and think about the "good" times with our ex's. You may have to force yourself to actually do something new and exciting since you want to share it with your ex. At first it may be hard, but I can guarantee that with each new experience with different people, you will slowly start to realize that you do not NEED your ex to move on with life... I am about 6months into my BU from my first love and am still struggling. But embrace your feelings, do not fight them. Learn from them. Learn about yourself. ya is the first break-up the hardest? cause I honestly feel like this girl is going to haunt me for the rest of my life....
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