add2718 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 The other day me and my girlfriend were being intimate and her cell phone went off. She ended up answering it not once but **twice**. I was nice enough to let it slide the first time, but the second time was too much for me. After she ran out of the bedroom to take the call, I followed her and said this is ridiculous, etc. She said there was an emergency with her father or something. I told her I had to get ready to go to work and went in the shower. I come out 15 minutes later to find her completely gone. She took her bag and stuff and left. I call her cell and she answers and says she took the bus back to her dad;s house to be with him at the hospital or something. She also said she's extremely upset with me for getting upset with her over an emergency interrupting us having sex. I am in turn extremely upset with her just flat-out leaving my apartment without saying ONE WORD to me. When I pressed her on this, she said that "when someone i love is in trouble, I am 100% focused on them". I asked her why she couldn't take 10 seconds to tell me she had to go? So she would rather walk a ways to get on the bus and take that back to her house than ask me to drive her home? Her response to these questions was "I couldn't stand to be around you at the time" or something to that effect. Was I wrong in getting upset over her answering the phone during sex? I didn't even yell at her that much or anything, just really annoyed... and then she goes and pulls this crap. I don't understand how someone can tell me she loves me and then go pull a stunt like this.
TaraMaiden Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Let's try to establish some perspective..... How sick is her father?
darkmoon Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 you wrote "I didn't even yell at her that much" sorry, but it should be "I didn't yell at all"
writergal Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 (edited) So she would rather walk a ways to get on the bus and take that back to her house than ask me to drive her home? Her response to these questions was "I couldn't stand to be around you at the time" or something to that effect. It seems suspicious to me that your girlfriend would rush out of your apartment without saying anything to you to walk blocks to a bus stop to be by her father's side for an emergency. If it were truly an emergency she would have asked you to drive her home. She would have leaned on you for emotional support but she didn't. She just ran away which is not very girlfriend-like behavior. Plus her response that she's 100% focused on loved ones when they're in trouble seems like a huge lie to me because one can be focused 100% on their loved ones while at the same time needing emotional support from those they are with. This is not quite the same situation but bear with me. In college I was with my boyfriend at my apartment on New Years Eve when around 2 a.m. got a phone call from my friend who was really drunk and at some strange guy's house. She begged me to come and get her because she didn't drive there. So I asked my boyfriend to go with me and help me get my friend, and he said yes. I was SO thankful he was there because there were 3 more guys at this guy's house and my friend was undressed laying in this guy's bed, so I had to dress her and drag her down a flight of stairs with my boyfriend's help. Plus having my boyfriend there protected me (I think) from anything bad happening to me had I just gone there alone. Do I think your girlfriend was telling you the truth? It doesn't sound like it. Did you follow up to ask her what happened to her father? Are there any family members you could talk to who would corroborate your girlfriend's story? But I also have to ask why did you yell at your girlfriend for stopping sex? That seems abusive to me to do that. Edited April 28, 2012 by writergal
foolish optimist Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 I think you overreactd man. Unless her dad had like... a stomach ache, her behavior was entirely appropriate. If I was with someone I was in a relationship with and I got a phone call that my mom or dad was hospitalized and in critical condition you can bet your ass that I would run out of there faster than you could blink. I mean, generally I would tell them what was up on the way out, but if you're not in plain sight of me the distress i was in might cause me to forget of your existence momentarily.
Author add2718 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 To clarify this situation: (1) The first time she answered the phone, she came back looking bothered and said "ugh, he's such a pain in my ass" -- I think it was her male "best friend" calling her. (he's a whole another issue). At any rate, this did NOT sound like an emergency. If it was, and she had let me known that there was possibly something wrong with her father, I would have acted completely different. (2) foolish optimist -- I know what it's like to get a phone call about your parent being in an emergency. A couple years ago my mom called me frantically because my dad collapsed in their apartment. He ended up dying within a few minutes. I was talking to my best friend on the other line and I still took five seconds to click back and say "I GOT TO GO". The other thing that pisses me off is that I didn't get the story about what happened to her father until THE NEXT DAY. I pressed her about it the rest of the day, not to be a jerk, but because I was genuinely concerned about what had happened. But she couldn't tell me what happened until the next day? That's lame.
westrock Posted April 29, 2012 Posted April 29, 2012 (edited) Was her father already ill and she was expecting a call? If so, that would explain why she took the first call (likely thinking it was a family member calling to update her on her father), otherwise, it seems odd she would even take the call from her friend. As for the second call, I think you did not handle it properly, despite the way she acted. After she ran out of the bedroom to take the call, I followed her and said this is ridiculous, etc. She said there was an emergency with her father or something. I told her I had to get ready to go to work and went in the shower. You know what it's like to get a phone call about your parent being in an emergency (having lived through that yourself), but when she tells you there was an emergency instead of saying "oh, emergency? What is it? How can I help?".... you decide to say you have to get ready for work and then went into the shower? And then you are surprised she left? Edited April 29, 2012 by westrock
Author add2718 Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Yeah, when you put it that way... Looks like I deserved what I got. I'll admit I was in the wrong here.
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