bcgirl22 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. A few days ago we got into a fight. I got mad at him for doing something he knows I hate, and it really is the only conflict that arises in the relationship when he does it. He left the house at 4am in the morning saying he couldn't even look at me. I talked to him with a stern tone about the problem I had with what he was doing and I did ask if he loved me, and I had only said that because he has asked the same thing a couple of times and I felt that it was insulting, so I had only said it because I was upset. After that night I asked if he was going to be home for dinner, and he said he'd be home by 7 and then didn't come home, and then at about 10:30pm he texted "goodnight". The next day I didnt hear anything from him. I texted him a couple of times telling him to come home, we can work on things. He never said anything that day, and later that night I tried calling a few times but he didnt pick up. We've had issues about the same problem with what he was doing, and we've gotten into a couple of bad arguments this year. Usually it takes about a day or 2 and he comes back and we make up. Besides the problem that arises every now and then, everything is great. We get along great, make each other laugh, says Im the only girl who's gotten his jokes (Simpsons, etc), have a lot of the same interests. He has told me a lot of times hes lucky to have to me and that he loves me so much to the point where he gets a little teary eyed. And I love him so much, he is the most special person to me. I feel completely comfortable around him, like he is my other half. I know the best thing to do from what Ive read so far is to ignore the guy back. Ive been really upset about everything, Ive only sent a couple of "happy" texts telling him to just come home, we'll watch the game, Ill give him a massage etc. And today I finally texted him saying treat people the way you want to be treated, Ill be here when you get home, but dont make me feel so unimportant by completely ignoring me. And finally he writes back immediately saying hes busy at work, he needs time to think and that he'll talk to me later if he has time and take care. And he always writes saying "you, me dont know for sure anymore" I texted back saying at least come home so we can talk instead of text if we both value the relationship. And he replied saying hes busy (working) maybe later. A couple big arguments we've had in the past only last for a night or two and he has come back immediately and everything seems to be fine like normal. We continue to have a great time together, even though some of those arguments we had I thought he was going to break up with me like this situation right now. But he always came back. I hate having to text him when I really just want to talk things over. Or at least just relax together in person together and act like adults. Any advice on this situation? Its hard to not contact him. Is I need time to think about things code for breaking up? Or does anyone really think he just needs space and time to think. We have been living together and besides arguing about once a month or once every two months about the same thing, we live happily together. Everything happened early wed morning, thursday I came home from work and only his tv and ps3 were taken, that was also the day he told me he'd be home around 7. Im afraid to come home from work on monday if things dont work out and have all of his stuff gone. Im 25 and he is 28, previously hes come home late at night and apologizes and I apologize if we had fought. I dont know if this time is different or if hes just huffing and puffing and punishing me a little bit. He does have a little bit of a short temper over things, so Im not sure if he has been overreacting. Please give any advice Ive been so worried about this whole thing.
january2011 Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 It would help if you told us what this 'thing' is that he does. I don't think I would be happy for a live-in partner to disappear for a day or 2 and not contact me at all, unless it was part of his job. Though I'd still appreciate a message just to let me know that he's okay. He knows that you are unhappy with this 'thing' that he does and yet he still persists in doing 'it', which suggests that this 'thing' is more important than alleviating his partner's discomfort. Depending on what this 'thing' is, it's difficult to tell whether or not his behaviour is reasonable. I suspect that his behaviour in recent days means that he is pulling away from you. I'm sorry to say, but it looks like he's decided that this 'thing' is more important than your relationship. With time, you will see that this 'thing' that he does was a sign that you weren't compatible.
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