CH66209 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Follow up to "he ended if and I'm dying".... This morning I received a simple text, "Hi". Is this a genuine friendly gesture, or his twisted attempt to confirm that he's in control and baiting me to respond? After 15 days? Really?!!! Help!!!!!
LoveTKO Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 15 days?? Think about it for a second......that's a long time to be without wild sex. Texting "Hi" is synonymous with foreplay. I'm just telling you like it is. He wants some lovin'. 2
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Follow up to "he ended if and I'm dying".... This morning I received a simple text, "Hi". Is this a genuine friendly gesture, or his twisted attempt to confirm that he's in control and baiting me to respond? After 15 days? Really?!!! Help!!!!! He's testing you. Seeing if you'll cave. If you cave, HE wins. HE will know he can manipulate you. He'll make a fool of you so do NOT reply. Call your cell provider and change your number. NC then will be easier for you. 2
Author CH66209 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 15 days?? Think about it for a second......that's a long time to be without wild sex. Texting "Hi" is synonymous with foreplay. I'm just telling you like it is. He wants some lovin'. It's not a booty call. He lives several states away. And besides, whe n he ended the A he said he'd "met someone new", two weeks ago.
Author CH66209 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Last week, one of yall told me that "silence is painfully effective". That's what I'm clinging to now. I'm trying so hard! 3
imfine Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 The ass hat is fishing. He just wants to make sure you'll be at his beckoned call should he need an ego stroke. Ignore him & deflate his ego. Often in affairs a false breakup occurs to set you up for a downgraded status, as if being the OW doesn't hurt enough. Block him from every form of communication. It's the best way you can love yourself right now. 1
LoveTKO Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 It's not a booty call. He lives several states away. And besides, whe n he ended the A he said he'd "met someone new", two weeks ago. ....yeah, but he's still trying to keep you on the side, or maintain some form of contact, just in case. On the other hand, he might just be a complete dip$hit who gets off on playing games, stringing people along. Sounds like his ego needs to be stroked some. He ended the affair with you because he met someone, so that means your deal with him went tits up, right? So why is he still playing games with you? He sounds like a dog.....sorry, but he does. 1
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Last week, one of yall told me that "silence is painfully effective". That's what I'm clinging to now. I'm trying so hard! Don't give him the satisfaction and ego feed. Don't EVER show him your emotions, tears or saddness. How you feel and how you cope with all this is NONE OF HIS BUSINESS. Yes, silence is golden and ignoring him, will show him he's not worthy of ANY reaction. Change that cell number. Make it impossible for him to reach you. Change your email address, if you're on facebook, create a new fb page, add all your friends and block him. Change your settings so noone can find you and only friends can leave you messages. 1
Fitz Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Until your self esteem is intact, you will continue to allow people to take advantage of you. And you will never be truly happy. Your self esteem is the real problem. 1
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 It's not a booty call. He lives several states away. And besides, whe n he ended the A he said he'd "met someone new", two weeks ago. Life goes on and so should yours. He chose to leave his wife and be with someone else, not you. REMEMBER THAT PAIN and ANGER. HE is a scumbag and isn't worthy of your tears. Keep in mind how he has lied to his wife, hurt her, betrayed her, played her for a fool.. Then he did the same to you, led you on, gave you lie after lie to keep you interested in him and then he pulled the rug out from under you. ANGER is what you should feel too, not just sadness of missing him. What is it that you miss ? How he made you feel? It wasn't 'real' and it based on affair setting feelings, not 'real' life. He is a weak man, a user and is selfish. DO NOT cave! Don't reply. Anytime you feel like you might cave, come post here. 1
MissBee Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Follow up to "he ended if and I'm dying".... This morning I received a simple text, "Hi". Is this a genuine friendly gesture, or his twisted attempt to confirm that he's in control and baiting me to respond? After 15 days? Really?!!! Help!!!!! It's hardly ever the case that you go NC and the person NEVER contacts you. They usually do, and it's up to you to maintain NC versus get your hopes up that some one word "hi" means they mysteriously changed, love you or want to be friends or get back together. People miss each other....or they fish....but usually that doesn't mean anything else has fundamentally changed. 1
jphcbpa Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Text back "who is this, I don't recognize this number?"
