FightYourFeelings Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Things were getting intense, she backed off, I backed off, she came back, repeat. I feel, hell I even smell, that she has developed feelings for me and is fighting them. Maybe trust issues, disappointments in the past, or just game (in this order). What to do?
Author FightYourFeelings Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Meaning drop her or just take it slow?
threebyfate Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 It's difficult to give you any advice without some details. Have you even dated? How long and often have the two of you dated? Did you ever enter a relationship? Have you ever spoken about your past with each other? Open communication within reason helps. The caveat of "within reason" is in reference to pacing which will be individual driven.
Author FightYourFeelings Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 In which way should things get "intense" if we were not dating?? We are dating 2.5 months, total dates maybe 10 I dont count this stuff. We both took it slow, first intense kissing after 4th date, where she backed off for the first time. Didn't contact her, she came back after 1 week of silence. Then repeat, this time we were already in bed but it didnt happen lol. I feel her passion and warmth but also her insecurity and reluctance to commit. Our communication was "pretty open" from the beginning, however I didnt ask her too much about her past, just enough to know she was hurt she also had therapy for a couple of years.
daphne Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 In which way should things get "intense" if we were not dating?? We are dating 2.5 months, total dates maybe 10 I dont count this stuff. We both took it slow, first intense kissing after 4th date, where she backed off for the first time. Didn't contact her, she came back after 1 week of silence. Then repeat, this time we were already in bed but it didnt happen lol. I feel her passion and warmth but also her insecurity and reluctance to commit. Our communication was "pretty open" from the beginning, however I didnt ask her too much about her past, just enough to know she was hurt she also had therapy for a couple of years. You didn't explain what intense was, so I took it to mean that you guys went too fast and were too into each other early on. That's usually waht intense means. Taking it slow is an entirely different thing, where you slowly move through the stages of early dating to get to know each other. Your details aren't really specific, so I have no idea what to think. A week between dates isn't particularly that big of a deal. It sounds like you may prefer things to move faster, she prefers slower. Perhaps that's where the disconnect is.
Author FightYourFeelings Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 well yeah, obviously this seems to be the disconnect. I must say that in the past things have gone "faster" for me, so this is somewhat new. But she is cool and I like her a lot so...I'll try to be less intense. Let's see if I can handle it
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