Author CH66209 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Life goes on and so should yours. He chose to leave his wife and be with someone else, not you. REMEMBER THAT PAIN and ANGER. HE is a scumbag and isn't worthy of your tears. Keep in mind how he has lied to his wife, hurt her, betrayed her, played her for a fool.. Then he did the same to you, led you on, gave you lie after lie to keep you interested in him and then he pulled the rug out from under you. ANGER is what you should feel too, not just sadness of missing him. What is it that you miss ? How he made you feel? It wasn't 'real' and it based on affair setting feelings, not 'real' life. He is a weak man, a user and is selfish. DO NOT cave! Don't reply. Anytime you feel like you might cave, come post here. Thank you so much. I have copied and pasted this post (among others) on my phone homepage to keep reminding myself. One thing though - he did not leave his wife - she asked him to leave, reasons unknown to me, and he claimed to be devastated over it. I really believed that and also believed him that I was truly helping him to cope. Nonetheless, I am determined to not cave and give into his pathetic attempt to contact (manipulate) me. 1
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Text back "who is this, I don't recognize this number?" No! That is playing a stupid game. It is best for her to stay in NC mode and ignore him. 2
whichwayisup Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Thank you so much. I have copied and pasted this post (among others) on my phone homepage to keep reminding myself. One thing though - he did not leave his wife - she asked him to leave, reasons unknown to me, and he claimed to be devastated over it. I really believed that and also believed him that I was truly helping him to cope. Nonetheless, I am determined to not cave and give into his pathetic attempt to contact (manipulate) me. You're welcome. It is so important in the upcoming weeks NOT to reply, even if it kills you inside. YOU are in control here, not him. This is YOUR LIFE at stake and he broke your heart - Asked you to leave him alone so he can go on with his life. He has NO right to reach out to you like this and play the fishing game. It's mean, it's rude and he knows you're hurting yet he wants an ego feed, feel things out to see if you're still into him. His contact means nothing. remember that! 1
Gentlegirl2 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 If you don't go the next step and reply, then he hasn't engaged you in communication as he is trying to do. As soon as you get into a conversation or communication again... he's got you. After that he will work on getting you to do more of what he wants. Stay NC, GG 2
Author CH66209 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Text back "who is this, I don't recognize this number?" That's funny! But I don't want to play games with him. What are your thoughts on his intentions, J? Lonely? Manipulation? Sadist? Douchebag? 1
Furious Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 That's funny! But I don't want to play games with him. What are your thoughts on his intentions, J? Lonely? Manipulation? Sadist? Douchebag? All of the above! 1
jphcbpa Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 That's funny! But I don't want to play games with him. What are your thoughts on his intentions, J? Lonely? Manipulation? Sadist? Douchebag? Narcissist 4
RickFox Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Interesting, after a bit over 6 months of no contact and a wonderful never contact me again farewell message, my xMW threw me a 'hey' at the beginning of the month and a 'hi' one week later. It pissed me off more than anything and no, I haven't responded. 2
Emme Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 He misses you. It's normal. It's human. It doesn't mean that you give in if you want to get healthy and heal. It means you decide now if moving forward with your life is the direction you want to go in or do you wish to continue to stand still in the same place you were when you came to LS. That's all the text means. It's a test... a take home test. 1
Bellechica Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 He is trying to be back in control. It's a test to see if you'll take the bait then he will worm his way back into your heart. He has already hurt you and you don't want to go back to that place. Stop the cycle and be strong! Get busy and get your mind off him. Get angry like Rickfox! Way to go by the way! 1
pureinheart Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 Follow up to "he ended if and I'm dying".... This morning I received a simple text, "Hi". Is this a genuine friendly gesture, or his twisted attempt to confirm that he's in control and baiting me to respond? After 15 days? Really?!!! Help!!!!! This may not apply to you and your case, although in looking back on my past experiences most of the people that I felt were so diabolical in their exchanges with me were not. Actually most of the exchanges were nothing and not even worth my time or thought. There tends to be a trend on this board every so often to demonise the MM. They only have the power they are given IMO, and this includes anyone who has wronged you, or someone of which you do not want to converse with in any way. Remember, you have the power within you to say no should you choose to...hang in there and take your power back, if in fact you've lost it:) 2
Author CH66209 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Posted April 30, 2012 Ok, friends.... I made it through the weekend, maintaining NC, despite his pathetic attempt to feel me out. Tomorrow is another day (day 17. in fact) and I'm determined to keep my trend going. I have my moments of weakness, but I'm getting stronger with all your help. Thank you so much. FL, I'm watching for your new yahoo address. ch 4
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